German Football...Same game but world of difference.

After watching a fair bit of German football on ESPN for a couple of years i was always impressed by the atmosphere that seemed to be created at many games by the fans and by the open football so when a friend suggested a weekend in Dusseldorf to see the home team play local rivals Duisburg in Bundesliga 2 i jumped at the chance.

We took the Eurostar from Kings Cross on a cold February morning in 2010.A magnificent journey that only took just under five hours which included changing at Cologne.

Dusseldorf is close to the Belgium border in the Ruhr,a heavily industrial area similar to both The Black Country and Greater Manchester.The one big difference being that their factories are actually open for their designated purpose and not waiting to be turned into Premier Inns and out of town shopping Malls.

The other similarity is that it's surrounded by a large number of well known football clubs,most notably Schalke,Monchengladbach,Dortmund,Leverkusen and their hated rivals Cologne.

Dusseldorf is also famous for it's local brew Altbier and has many Alt bars,which unsurprisingly we took full advantage of...As you can see...It's also the birthplace of Kraftwerk & punk band Die Toten Hosen(who have sponsored Fortuna Dusseldorf 95 in the past)

So to the football.The first difference that's noticed is the price.For a huge local Derby which was expected to be a 48,000 sell out we payed the princely sum of 13 Euros(approx £10) which included the price of a return ticket on the local tram.I am assured that these low prices are common place in German football.
Once at the stadium we were corralled to be searched.Everyone got searched,and i mean everyone.In front of me were two young girls of about eight years old and even they got the full frisk...

Which begs the question...How the hell did the Duisburg fans get a flare in? Probably best not too think to long about where it was concealed...

There was a rocking atmosphere in the ground with both sets of fans giving it their all,including some wanton chair destruction from some of the 7,000 strong away support.Surprisingly the local plod did'nt seem too bothered about intervening while this went on.They just clocked the ringleaders on video,no doubt to pick up afterwards.

The ground itself was very well appointed with food & drink outlets about every 25 metres.This meant that all queues were at a minimum,this is also helped by the fact that drinks can be taken into the stands while the game is on.In real sturdy plastic glasses with a 1 Euro return deposit on each--a fact not lost on local kids who collect discarded glasses to supplement their pocket money...Oh and for the smokers among us it's ok to have a puff in the ground while watching the game as long as the sliding roof is open...

There also appeared to be a hell of a lot more women at the game than you see at British games,and as befits an area where Claudia Schiffer grew up,many were very attractive--Yes i know it's wrong of me to point that out but hell, why deny it?

The game itself was an easy 2-0 win for FD95.With goals from Harnik & Lambertz...

Harnik celebrates the opening goal...

Not all things are better...They clearly did'nt put more than a minute thinking up the design of the mascot...

We hung around in the stadium for about an hour after the game having more beer.Something which never happens in British football,where they try to get you out the ground as quick as possible.They certainly would'nt sell any more beer...

I can't deny there was some trouble outside between both sets of fans,but even this was an eye opener.I am used to it in Britain where the police seem to see every fan as a potential hooligan and treat us all in a disgusting manner.Here they knew who the trouble makers were and left the rest of us to go about our business...

Once back in Dusseldorf we hit a local bar for more football,plenty on offer...

...although i'm a bit disturbed to find i support "Woles"!

Final thoughts: I was very taken with the German way of doing football,the fans are treated as an asset rather than an unfortunate necessary to be endured.Consequently there seems to be closer ties & mutual respect between supporters and players.

If anyone gets the chance to go over to Germany to witness their football at first hand i urge you to do it,you won't regret it but you may be a little jealous of our distant cousins...

Finally a German Elvis...sort of...

Thanks to Dave,Mazza,Guy and Scott for a cracking weekend...

Endemol,so much to answer for...The rise and(hopefully)fall of Big Brother

As the title suggests i am no fan of BB,this was'nt always the case however...

When BB first hit British TV well over a decade ago i thought it was an interesting social experiment and like the rest of the country watched avidly even with the double whammy of Davina McCall shouting all the time and the talented Dermot O'Leary clearly slumming it.The programme was considered a great success and no doubt made it's makers,Endemol,a shed load of money.

If anything series two was even better and had probably one of the most gripping scenes ever witnessed on live TV as Nasty Nick Bateman  was taken to task by Scouser Craig Phillips over cheating in the BB house.Bateman was the archetype posh boy on the make and Phillips the solid working class lad just trying to get by.This was'nt just a spat,this was class war and the country was gripped.TV gold.

This moment turned out to be both the show's zenith and it's nadir.

Endemol could'nt quit on a high like that as no doubt they had too much invested in it so they had to keep going for bigger and bigger shocks.Sadly this meant filling the house with the sort of self obsessed Italia Conti rejects you'd emigrate to avoid and the sort of folk that give the working class a bad name...Plump up a cushion and watch the sparks fly.

Many of the contestants claimed on expulsion that they did'nt know what they were letting themselves in for but that's clearly bullshit.They may have been narcissistic arseholes but they we're all media savvy when it came to BB.

What they wanted above all was fame at any cost,without paying their dues,as world weary musos would have it.Why anyone would want fame just for the sake of being famous is beyond me.I don't know anyone who's even moderately famous but i'm aware of the tiresome abuse those that are suffer.I doubt if the rewards are sufficient when all you have is yourself and no discernible talent the world soon tires of you...

Ironically the most famous of the BB contestants was Jade Goody,who i doubt was savvy in anything.Let's be honest she was as thick as mince and i have no doubt she was chosen for that very reason,to be the prize exhibit in the modern day Bedlam.Crass cynicism of the highest order from the show's producers.She even managed to cause a diplomatic incident between Britain and India when she racially abused Bollywood actress Shipla Shetty.I bet Endemol were rubbing their hands in glee at that.

Over the intervening years many non-entities have passed through it's doors un-noticed by me and increasingly un-noticed by the public.Viewing figures have fallen dramatically  and tabloid interest has dwindled,so much so that C4 bailed out and C5 took over the running of it(surely it's death knell?) Shouty McCall has been replaced as host by previous winner Brian Dowling.A sure case of BB eating itself...

Hopefully the programme will die a death soon along with the equally savage Celebrity BB,in which Z list celebs have mental breakdowns in your living room when they realise their careers are going down the pan.

Finally Stephen Fry summed up BB best."Joseph Bazalgette created the sewers that took the shit from your home,his great great grandson,Endemol's Peter Bazlgette, is pumping it right back in"

Stick or Twist at Wolves?

Once again after a defeat Wolves fans are having the usual debate about whether to sack Mick McCarthy as manager.However this is a simplistic view of the matter...

Ever since MM took over at the club there's been a sizeable minority of Wolves fans who have wanted him gone no matter what.Despite reviving a club that was moribund at best,facing relegation to Div 1 or lower at worst,after the Hoddle debacle.These fans have constantly called for his head.Many have also resorted to personal abuse calling him "Mad Mick" & "Numpty" or much worse.

If that was'nt enough they were also turning on other Wolves fans for not agreeing with them,someone on the now defunct BBC 606 website coined anyone who countered their view as "Happy Clappers" and it stuck--indeed i still see it used on the new battleground of Twitter...

Wolves fans have a bit of previous in this area to be honest.Remember Graham Turner? now rightly feted as a saviour at the club,but close to the end of his tenure at Wolves there were badges produced with either "Turner Out" or "Turner in" on them...Graham Taylor was also hounded out by many fans who now say we sacked him too early.Having cake and eating it spring to mind...

After the last gasp escape of last season there seemed to be high expectations that we would not struggle as badly as we are at the moment.Many were saying lower mid-table--fair enough--but some were wildly off the mark with even talk of a Europa Cup place being offered up.Part of the basis for these higher expectations was the three clubs coming up were viewed as no more than whipping boys by many fans--not just at Wolves to be honest--I fell into the same trap too about Swansea,Norwich & QPR.I think we can all say we got that one badly wrong...

So now we find ourselves in the bottom three for the first time this season,with a gap growing too,and serious questions are being asked about the manager and his backroom staff.This time though not just from the strident anti-Mick-no-matter-what-brigade.

Personally i am in that rare camp of being undecided about Mick's future at the club,at times it appears that he's lost the ability to inspire the players but then we get well earned points at Arsenal & Spurs coupled with a  very unlucky defeat to Chelsea which was more down to the ref not doing his job properly than our failings.

There's also the small matter of who takes over the club if he's fired?

There's wild rumours about Rafa Benitez being lined up---can't see it myself--Curbishley has been mooted but i think he may have been out of the game too long.Another name mentioned is Lee Clark at Huddlesfield--Too risky in my opinion.To my mind there's no real quality realistically available,although Wenger may be close to getting the push!(That's a joke by the way)

Let's be honest we have no divine right to be a Premiership club---not many do--and we are never going to have the spending power of some of the clubs in this division.Every season we spend in the top flight for the foreseeable future is going to be a battle to stay there no matter who's in charge.

Whenever MM does get the push--it will happen at some time as it does for most managers---i for one will be thankful for all he's done for my club and treat him with the respect he deserves,then welcome the new boss, hopefully without any pre-conceived idea's ,with open arms...

...And i still can't make my mind up...

Stargazing----Watch,learn and feel humbled...

Over three nights--This Monday to Wednesday--The BBC are broadcasting an hour long show called Stargazing Live,a show devoted to The Universe and everything in it...

The idea is a spin off from the oddly popular Spring Watch,a programme fronted by the slightly bonkers--and it has to be said,annoying--Bill Oddie and the pulchritudinous Kate Humble,the thinking man's crumpet--An unofficial post originally held by Joan Bakewell---In which they set up cameras to spy on various animals getting frisky as Spring sprung.A mad idea that surely nobody would bother watching,yet strangely people did in their millions and continue to do so...

Stargazing Live is hosted by Professor Brian Cox and Irish comedian Dara O'Brian,at first sight an odd combination but it works well.

Prof Cox is a likable character,young,attractive,engaging and able to impart mind boggling information to us thicko masses with ease.Any student not leaving one of his lectures not with the desire to be a Physicist is clearly dead inside.If you're still in doubt check out his BBC series Wonders Of The Universe from last year.Quite brilliant.

I also like the fact that he will have no truck with conspiracy theories,indeed in last night's edition he said "If you still think we did'nt land on the Moon,turn over to ITV,i don't want you" Well said that man...

If that was'nt enough he was also a pop star in a previous life.He was in a band called D'ream who had one major hit that's mostly remembered for being hijacked by New Labour in their election victory of 1997.Luckily they were crap so music's loss is our gain.

Irish comedian Dara O'Brian is a bear of a man and at first glance a strange choice of co-host.However he has a degree in Physics from Dublin and therefore turns out to be the perfect choice as he treats the subject with due respect and is'nt just mugging for the audience in an attempt to get cheap laughs.

For once the British weather has been kind and they have had two clear nights in which to observe the night sky.

There's no point in reciting the facts and figures here as the whole thing's so massive,the enormity of the Universe so much to take in it's probably best just to accept the figures for what they are and try not to imagine the sheer vastness of it all,otherwise your head may explode...The one thing you may feel however is a little bit humbled in the face of such magnitude...

Hopefully the Beeb will make this an annual show like Spring Watch is,but with one proviso.Bring in Kate Humble too,y'know, for the dads...

Wolves earn their Spurs---Another lazy cliche ridden headline

After beating Everton in midweek the talk since had been whether Spurs could draw level at the top of the table and go on to win the title,their next opponents were Wolves, who were seen as nothing more than a minor irritant to be brushed aside without a seconds thought by the mighty North London outfit...

Happily football is not always predictable and Wolves are very rarely a pushover for the more vaunted teams in the Premiership,even though many of those clubs fans believe that all they have to do is turn up and the three points are theirs for the taking,the fools.

We all knew it was going to be though as Spurs have been on fire lately and have some fine players in Van De Vart,Bale,Modric,Lennon and Adebyor.On their day they can rip any team apart never mind one fighting it out near the relegation zone.

To counter this obvious threat McCarthy put out a 4-5-1 formation with Fletcher holding the line on his own upfront.We all adore this tattoo festooned Scot at Wolves,he had  slow start at the club but since gaining full fitness at the end of last season has been a leading light at the club,so much so that his scoring record from the last ten games of the previous term to now is as good as anyone in the country.All this in a struggling team remember.

Whilst we all marvel at his goalscoring i have never been convinced by his work outside the box,however yesterday he was magnificent,not only grabbing a goal--naturally--but holding up the ball and bringing the midfield in to play.

The much maligned Karl Henry was playing his 200th game for his local club and did what he does best,getting his foot in,harrying opponents and generally breaking up Spurs attacking play.I hold my hands up to being a huge KH fan here...

Next to him was the cult hero that is Manny Frimpong*,on loan from Arsenal.He was bouncing around like Tigger on speed at the Lane.No great surprise as his parent club is Tottenham's hated rivals,a point not lost on the home fans who booed him throughout,not convincingly though to be honest...He almost grabbed what may have been the winning goal with a side-footed volley early in the second half.Had he scored i have no doubt his head would have exploded with joy...

Lately the defence has been much tighter,This has gone along with Roger Johnson finally becoming the player we all hoped we'd signed from Brum in the summer.He's had a tough first six months at Wolves but hopefully that's behind him now and he, and we, can go from strength to strength.Also great to have the ever dependable Foley back at right back too.

We all knew that most of the game would see us on the back foot but we battled hard to keep the score at 1-1.A tremendous effort all round and once again Wolves left the Lane the happier of the two sets of fans.

During the walk to Seven Sisters tube station--A trek even Ranulph Fiennes would baulk at--- i was interested in listening to the Spurs fans views on the game,the consensus seemed to be that they "Should be beating teams like us" This is the usual cry of the arrogant fan who fails to see their own team's shortcomings in the deluded belief they have a divine right to win without putting in the hard work and earning the right to get the desired result.

Can Wolves stay up this season? I think so,there are area's we need to improve on but i feel we have the skill and fortitude to do so.

Can Spurs win the Premiership title?   I care not a jot...

Spurs show their superior skill level against hapless Wolves...

*Anyone interested can follow Frimpong on Twitter @frimpong26afc

I Tweet...Therefore i'm Spammed.

For much of my life i had avoided using a computer in the sure fire knowledge of the ignorant that i was right and the rest of the world was wrong...my eyes were opened to this obvious folly on my part about six years ago when i was sent to a computers-for-idiots-starter-course from work.I saw the light...

Like all late converts i then threw myself zealously into this new exciting world and within a week had bought a laptop for home...

First off i joined Facebook,which is enjoyable but even then i saw the limitations of the format.Namely it's restricted to those you already know in most cases---in saying that though i have found previously unknown distant cousins in The US---I tried Friends Reunited--remember that?----But all the people from my old school that were on there were the very people i avoided so long ago.Why would i want to get back in touch after all this time?

I had heard of Twitter but did'nt really have a Scooby Do as to what it was.A year ago i took the plunge and signed up---Notice all these sites are free by the way? the moment they start charging i'm offski---Once i had worked my way round the ways of Twitter i was smitten.

We have all heard the complaint that Twitter is nothing more than frivolous self absorbed wank,and to a certain extent it is.Many people not on it will say "All Tweeters do is post what they're having for dinner,who cares?" Yes it happens,done it myself.But what they're missing out on is  the rest of the Tweeting world that opens up to them.

I would imagine nearly every Journalist worth their salt is now on Twitter,it's usually the quickest way to get breaking worldwide news.Because of Insomnia i was aware of,via Twitter, the Japanese Tsunami & the death of Bin Laden  about three hours before official news broke.Hardly frivolous...

The whole Arab Spring began in Tunisia through Twitter.A photo of a protester setting fire to himself was posted onto a Twitter account and spread around the World quickly.It became the catalyst for revolution in three countries--with more to follow?---Without Twitter that brave selfless act would have stayed localised and probably nothing more would have happened.It galvanised the youth of Tunisa,Eygpt and Libiya to overthrow despotic rulers.

In Britain it has been a force for good,Most notably when thousands of Tweeters were hooked up for a massive post riots clean up a few months ago.

Yes it can be annoying,getting Spam Tweets and Spam followers is a pain.Sometimes it feels as though you're only hearing one side of a conversation.There are of course some absolute arseholes on there who seem to get a thrill in abusing those celebrities who Tweet.

Talking of which it can also root out the less desirable members of society.Stan Collymore,who's not always an easy man to like,was the subject of some vile racist claptrap from one Tweeter,got the police involved and got the fella charged.Good on him...

I can only see Twitter becoming ever bigger and more crucial to everyday life in the future.If nearly every Government in the World is worried about it's power then we know we're onto something...

Finally where else can a normal Joe like me be party to a wonderfully entertaining row between Victoria Coren and Michael Winner?

Twitter,i salute you...

10 slightly annoying things about football

Many of us blokes love a list and i'm no exception.
This is mine about things that slightly annoy me about the game i love(The big issues like corruption & Racism can wait for another day)
In no particular order...

1)The Sky hype; Now i'm aware that Sky are in the business of self publicity in an attempt to either get new customers or hang on to existing ones but does Bolton V Stoke and Wigan V Blackburn really constitute a "Super Sunday" ? I don't think so.More of a "It's a good day to roam around Homebase Sunday"

2)Badge Kissers: When a player scores then runs to the fans kissing the badge just who are they trying to kid? To my mind it really means the player involved will be off if the club up the road offer a tenner more a week.It's over compensating of the highest order and the fans are'nt fooled by it.

3)Precious fans; You know the scenario.An opposing player gets dogs abuse from the home fans for 90 minutes then as he's leaving the pitch flicks the V's at said fans.What usually happens? Fans complain to the police! Grow up.Never was the old adage of "If you can't take it don't give it" more apposite...

4)ITV Football coverage; Nuff said...

5)Diving; Ah yes the hardy perennial.We all know it's cheating and every club has had at least one player who "Goes down rather easily" or "Makes the most of a challenge" It's cheating pure and simple.However to my mind the worst cases are when two players come head to head in that odd testosterone fueled who's-got-the-biggest-dick-rutting-stag way and one falls to the ground clutching his face as if hit by a sledgehammer and not slightly brushed by the opponents forehead.However it's laugh out loud funny when both go down simultaneously.

6)1966 and all that; Whenever England play an international game the commentators invariably drop in some sort of mention of England's World Cup win in 1966.Give it a rest for God's sake.It's both predictable and boring.Indeed many of my Scottish friends open a book on what time the first mention will be.The clever money normally goes on between 30 and 45 seconds...

7)Square nets; Over the last few years the fashion for these kind of nets has annoyed the hell out of me.For one thing they look ugly.They're also far too shallow.The ball's in and out of the net before you realise it's a goal.I want to see the ball "Nestle" in the back of the net.I want to see the beaten keeper having to pull the net over his back to retrieve the ball...

8)Talking of nets; That moment when a team's two nil down and pull a goal back with a few minutes left.Invariably the attacking team try to retrieve the ball quickly to get it back to the centre circle to save time.Of course it always has the opposite effect as the keeper holds onto the ball and usually a fight breaks out between players.So instead of speeding up the game it has the opposite effect.

9)Choreographed goal celebrations; You all know the ones.The pretend golf shot,the baby rocking etc.Hate it hate it hate it.If the players have spare time in training practice free kicks or something not auditioning for Strictly Come Dancing.It's particulary galling if it's done by your players when four down...

10)Waving the imaginary card; Ok i admit this is more than slightly annoying,it's very annoying and there's a simple way to stamp it out.If a player waves an imaginary card at the ref then he get's one too.

Those First Impressions----Billy McKenzie(1957-1997) An Appreciation

The first time i became aware of Billy McKenzie was hearing a woeful version of "Boys Keep Swinging" I had him pegged as just another lower league Bowie wannabe and thought nothing more of him.How wrong could i be?
Those First Impressions indeed...

The next time he came in sight of my radar was when i watched Top of The Pops a few years later and his band,The Associates,were miming wonderfully to their new single "Party Fears Two" I was awestruck.

The next day i bought their latest album called "Sulk" Luckily the shop only had the US version which included extra tracks that the UK one did'nt.It was on my turntable for months thereafter.

Billy formed The Associates,along with Andy Rankine,in the late 70's.They came out of Dundee at a time when Scottish music was at it's best and most diverse with bands like Aztec Camera,Jesus and Mary Chain and Orange Juice, to name just three of many talented groups.

First off Billy was an exceptionally good looking fella,Something he appears to be well aware of.But more importantly his voice was an extraordinary tool to compliment his songwriting.His looks could charm the birds from the trees but his vocal range would no doubt leave them mute with admiration...

His songs vary from the whimsical---Ice Cream Factory.The lustful---18 Carat Love Affair.To the downright rip-your-own-eyes-out depressive---Gloomy Sunday & No most notably.

The next single to come off the "Sulk" is probably the best known commercially. It was "Club Country" I remember their appearance on Top of The Pops not just for the crispness of the music and quality of Billy's vocals but also it involved probably the most over the top flirting with Martha Ladly--she of Martha and The Muffins fame---The show had'nt seen that much flirting since DJ Mike Read caught his own reflection in the camera...

In truth Billy was more of a Torch singer than pop artist---Stories say he was never comfortable with the commercial side of the music business---As his version of the age old classic " Gloomy Sunday" probably testifies.This song has been covered many times since first wrote in the 1920's and i have heard many of them,but none better than Billy's.Decide for yourself...

Even though "Sulk" was a high benchmark their next album "Perhaps" is my favourite.By this stage Rankine had left the band.Ironically it's rumoured that Billy hated it and hid the master tapes for two years,when it was eventually released it was a flop,putting him in debt to his record label for a shed load of money.Even though i love it and to me that's all that matters.Here's my favourite track.Ignore the God-awful video...

After this i lost touch with the what Billy was producing although i was aware he collaborated with various musical luminaries,most notably Yello.

Then in 1997 news broke that he'd taken in own life back home in Dundee.Shocking as this news was it would be a lie to suggest that many were not overly surprised.He was always a complex character with a history of depression.Even so a terrible loss.

So thanks Billy for many years of pleasure listening to your wonderful voice...Gonna leave you with Billy at his powerful and playful  high-octane best...

Thanks again Billy...