60 Days in Europe…#61 Düsseldorf-London

Thinking my last day would be pretty quiet…was on the tram,inspectors got on,no worries still got a few hours on my app ticket,then the lady asked for ID  card or passport.Obviously I didn’t have my passport with me so she called her three colleagues.By this stage I am the centre of attention on a fairly full tram…even though I had a perfectly valid ticket certain regions also insist you have ID to go with a phone ticket.I was ignorant of this and whilst they were pondering if to fine me I asked if any photo ID with my name on will do because I remembered I had my old bastards don’t pay not nothing on public transport in London (after 9am) so stop your bloody whining pass ( that should be its official title) anyway it passed the old grey whistle test.Just…

At least it gave the watching public something to pass the time.Stupid Englischeser doesn’t know the rules etc.So remember people don’t be ignorant,or if you are, be old,live in London and carry your freedom pass…

After all the years of knocking out this blog on my phone it has taken me until this year to discover how to save text without the pain of banging out an almost full blog then losing it all…it might take time for me to pick up on modern technology sometimes but eventually I get there.Not lost one bit of self indulgent nonsense this time around…

In a previous blog I debated with myself if Italy was beginning to surpass Germany as my favourite country but whenever I come back to Germany it wins me over again(not really difficult) We have this impression in the UK of Germans being a bit uptight & serious( the famous “ no sense of humour “ trope) but in all my visits I have not found that at all…I think the big difference is that over here if someone isn’t interested in having a conversation with you they just won’t bother whereas in the UK we will not shut up shop,talk to a stranger for four hours then at the end of the night say something like “ god what a twat he was” a waste of everyone’s time & effort,and of course if you bump into each other again you’re almost obliged to spend time with them even though it’s the worst thing you can imagine.I have been in this situation myself,doubtless from both sides! As maybe all of the Brits reading this have…you tend to know when a German likes or dislikes you…

Anyway thinking ahead to German trips it might sound strange but I’m happy to keep it to five/six cities that I know quite well and obviously like a lot.Berlin,Hamburg,Leipzig,Düsseldorf,Cologne & Bremen…I want to spend more time in Bremen as I’ve only been there twice and it needs more attention…have been to others of course but that would be my ideal month long trip.Don’t really feel much of an itch to explore elsewhere…will save that for France & Italy…

Been trying to get an angle on ETIAS the visa exemption that’s supposed to be coming in force May 2025.To be fair it’s been coming into force for about five years now so don’t hold your breath.Basically it seems to be something you apply for online,costs about £7 and is valid for three years or until your validity of your passport runs out whichever is sooner…however have also been hearing that now it will require photo & finger print ID.I get the impression nobody really knows what the hell’s going on…if they do photo & fingerprint ID at the point of departure I think we all know how hellish that would be so I’m guessing that would also be online too( hopefully) One way or another it’s coming in but it’s just a case of when & in what form so be prepared otherwise you could miss out on your holidays…

I can hear Yorkshire voices.It’s very disturbing…I feel like my personal space is being violated! Seriously though I’m gonna miss all this.Never felt so relaxed and I don’t just mean today but for the last two months…when I did the three months thing last year it was great an all that but mostly it was a bit of a rush with usually two or three days between travelling.This time it’s closer to five days between cities and it’s far better…now some may say that all I’m doing is going from bar to bar but I’m averaging over 10,000 steps daily but to be fair sometimes it’s been a trek between decent bars…just looked at my kilometre stats and it’s on over 19,000.I think it went a bit haywire after “The French Sunday “ but even if you take off 4,000 km I still think that’s a decent haul around Europe…

The Yorkies are at the “You’re alright Mike I don’t care what they say” stage and it’s only 4-30pm…they need to get in the shade…

Anyway when I get back I need to get out more.I don’t mean doing what I’m doing here because that’s just not feasible in London( the beer’s much more expensive and far worse) but I need to discover more about the city and also get out on the bike more too…the easy thing is to stay in and vegitate…I have also got a few bits of work lined up at my old place too,about four/ five days before Xmas so that’s cool…sorry I’m rambling…

See you later crocodile…

See you back in Blighty.I’m off the French Bar soon for some more cultural enrichment…so that was nice.Got a hug from the sexy landlady.Never got a hug from Gary,just a handshake and no eye contact…as an added bonus the young barman who had a whole Enimen vide and will henceforth be called Stan asked if I was going back to Wolverhampton ( he evidently clocked the badge yesterday) so to save complications I said yes and he tapped his heart twice and any football fan will tell you that means a lot,not as much as a hug from a sexy woman,but a lot.Sweet dreams and hopefully see you on the other side…

60 Days in Europe…#60 Düsseldorf…

Yes day number 60 but not the last day as I always seem to get these things wrong…how wrong could become apparent tomorrow going back to the UK…we will see…

Lots of Rammstein fans around,turns out they’re playing five nights in Gelsenkirchen ( home of Schalke FC) apparently it’s one of the poorest areas of Germany that has a great stadium but not much else going for it…hopefully having a big name band there for an extended stay will help the local economy a bit…

As it’s monday afternoon obviously the local strip is quieter and that means the dancing drunks are more visible especially as most bars are still pumping out either high energy Europop or yer bog standard 80‘s spandex middle of the road rock anthems…blisteringly hot weather,warm beer & mental fragility can be a heady mix.They seem harmless enough but insist on flashing as much potato coloured skin as possible whilst dancing worse than yer pissed up uncle at a family wedding…

Even though Aubeerge‘s is closed I keep bumping into the English barman Gary,both yesterday and again today when he came in the bar I’m in.Not sure who’s stalking who here…

Been very lucky with the wasps this year.Usually I’m plagued by the little bleeders but hardly had a sniff.Maybe it’s because I’m here earlier than usual and they haven’t got into full angry little buggers mode yet…obviously had hassle with mosquitoes early on but they tend to sneak up on you whilst sleeping whereas wasps are literally in your face constantly…note to self get anti histamine tablets from chemist next time.Still got plenty of cream left and also the anti mosquitoes spray too(which also cuts down the threat of West Nile Virus,a comfort I’m sure you’ll agree)

Currently in the most French looking bar I have ever been in despite it being in Germany of course.The landlady either is French of has a very heavy French thing going.I have been very British and volunteered to come inside as it’s rammed outside with at least 25 people taking up space( it is small) and I gave up mine like the heroic little Brit that I am.Also even at 8pm the outside heat is getting to me…anyway just complimented the owner who said as soon as she saw it 17 years ago she said that’s going to be hers…now now no jokes about Germans taking over French things please! Infact I’m not even sure she is German,got a French lilt to her English accent but that could just be an affectation…anyway it’s now my second favourite bar in Düsseldorf and if the lady keeps up her French/German/English hybrid accent it could rapidly become my favourite…

In a while alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#59 Düsseldorf…

Sunday noon and I have just had an outstanding Irish fry up in an Irish bar.The big difference between this and the Berlin one I had a few weeks ago is the Irish understand that green healthy stuff does not belong anywhere near a fry up…real Daddy‘s brown sauce too.It was the dog‘s bollocks…

Last night in the Alt Stadt was hectic as you can imagine.If you’ve not been there’s probably 80 to 100 bars in a very small area and it gets rammed at weekends.It’s a sight to behold with very little trouble that I can see…deep respect for German bar staff who work like Trojans at times like this.I go to a small rock pub called Aubeerge.These are what in Berlin & Hamburg would be smokers bars but Düsseldorf publicans took a vote to ban it.Anyway no matter.I‘m used to that in UK…it’s basically a smaller version of The Giffard in Wolverhampton with the same sort of clientele.Most people sit & stand outside with one or two inside until the rains come and then inside becomes packed with those not able to fit under the canopy.Man alive it’s non stop for the staff,usually three of them.One washing glasses(all by hand.No machines) one continuously pouring and one constantly serving every punter which was maybe 60/70 last night.That’s hard bloody work! It’s a good place and if you go have the local Alt Bier (Frankenheim in this bar) usually comes in small glasses so the more macho may not like it but if you put the “He Man” vibe to one side you may like it…

One thing I learned was that German pubs don’t clean their own pipes.Every week a firm comes in to do it.This might explain in a small way why their beer is constantly good.You rarely,if ever, get a bad drink,you might get a drink you don’t like but that’s a different thing…

Anyway I know I’m nearly at the end of the trip as my ( legal prescription ) drugs have nearly run out…have had a notification from the chemist that my new supply is in last week and I replied that I won’t be able to pick them up until Aug 1st but have no idea if they got the message.They might think I haven’t picked them up because I’m dead! 

Still having leisurely drinks in the Altstadt but changed location a few times.Currently in Bob‘s Punkrock bar.which sounds cool and is fine but obviously has as much to do with punk as UB40 has to do with Roots Reggae…they’re not even playing any music although I did hear the whistle from Rammstein’s “ Engel” but think that was from another bar…But y‘know an old rebel has to make a living…not sure what I’m doing later but it’s probably gonna be more of the same.The sun‘s shining and there’s plenty of people about…unfortunately the rock bar is not open until Wednesday so last night was my last night but I’m not exactly short of options…

Talking of options now is the time I’m beginning to think about upcoming trips next year.My thinking is erring towards breaking it up and doing a month at a time in one country.So a month in France say,take a break back in the UK for a bit then a month in Germany etc…not sure how that would work logistically but it’s worth a go and would certainly cut down on luggage & laundry visits…a German one would be interesting as they are continuing with the monthly €49 rail ticket,which is now available to tourists too apparently.However the big restriction is no fast inter city trains but I could do short regional hops between cities.We will see…will have to work around the football season too.Definitely one to ponder…

Just had a life size Minnie Mouse creep up behind me and scare the bejesus out of me! There was this sudden high pitched squel in my ear and my reaction was predictably “What the fuck?” Which made everyone turn round and Minnie give out another squel…the staff got rid of her but I must admit I was laughing like a drain saying it was fine…mind you I didn’t give any money as you just don’t know how much goes to that well known charitable organisation Disney…

In a while crocodile…

60 Days in Europe…#58 Düsseldorf…

Walking along a side street to the Rhine front earlier taking a picture of what I hope will be a bit of an arty farty epic and a little old lady who was struggling with her zimmer frame on the cobblestones stopped and said something.I thought she wanted help but she said if I wanted an excellent breakfast there’s a lovely little cafe down the road and she scuttled off…people are sometimes just sort of nice for no reason.In the great scheme of things it means nothing but in my little world,and hopefully hers,it meant a lot…

There’s a French festival going on down by the river at the moment because they probably haven’t had a festival for a few weeks and were getting a bit angsty about it,now of course it’s an idealistic rural version of France,much like a German themed one would be Lederhosen,Umpah music and busty fraus in Drindls and a Uk one church bells,poundshops and farmboys getting pissed on sheepdip cider but man alive when you see the cheese and wine with Edith Piaf yammering away in the background it makes you wanna go all middle class and recreate “A Year in Provence“ 

Had a bit of a heart stopping moment earlier.As is my way as soon as I get somewhere I check up on my leaving arrangements.Don’t know why but it’s got me out of a few tricky situations by dealing with them early…as I’m leaving for London on Wednesday I checked my paper reservation tickets( essentially my boarding passes to both Cologne- Brussels and Brussels-London) couldn’t find them.I had paperwork but not the correct paperwork,Off to the HBF to see if they could help.The fella there was incredulous,it’s probably the most un-German thing he’s ever heard! No they could’nt help and he wished me well much like a parent does when their five year old decides to run away from home…

Let me explain.When I first printed this stuff off months ago there were reams of it,all in very very small print.The kind of small print that even terms of agreement fine print would say “Jeez give the bloke a chance” so i kept it all then Eurostar changed the Cologne-Brussels times which resulted in yet more…still here? Good.So time for a coffee and a smoke and a good think about what to do…went through the complete works of War and Peace again to see if I had missed anything and found the updated Cologne- Brussels ticket complete with the crucial QR code.One bit sorted…never found the Brussels-London stuff so decided to really give my Interrail app a good long look,found the automated help line and they talked me through it and the upshot is I now have an email of my ticket( sent to my junk mail naturally) now all I need is to get it printed off.I may ask the hotel,find a shop on monday or wait until I get to Brussels.They have the facilities at St Pancras so maybe they have it too.Mad that you still need a paper ticket…one way or another I’ll work it out…oh and I might be a day over my Interrail limit too on Wednesday! Hahaha Will sort that out if or when the need arises…

On the subject of stupidity.Never order a local transport ticket on your phone when not completely sober.Did one last night,only going one stop and ended up buying god knows what…let’s say I spent more on the ticket than six Alt Biers! 

We all like to think we’re a good judge of people on first impressions and my first impression of the hotel manageress was that she was a bit of a harridan.Just got back from an all day session and was having a smoke outside.She came out and I thought “here we go” she said i could smoke on the balcony outside my room( i am on the top floor) that even though i have’nt booked in for breakfast i can have free coffee when i want and she also gave me a free bottle of Alt Bier as a night cap.I could’nt be more wrong about her…

In a while crocodile…

Ps I also managed to buy the correct U-Bahn ticket even though I have had considerabley more than six Alt Biers…

60 Days in Europe…#57 Düsseldorf…

No drama today,yet…got kicked out of my seat because,well it wasn’t mine.The fella was very nice about it and even pointed out an unreserved seat…they don’t do the English “ I’m terribly sorry but I think that’s my seat but if you want to stay in it please do,sorry.I will go and sit on the floor outside the Stinking toilet for three hours,sorry “ The Germans tend to hover over you until you move without saying a word except “ that is my seat” 

One thing German trains,and it seems most other European trains too,do,or don’t do,is list off every bloody item that’s on sale in the buffet and then also list every item that isn’t available that day thereby making any train journey seem double in length.No it’s usually a case of “The buffet is in coach C and it’s open” They know we know what stuff they sell and if they don’t have it then tough,have something else…

However what German inter city trains do that is good is a few minutes before arriving at a station they go through what connections there are and from what platforms they go from.A valuable help if you’re in a tight race to catch a connection.They normally do it in German,French & English because,yea of course they bloody do…

Almost perfect,off at Hannover and my connection to Düsseldorf was on the opposite platform while also giving me time for a smoke.No need for another change either and have a six berth carriage to myself (at the moment)The only sticking point is that it was lovely and hot in Leipzig and of course I’m in shorts & t-shirt…

but it‘s grey cold & wet this side of the country but I don’t think even the Germans can blame DB for that…just another two and half hours to go then…

Judging by the news thank god I chose to go to France pre Olympic Games.Sounds like their rail network is at a complete standstill.Those Frenchies know how to maximise their industrial action! 

Some of you might bring into question my musical taste and even I think “why the hell do I like that?” One such case in point might be “ Tales From Topographic Oceans” by Yes…long winded and up it’s own arse but perfect for looking out of a train window passing flatland that seems to go on forever.Four twenty odd minute tracks of losing yourself in hippy nonsense…don’t worry I did cleanse my palate later with The Clash’s “Give ‘Em Enough Rope” which does also seem to fit in with the industrial heartland of the Ruhr we passed through…

Did ok with the 6 berth to myself,from Hannover to Dortmund, my stop is next anyway so pleased with that.Not that I’m anti social in anyway…now passing through Wuppertal where I started two months ago.It’s only a few miles from Düsseldorf…and the weather looks a wee bit brighter too..,

As you can imagine the Aldstadt was heaving,Luckily Gary is still alive and doing well in the bar I go to.He was telling me the place was rammed all the time during the month of the Euros as a lot of fans based themselves in the area and there was little to no trouble so it all worked out well…

Had six glasses of Alt Bier ( they’re only small glasses) and the famed beermat mark up which I think only happens in this area now…€14.

In a while crocodile…

60 Days in Europe…#56 Leipzig—Düsseldorf

“Hallelujah “ No I have not hacked into Jacob Rees Mogg’s Twitter account,this is all I have heard coming from buskers in every city I have been to on this jaunt.It is the modern equivalent of Ralph McTell’s “ Streets of London “ and in my humble opinion a much better tune.Good old Leonard Cohen…

Had an excellent night in the squatters bar opposite the hotel.Did that thing of only popping in for one and staying nearly four hours…chatting to both the barmaid and a lad at the bar(I think they were an item ) just shooting the breeze.Got well and truly called out by the barmaid at one point when she served a half red wine half Sprite concoction and I naturally made a comment and she did an exaggerated English accent “ oh I used to work with wine!” And to be fair I was coming over as a pompous ass,got called on it and it made me laugh my arse off…they also found my attempt at saying “Tschüss “ very funny too( it’s not easy honest) anyway it was a good night with a lot of bollocks talked…don’t worry the piss taking wasn’t only one way,I gave my share back…the name of the bar is “Azadi” which is Kurdish and means freedom…

Last day in Leipzig and I must say because it’s a lot smaller than Berlin everything seems a lot more familiar.Maybe that’s why I feel pretty comfortable here despite less English being spoken(the young scamps I spoke with last night had excellent English) but once again it’s an agreeable place all round.The outskirts do look a bit rough around the edges but don’t let that deter you from a visit.Mostly that’s due to any investment being in the centre with the suburbs being left to their own devices.A common theme in East Germany I’m afraid…tomorrow I’m off to Düsseldorf which is always my last port of call on these trips as it’s a short ride to Cologne to get Eurostar back to Blighty,it’s a bit like putting on comfy slippers at home after a long day at work…

Mind you the Altstadt area of Düsseldorf does get pretty busy and there’s a lad from Nottingham called Gary who I always have a good natter to works in one of the bars.Last time I saw him he assured me if he wasn’t behind the bar next time I’m there then he’s probably dead.He’s a cheery soul…

Taken the plunge and gone back to Spizz for a Tomaten Suppe.My last for a while so might as well.Even bought extra tissues as this beard holds a lot!

There does seem to be a few more tourists around now than earlier in the week.Many of them Germans which would make sense as Leipzig is an historic city both with music & literature…have a lot of tours of elderly Germans especially around the passage & Bierkeller where Goethe hung around playing footsie with the Devil…

One thing I have noticed over these last two months is although I have had a drink or two( or more) every day apart from the horrendous French train day that is,I have slowed down to a pace where even the shuffling zombies on The Walking Dead would turn round saying “bloody hell get a wriggle on sunshine” the term “leisurely “ hardly covers it.I have never been the quickest drinker going but I’m badly out of practice for the upcoming football season.I may have to revise my strategy and stick to smaller bottles rather than pints…that probably seems to be the answer.

Talking of drink I’m having a nightcap or two in Azadi.My new friends aren’t in but I knew that anyway…I have found so many of these chilled little scruffy bars all over during my visit round various parts of Europe.All away from the centre of whichever city I am in an all seem content in serving the community rather than making an insane profit and all of them are supported by that community.This of course used to be commonplace in the UK but sadly is becoming more & more rare.The fault of both the breweries,landlords & communities equally in my view…another reason why I enjoy these trips more than  just staying in Britain in what is becoming an increasingly rip off culture…

Anyway…

In a while crocodile…

60 Days in Europe…#55 Leipzig…

Nearly 8am and I’m in the laundromat.The thing is I am sure I have used this one before on one of my previous shorter trips around Germany & Czechia.I would say it was maybe 2017 when I was staying around the corner and as soon as I saw this place it all clicked in…so now I am doing repeat journeys to laundromats! Rinse & repeat! 

That’s all done until London in a weeks time hopefully.Mind you if I do need an emergency wash I know one in Düsseldorf that I’ve used a couple of times also,at least I do remember using that one unlike today…the one thing I do recall about that stay is upsetting the chambermaid when I arrived and she scowled at me all week despite my efforts to be cheery and pleasant with her.She really resented me for being ten minutes early checking in! Hahaha

Even though the part of the city I’m staying at is fine I’m just taking a look around the Connewitz area to the south and it looks far more interesting & lively( for one thing wider pavements ergo more street activity.It’s definitely a thing) think I have only really scratched the surface of this city and when I come back might stay in this area.I think it’s also the arty part too so that always lends itself to a bit more of a hedonistic vibe…

I got it wrong about the transport app for Leipzig.It‘s called Leipziger and you can buy tickets on it.Good to know for the future…

Just had a look on the map and it’s mad to think I’m only just over a hundred miles from where mom & dad lived in Karlovy Vary in West Bohemia Czechia just after WW2.However it’s over a five hour train journey to get there from here.Infact Karlovy Vary seems to be a very long train journey from everywhere for some reason.Last time I was in Czechia a local told me the place was now run by Russian oligarchs which is sad if true…

I know it’s out of football season but I have not seen one RB Leipzig shirt being worn.Seen a few others,even a few PSG(?) for those not in the know RB are the most hated team in Germany and indeed around the world as their owners ( Red Bull) have run roughshod over every rule imaginable and somehow got away with it…not only with Leipzig but with about five or six clubs worldwide,they have just got a foothold in Britain with Leeds…as a team Leipzig have been consistently up near the top of the Bundesliga for years and attract 50,000 + crowds so it seems strange not to see even kids wearing their shirts…maybe they just give away loads of freebies to give the impression of being well supported…

Currently close to 4pm on Wednesday.Sitting outside an Irish bar as it’s off the main drag and not rammed( getting my excuses in) Even though the weather is a bit rainy the city is still pretty full midweek with shoppers or punters just having lunch etc.Remember this is not a main tourist hub but a city in the old GDR supposedly beset by economic problems yet still manages to be full to bursting on a Wednesday afternoon with grey clouds hanging around and yet we still hear in our media how Europe is failing,I have been dragging my sorry arse around this “ failing “ Europe for five month out of the last twelve,close to 40 different cities in 13 different countries and all I have seen is prosperity and people enjoying their life…anyway after this pint I’m off for Currywurst mit Pommes und eines Bier.So there…the Currywurst might be on hold as the heavens have opened so there’s a strong possibility I’ll be eating here…

Settled for fish & chips here.It was fine as you’d expect but I have noticed that tarte sauce in continental Europe is always saltier than ours…maybe it’s the use of different mayonnaise…anyway one thing I have noticed about Germans too is their almost pathological refusal to use umbrellas.It’s been grey & overcast all day and I’d think 80% of Brits would have taken a brolly with them.Today when it was raining on and off maybe an eighth of the people passing had one.Many wearing hats of course but that’s not the point…

I seem to have banged on a lot more than usual today ( making up for no show earlier in the week) one thing I have noticed about German bars/ cafes is they routinely put out a bowl of water on the pavement for any passing dog to quench a thirst.They don’t have to be patrons of the establishment and as dogs are notoriously carefree about the economy that’s probably a good thing,but it’s just a nice thing to do.On that happy note…

In a while crocodile…