...and we're back.
Group E( The group of deces/muerte)
Switzerland) Quite unbelievably seeded for this world cup, don't expect anything approaching fireworks but if you like strong defensive play the Swiss are your men.Switzerland are an all round no thrills decent team but nothing about them stands out.In a dystopian future all international teams will be Switzerland.Expect Roy Hodgson to be namechecked at every Swiss game...
France) Sami Nasri was dropped from the squad last week so his wife took to Twitter to vent her anger not only on manager Didier Deschamps but the whole French nation.She also wished hubby was Spanish,presumably so she could also spit out her hate towards them when he failed to get in their squad too.In truth Deschamps should have laughed it off but he's threatened to sue.Not ideal preparation for the world cup you'd think but still ten times better than last time when there was open revolt among the players.Like their Rugby team you never know which French team will turn up,the brilliant or the total abject.Still have the best national anthem going...
Honduras) Oddly Honduras have six UK based players in their squad plus a few from Spanish football.They also have one named Carlos Costly who no doubt would have been a perfect buy for Spurs if Alan Sugar was still CEO.Will not trouble anyone in the group,lets just hope they don't go to war with anyone like they did with El Salvador in 1969.
Ecuador) What do i know about Ecuador? Well they own the Galapagos Islands,FA Cup winner Lawrie Sanchez's dad comes from there and i had Christmas dinner with a USA citizen born in Ecuador...so quite a lot really. They have four Barca players in the squad so maybe they're not that bad.They may even get through at the expense of Switzerland...
Group F) (The group of constant sorrow)
Argentina) With soaring inflation rates in Argentina the locals need something to distract them and what better than football? My favourites to win the world cup,which if they do so on Brazilian soil will be the ultimate party pooping.After the mental reign of Maradona---a sort of Kevin Keegan on speed---the Argentinian's now have a manager in Sabella who know's what he's doing.They have strength throughout the entire squad and i expect them to be holding the cup aloft in Rio on July 13th.Obviously all eyes will be on Messi but i think keeping Sergio Aguero fit is more important to the team.Expect lots of mentions of the Falklands when Argentinians are interviewed by British press...
Bosnia Herzegovina) The only country that sounds like a Czech supermodel.Unfortunately that's where the joking stops for this country with a horrible recent past.If you Google Bosnia the first page that comes up is "Genocide" But football knows no political bias,if you're good enough to qualify then you're in and Bosnia are mighty good enough to play in their first world cup as an independent country.Watch out for star striker Edin Dzeko who's in form and his goals could get them out of the group.Expect the word "Plucky" to be used a lot...
Iran) See what i mean about football knowing no political bias? Iran are the West's bogey man even above North Korea---who're treated as a bit of a jokey rogue nation---so expect lots of in depth analysis of Iranian political nuances from Robbie Savage & Andy Townsend.Shame there won't be a repeat of the brilliant Iran v USA game from France 1998.Expect no mentions of Iran being "Plucky" from the press but plenty mentions of WMD...
Nigeria) At one time Nigeria were going to be the African country that took world football by storm---there have been a few contenders over the years---it never happened but maybe this year they could make their mark.Actually have an African manager in charge rather than an imported German/Dutch boss.Stephen Keshi has gone for a young speedy squad of players.Don't expect much talk of crippling poverty,corruption and Boko Haram but much talk of flying Eagles...
Group G) (The group of death)
Germany) We all know about Germany's record in the world cup.However it's been 24 years since they last won it which is almost approaching English proportions,especially ironic as the German fans have adopted the unofficial English anthem "Three Lions" as their own...They probably won't win this one either but the old cliche about never writing Germany off still holds true.On a personal note i would quite like them to do well as i have a lot of respect for the "old country"---as all Anglo Saxons should refer to Germany---especially for their football.They have some outstanding players but one that may make a name for himself is Dortmund's Marco Reus.Keep a look out for him...Expect to see lots of Lederhosen,lager,busty serving girls in Dirndl's and tiresome WW2 references in the British press...
Portugal) Surely it can't be long till they're renamed "Ronaldugal" ? There has'nt been a top team so reliant on one player since Maradona pulled twenty two other Argentinians in his wake to win the world cup in 1986 and it's not beyond the realms of possibility that Ronaldo will do the same providing A) he retains his form & B) is'nt kicked from pillar to post by opponents.Expect to see lots and lots of Christiano Ronaldo.Don't expect to see anything at all of his teamates...
Ghana) Should have been in the semi final last time but a missed penalty late on by ex Sunderland player Asamoah Gyan pooped on their chance from a great height. Many blame Luis Suarez for his goal line handball denying Ghana the winner but be honest you'd be pleased as punch if he'd done it for your team...
Can Ghana repeat their fantastic run of four years ago? Doubtful.Not that they're not a good team but they are in a tough group.Basically will have to kick seven shades out of Ronaldo to have a chance.Not that i'm advocating such action of course."cough"
USA) USA! USA! USA!...Sorry that's all i got for them.
Group H (The group of heart burn)
Belgium) Everybody's dark horse to win,so infact not a dark horse at all but the brightest horse you'll ever see with flashing lights on.Many of their players are already well known to UK fans as they play over here in the Premiership.They are a young fit team who're on fine form coming into Brazil so have a chance,indeed they are my dark horse...expect sales of Leffe & Hoegaarden beers to shoot up whenever they play and hipsters to be ordering Mayo with their chips...
Algeria) A possible tie with Germany awaits in the next round and they may feel they owe them big after 1982 when Germany and Austria "played" out a result that ensured Algeria did'nt qualify.Have actually got a chance of qualifying out of the group this time unless Russia annexe Belgium in the next three weeks to ensure their own passage.Former Wolves midfielder Adlene Guedioura has made the provisional 30 man squad.If picked watch out for him as he shoots from anywhere within 50 yards of goal...
Russia) Currently trying to merge all of the former Soviet Union into one big Russian federation.They are going to be the team everyone wants to see hammered owing to them having a dick as a president.Historically the USSR/Russia have flattered to deceive on the international stage and things won't change in Brazil even if they draft in the better Ukraine players into their squad.The one joy will be hearing their heart stirring national anthem three times...
South Korea) Had their moment in the sun when they co-hosted with Japan in 2002 reaching the semi finals backed by a fervent crowd and some helpful decisions.That won't be happening here.Hard to dislike---unless you're in North Korea,in which case i doubt you're reading this.
Whoever your team is have a wonderful world cup...
Sunday 18 May 2014
Saturday 17 May 2014
Brazilian back, sack & crack.It's a World Cup preview(prt1)
The World Cup begins in three weeks---god it seems like only four years since the last one----This time instead of trying to hide the Townships in South Africa the relevant authorities will be consumed with attempting to hide the Favelas from the gaze of moneyed football tourists.A far more difficult task as at least the Apartheid regime in SA had the common decency to locate their unwanted population far from view...There has already been internal strife in Cities hosting games due to ungrateful locals wanting money spent on such piffling things like decent food and shelter rather than the sheer joy of seeing Greece taking on Japan in their backyard...Expect some good old fashioned South American junta like clampdown in the coming weeks...
Anyway,welcome to the greatest show on earth!
Group A (The group of apparent rude health)
Brazil) The hosts and quite probably the favourites.Not mine though.Frankly i have'nt taken to any Brazilian side since the heady days of the Socrates inspired 1982 team and the rightly feted 1970 mob.Still they seem popular with many so who am i to argue? Expect to hear lots of drums and see cameramen picking out beautiful women with alarming regularity--why it's almost as if they're planted there deliberately---also expect to see "Big Phil" scowl and Neymar fall down.A lot...
Croatia) Always capable of greatness but equally of crass stupidity.If things are'nt going their way expect to see not only toys being thrown out of the pram but the pram also destroyed from within(Clumsy political analogy klaxon) They will probably qualify with Brazil but i'm hoping they don't and not just because of their awful red & white checkered shirts.If they manage to bring a lot of fans you will get a taste of their strident nationalism...
Mexico) Not a happy ship apparently.Have got through three managers during the qualifiers alone.At that rate Greg Dyke will be fast tracking them into the Premiership asap.Sneaked into 4th place just above Panama.A shadow of their former selves.Mexicans love their football and hopefully they'll bring loads of fans.They'd best get there quick though as they'll only see them in three games.
Cameroon) Remember when Cameroon announced themselves on the world stage in Italia 1990 with a triple neck high assault on Argentina's coke fiend and occasional footballer Claudio Caniggia ? They also beat the then reigning world champions in the biggest world cup shock since Willie Johnstone was sent home in 1978 with his jagged little pill.Should have been the first African team to reach the semi final that year but fell foul of Gary Lineker's trailing leg in the penalty area,twice.Samuel Eto' is still their star player so unfortunately don't expect much from them.Hope i'm wrong...
Group B) (The group of feeling a bit peaky)
Spain) Current world champions after beating a testosterone fueled Holland in the 2010 final.Will be one of the favourites again by right but i can't deny i have a problem with Spain.They are a fine team with some of the greatest players on the planet yet if they don't score early there does'nt appear to be a plan B.They camp outside the opponents penalty area playing their training ground tippy tappy stuff until everyone gets bored,turns over to Eastenders and loses the will to live.On reflection maybe it's the opponents that make their games deadly dull.After all it's not really Spain's fault they're so good at keeping the ball but seeing game after game with 80% to 20% possession is not fun to watch.Look out for outrageous harassment of the officials,as if the dice was'nt loaded in their favour enough...
Holland) Nearly everyone's second favourite team---well mine anyway---Losing finalists three times and i would love to see them win the damn thing one day.Normally we hear of internal rows and splits between groups of players but this time it's been quiet.Too quiet.Not sure the world can cope with a Dutch dressing room full of love & harmony.It would be a bit like seeing your local church full of Hell's Angels.Watch out for their fans all dressed in the brightest orange and Arjen Robben's spectacular triple reverse pike half twist somersault & tuck...
Chile) They were probably my favourite team at the last world cup.Combined fast flowing attacking football with the sort of tackling that a division nine pub team would be a bit ashamed of.I don't see why this time will be any different.If they're on song may well qualify out of the group at the expense of either Spain or Holland.
Australia) A few years ago it looked as if the Aussies would become a force,of sorts,on the world stage and all of England shuddered at the prospect.They can have the Cricket & Rugby but football? No way!Glad to say they will be the whipping boys of this group.That may seem unduly cruel but if you're a bitter little Englander like me you'll fully understand where i'm coming from.Will set up good barbies on the beach though...
Group C(The group of dearth)
Colombia) Ask anyone about Colombian football and most will only know about drug cartels and the sad murder of Andres Escobar after his own goal in the 1994 world cup.I have to admit my knowledge is fairly limited too.However they qualified in 2nd place only two points behind Argentina so they seem to be in good shape.Unfortunately don't expect to see any Carlos Valderramaesque hairstyles among the players although some wigs may be evident in the stands...
Greece) 2004 European Championship.Greece were 80/1 outsiders but in a series of games where they parked a fleet of double decker buses defensively then relied on a set piece goal they only went and won the thing. A tour de force of football pragmatism.It was a Jose Mourinho wet dream...This time they have no chance.I doubt if they'll even score a goal.Their star player is Kostas Mitroglou who has just been relegated with Fulham having proved himself less mobile than the statue of Michael Jackson that stood outside Craven Cottage...
Ivory Coast) Possibly the most talented side in sub Saharan Africa and i expect them to qualify out of this poor group.Any team with the majestic Yaya Toure in central midfield must have a chance of doing well.With a fair wind could make the quarter finals...expect pedantic football hipsters insisting on calling them Cote D'ivoire...
Japan) Have qualified for the last five world cups and have many players plying their trade in the top European leagues so may have a chance of springing a surprise or two.Always regarded as a bit of a novelty act in the world of football but have some skill.Look out for their mascot Pikachu.The most Japanese mascot you could ever imagine...
Group D(The group of near death experience)
Uruguay) That a country of 3 million can produce constantly decent teams is an outstanding achievement.We all know about Luis Suarez in England but we still don't know how to stop the bugger.I'm sure he will relish playing against us as will Diego Forlan who will feel he has something to prove having been regarded as a failure in the UK---Unfairly in my view---Even though they struggled to qualify they're a dangerous outfit and tough as old boots.
Italy) What will Italy do? They will do what they always do.Piss about in the group stage just doing enough to qualify then probably go on to win the bloody thing.They still have Buffon in goal who must be as old as Methuselah's dad by now.Everyone will be keeping a sharp eye on the maverick Mario Balotelli in the hope of him doing something outrageously stupid.I have a feeling he won't disappoint...
Costa Rica) Will they do to England what they did to Scotland many moons ago? I for one hope not but it's not inconceivable.Knowing how the football gods work an Arsenal lad with the Scottish name of Campbell may knock us out.Could play a big part in the group by determining who goes through on goal difference...
England) For the first time in living memory the English press are playing down expectations that this will be our time to win the World Cup.Ironically this lack of hype has convinced some fans that because the pressure's off then we could actually win it,er don't believe the lack of hype people! The fundamental problem with English football is giving the ball away too cheaply.In this respect they're the exact opposite to Spain.Personally i don't think we'll get out of the group but if we do then the usual quarter final place could be our lot...Expect lots of damming stories in the good old English press & a Twitter meltdown when an England game is on...
Part 2 tomorrow...
Anyway,welcome to the greatest show on earth!
Group A (The group of apparent rude health)
Brazil) The hosts and quite probably the favourites.Not mine though.Frankly i have'nt taken to any Brazilian side since the heady days of the Socrates inspired 1982 team and the rightly feted 1970 mob.Still they seem popular with many so who am i to argue? Expect to hear lots of drums and see cameramen picking out beautiful women with alarming regularity--why it's almost as if they're planted there deliberately---also expect to see "Big Phil" scowl and Neymar fall down.A lot...
Croatia) Always capable of greatness but equally of crass stupidity.If things are'nt going their way expect to see not only toys being thrown out of the pram but the pram also destroyed from within(Clumsy political analogy klaxon) They will probably qualify with Brazil but i'm hoping they don't and not just because of their awful red & white checkered shirts.If they manage to bring a lot of fans you will get a taste of their strident nationalism...
Mexico) Not a happy ship apparently.Have got through three managers during the qualifiers alone.At that rate Greg Dyke will be fast tracking them into the Premiership asap.Sneaked into 4th place just above Panama.A shadow of their former selves.Mexicans love their football and hopefully they'll bring loads of fans.They'd best get there quick though as they'll only see them in three games.
Cameroon) Remember when Cameroon announced themselves on the world stage in Italia 1990 with a triple neck high assault on Argentina's coke fiend and occasional footballer Claudio Caniggia ? They also beat the then reigning world champions in the biggest world cup shock since Willie Johnstone was sent home in 1978 with his jagged little pill.Should have been the first African team to reach the semi final that year but fell foul of Gary Lineker's trailing leg in the penalty area,twice.Samuel Eto' is still their star player so unfortunately don't expect much from them.Hope i'm wrong...
Group B) (The group of feeling a bit peaky)
Spain) Current world champions after beating a testosterone fueled Holland in the 2010 final.Will be one of the favourites again by right but i can't deny i have a problem with Spain.They are a fine team with some of the greatest players on the planet yet if they don't score early there does'nt appear to be a plan B.They camp outside the opponents penalty area playing their training ground tippy tappy stuff until everyone gets bored,turns over to Eastenders and loses the will to live.On reflection maybe it's the opponents that make their games deadly dull.After all it's not really Spain's fault they're so good at keeping the ball but seeing game after game with 80% to 20% possession is not fun to watch.Look out for outrageous harassment of the officials,as if the dice was'nt loaded in their favour enough...
Holland) Nearly everyone's second favourite team---well mine anyway---Losing finalists three times and i would love to see them win the damn thing one day.Normally we hear of internal rows and splits between groups of players but this time it's been quiet.Too quiet.Not sure the world can cope with a Dutch dressing room full of love & harmony.It would be a bit like seeing your local church full of Hell's Angels.Watch out for their fans all dressed in the brightest orange and Arjen Robben's spectacular triple reverse pike half twist somersault & tuck...
Chile) They were probably my favourite team at the last world cup.Combined fast flowing attacking football with the sort of tackling that a division nine pub team would be a bit ashamed of.I don't see why this time will be any different.If they're on song may well qualify out of the group at the expense of either Spain or Holland.
Australia) A few years ago it looked as if the Aussies would become a force,of sorts,on the world stage and all of England shuddered at the prospect.They can have the Cricket & Rugby but football? No way!Glad to say they will be the whipping boys of this group.That may seem unduly cruel but if you're a bitter little Englander like me you'll fully understand where i'm coming from.Will set up good barbies on the beach though...
Group C(The group of dearth)
Colombia) Ask anyone about Colombian football and most will only know about drug cartels and the sad murder of Andres Escobar after his own goal in the 1994 world cup.I have to admit my knowledge is fairly limited too.However they qualified in 2nd place only two points behind Argentina so they seem to be in good shape.Unfortunately don't expect to see any Carlos Valderramaesque hairstyles among the players although some wigs may be evident in the stands...
Greece) 2004 European Championship.Greece were 80/1 outsiders but in a series of games where they parked a fleet of double decker buses defensively then relied on a set piece goal they only went and won the thing. A tour de force of football pragmatism.It was a Jose Mourinho wet dream...This time they have no chance.I doubt if they'll even score a goal.Their star player is Kostas Mitroglou who has just been relegated with Fulham having proved himself less mobile than the statue of Michael Jackson that stood outside Craven Cottage...
Ivory Coast) Possibly the most talented side in sub Saharan Africa and i expect them to qualify out of this poor group.Any team with the majestic Yaya Toure in central midfield must have a chance of doing well.With a fair wind could make the quarter finals...expect pedantic football hipsters insisting on calling them Cote D'ivoire...
Japan) Have qualified for the last five world cups and have many players plying their trade in the top European leagues so may have a chance of springing a surprise or two.Always regarded as a bit of a novelty act in the world of football but have some skill.Look out for their mascot Pikachu.The most Japanese mascot you could ever imagine...
Group D(The group of near death experience)
Uruguay) That a country of 3 million can produce constantly decent teams is an outstanding achievement.We all know about Luis Suarez in England but we still don't know how to stop the bugger.I'm sure he will relish playing against us as will Diego Forlan who will feel he has something to prove having been regarded as a failure in the UK---Unfairly in my view---Even though they struggled to qualify they're a dangerous outfit and tough as old boots.
Italy) What will Italy do? They will do what they always do.Piss about in the group stage just doing enough to qualify then probably go on to win the bloody thing.They still have Buffon in goal who must be as old as Methuselah's dad by now.Everyone will be keeping a sharp eye on the maverick Mario Balotelli in the hope of him doing something outrageously stupid.I have a feeling he won't disappoint...
Costa Rica) Will they do to England what they did to Scotland many moons ago? I for one hope not but it's not inconceivable.Knowing how the football gods work an Arsenal lad with the Scottish name of Campbell may knock us out.Could play a big part in the group by determining who goes through on goal difference...
England) For the first time in living memory the English press are playing down expectations that this will be our time to win the World Cup.Ironically this lack of hype has convinced some fans that because the pressure's off then we could actually win it,er don't believe the lack of hype people! The fundamental problem with English football is giving the ball away too cheaply.In this respect they're the exact opposite to Spain.Personally i don't think we'll get out of the group but if we do then the usual quarter final place could be our lot...Expect lots of damming stories in the good old English press & a Twitter meltdown when an England game is on...
Part 2 tomorrow...
Tuesday 13 May 2014
End of season awards...
Now that the football season is over----apart from the play offs---it's time to dish out the awards.
Here goes (In no particular order)
The Neville Chamberlain I have a piece of paper inspirational oratory award to Stevie "G" Gerrard for his "We won't let this slip" speech to his teamates before letting it slip...
The Baldrick i have a cunning plan award to Greg Dyke for his Plan B.
The il Duce proving ,if proof were needed, Fascism does'nt work award to Paolo di Canio for his laughable tenure at Sunderland.
The Barnacle Bill how the hell do you get rid of these things award shared by Alex Ferguson and Sepp Blatter(who has announced he's standing for a 5th time as FIFA president)
The Twitter #Hashtag award to Arsene Wenger for hanging around as Arsenal manager for the only reason that it pisses Piers Morgan off no end.
Goal of the season(Sorry Premiership fans but it comes from this weekends div 1 play off game between Preston and Rotherham.Take a bow Joe Garner)
Manager of the season.Shared between Pulis at Palace and Poyet at Sunderland.Both teams looked dead and buried during the season but these two did the unthinkable and kept them up.
Player of the season. Yaya Toure.Basically won the title for Man City...
The Harry Redknapp getting away with it award to Harry Redknapp(again)
The Kenneth Williams Infamy infamy they've all got it infamy award to Jose Mourinho for his ridiculous faux paranoia.
The Jim Reeves Welcome to my world award to all Man Utd fans who now know what it's like being a common all garden football fan...
The Aretha Franklin R.E.S.P.E.C.T award to both Mourinho & Pardew for their unstinting support towards the FA directive...
The Big Sam back to the future neck brace award to Big Sam(Grass? when we play we don't need grass)
The Lenny Henry you're just not funny anymore award to Man City for becoming far too professional.We want the pratfalls back!
The Lazarus back from the dead award to Wolves.It's a miracle i tells ya!
Fans of the season award to Wolves for backing their moribund club from the start of the season and getting their reward.(Honourable mention to Crystal Palace fans)
Game of the season.Wolves 6 Rotherham 4
The Monty Python One day son all this will be yours award to David Moyes
The hotbed of football award to the West Midlands where the most successful club was in div 1 (Guess who?)
The Simon Cowell one hit wonders award to Cardiff City.Was it worth it Vincent?
Premiership managers signing on the dole this season; Malky Makay,Ian Holloway,David Moyes,Chris Hughton,Martin Jol,Paolo di Canio,Brian Laudrup,Villas Boa,Tim Sherwood,Steve Clarke and Pepe Mel...Bloody benefit scroungers...
Finally congratulations to Kenny Jackett and all at Wolves for giving us fans back our club.We have our pride back...
Here goes (In no particular order)
The Neville Chamberlain I have a piece of paper inspirational oratory award to Stevie "G" Gerrard for his "We won't let this slip" speech to his teamates before letting it slip...
The Baldrick i have a cunning plan award to Greg Dyke for his Plan B.
The il Duce proving ,if proof were needed, Fascism does'nt work award to Paolo di Canio for his laughable tenure at Sunderland.
The Barnacle Bill how the hell do you get rid of these things award shared by Alex Ferguson and Sepp Blatter(who has announced he's standing for a 5th time as FIFA president)
The Twitter #Hashtag award to Arsene Wenger for hanging around as Arsenal manager for the only reason that it pisses Piers Morgan off no end.
Goal of the season(Sorry Premiership fans but it comes from this weekends div 1 play off game between Preston and Rotherham.Take a bow Joe Garner)
Manager of the season.Shared between Pulis at Palace and Poyet at Sunderland.Both teams looked dead and buried during the season but these two did the unthinkable and kept them up.
Player of the season. Yaya Toure.Basically won the title for Man City...
The Harry Redknapp getting away with it award to Harry Redknapp(again)
The Kenneth Williams Infamy infamy they've all got it infamy award to Jose Mourinho for his ridiculous faux paranoia.
The Jim Reeves Welcome to my world award to all Man Utd fans who now know what it's like being a common all garden football fan...
The Aretha Franklin R.E.S.P.E.C.T award to both Mourinho & Pardew for their unstinting support towards the FA directive...
The Big Sam back to the future neck brace award to Big Sam(Grass? when we play we don't need grass)
The Lenny Henry you're just not funny anymore award to Man City for becoming far too professional.We want the pratfalls back!
The Lazarus back from the dead award to Wolves.It's a miracle i tells ya!
Fans of the season award to Wolves for backing their moribund club from the start of the season and getting their reward.(Honourable mention to Crystal Palace fans)
Game of the season.Wolves 6 Rotherham 4
The Monty Python One day son all this will be yours award to David Moyes
The hotbed of football award to the West Midlands where the most successful club was in div 1 (Guess who?)
The Simon Cowell one hit wonders award to Cardiff City.Was it worth it Vincent?
Premiership managers signing on the dole this season; Malky Makay,Ian Holloway,David Moyes,Chris Hughton,Martin Jol,Paolo di Canio,Brian Laudrup,Villas Boa,Tim Sherwood,Steve Clarke and Pepe Mel...Bloody benefit scroungers...
Finally congratulations to Kenny Jackett and all at Wolves for giving us fans back our club.We have our pride back...
Saturday 26 April 2014
Goodbye League 1.It's been great...
Nobody really knew what to expect from Wolves at the beginning of this season down in the depths of Division One.Although the bookies had made us favourites to go up, after two torrid years lurching from crisis to crisis both on and off the pitch many Wolves fans laughed at the bookies apparent lack of knowledge regarding our club...Most fans realistically thought grabbing a play off place would be a fantastic showing...
There was also a big worry about how the fans would react to the last two seasons of our club becoming a laughing stock in the football world.Would we abandon the club which appeared to be on a downward spiral of our own making-----Indeed we had become a byword for how not to run a football club.Any club in the mire were warned against "doing a Wolves"----The split between Wolverhampton Wanderers Ltd and their fans seemed irreversible.It needed the club to put forward a complete root & branch change in the way it went about it's business both on and off the pitch to begin to win the trust of the fans back...
Whoever advised Wolves to employ Kenny Jackett as the new boss deserves a medal---I'm guessing it was Kevin Thelwell,Head of Football development & recruitment---He came to the club in the full knowledge of what had gone and what was expected in the future.He arrived in the summer with quiet determination to get things going in the right direction.Making it clear that Wolves were what was important not himself.Many new managers would have ridden in on a wave of self publicity and rampant ego but KJ saw the big picture.
The club had mooted that it had wanted to change the style of play associated with it historically to a more controlled passing game long before KJ arrived.Stale Stollbaken had tried to implement the change but it would appear player power went against him as those in the dressing room either would'nt,or could'nt,alter their style of play.When Dean Saunders replaced him this was abandoned when everyone finally woke up to the fact that we were in grave danger of successive relegations.It's doubtful that DS could have overseen a complete overhaul of club playing ethos.He barely seemed to know what was happening at any given time on the pitch anyway...
So KJ was charged with dispensing with the deadwood on the playing side,promote players from the youth academy to the first team,buy in the sort of player who could play the required way,stop the seemingly inexorable slide down the divisions and reconnect the fans with the club.Phew...Easy!
That first game away to a strong Preston would be the acid test of whether the fans had bought into all this.The fact that nearly five thousand fans took the trip to Deepdale to support the team is testament to both how quickly KJ had won us over and also our fortitude in the face of overwhelming evidence against parting with our hard earned cash...It really was the triumph of hope over experience.
In truth the first few months were a bit of a mish mash.We showed glimpses of the style KJ was trying to implement but with virtually a whole new team these things take time,however we were still getting results even when maybe we were fortunate to do so.A sign of a good team they say...As is the way of these things the possessive quick passing game yearned for finally clicked into place during our worst spell of the season results wise but despite Wolves fans reputation of having the patience of a 5 year old on Christmas Eve we stayed with it as we could see progress was being made.
For me the turning point of the season was when KJ---Who's clearly not afraid to make tough decisions---got rid of Hennessey & leading scorer Griffiths, along with record signing Doyle out on loan and bought in Dicko. It takes a brave manager to get rid of his top scorer halfway through the season.After all it could go horribly wrong,the replacement may not fit in and that's basically half a season wasted...Luckily it did'nt go wrong.Dicko hit the ground running,grabbing two goals on his debut and he has'nt looked back since...
Dicko is a better all round player than Griffiths.I'd also say he's a better goalscorer and ---maybe crucially---does'nt carry the evident self destruct button and baggage Griffiths appears to have.Last, but not least, it's also cleared in KJ's mind what formation to play rather than chop and change up front weekly in an effort to find the right combo in attack...
After that mid-season blip we have gone on a run of winning 15 games out of 18 which has propelled us to the title.If anyone looks at the table without any prior knowledge of the season it looks like we've had it easy but in truth it's been anything but...Us,Brentford and Leyton Orient have been jockeying for position in the top 3 all season long.It's only over the last few weeks we've pulled away and dominated.
It's been a wonderful season.Wolves have been playing some of the most enjoyable football i have ever seen them produce.Some teams play the possession game to no purpose---Think Wolves under Glen Hoddle---and it's as dull as ditchwater.Under KJ our game is based on quick pass & move with an eye to the fast controlled break out the back.When it comes off it can be scintillating.I'm impressed with the way we play from the defence when under pressure.No more just lumping the ball out only to lose possession straight away.Now we try to find a teamate to hopefully set up an attack.This approach not only means the opponents have to be wary of committing too many players forward but also if they do we can usually create a goalscoring chance ourselves...
It's been a defining season off the pitch too.The season Wolves fans fell back in love with their club.The support has been nothing short of phenomenal both home and away.The average home attendance is over 20,000 with over 30,000 turning up for an extraordinary 6-4 win over Rotherham last week---The highest gate at Molineux since the early 80's---We have sold out our away ticket allocation at nearly every game.Apparently Wolves fans are responsible for almost 20% of all division one attendances combined.League one may not miss us but they'll miss the money we've generated...
Much has been made about the parachute payments we're getting---And will continue to do so next season---This is due to spending three years in the Premiership.Whether you agree with the PP system is immaterial.It's there, and for the foreseeable future will continue to be so.Were we supposed to decline it because we found ourselves in league one? Would any other club? No.
We never bought any players out of the PP.Any players bought were done so from selling players unwanted or shipping them out on loan.Yes we've had an unfair advantage with being able to afford the day to day running of the club but there's nothing illegal going on here even though according to some of our opponents the PP makes us a cross between Judas and the Devil incarnate...
With two games to go hopefully we can beat the previous points record in this division and then look forward to next season.I believe we can get into a top ten place next term without too many drastic changes to the squad.Maybe even fight for a play off place....As for this season i've loved the football,loved the winning,loved seeing home grown players in the team,loved the prices of tickets,loved the atmosphere,loved being a Wolves fan again...
Goodbye League 1.It's been great...
In truth the first few months were a bit of a mish mash.We showed glimpses of the style KJ was trying to implement but with virtually a whole new team these things take time,however we were still getting results even when maybe we were fortunate to do so.A sign of a good team they say...As is the way of these things the possessive quick passing game yearned for finally clicked into place during our worst spell of the season results wise but despite Wolves fans reputation of having the patience of a 5 year old on Christmas Eve we stayed with it as we could see progress was being made.
For me the turning point of the season was when KJ---Who's clearly not afraid to make tough decisions---got rid of Hennessey & leading scorer Griffiths, along with record signing Doyle out on loan and bought in Dicko. It takes a brave manager to get rid of his top scorer halfway through the season.After all it could go horribly wrong,the replacement may not fit in and that's basically half a season wasted...Luckily it did'nt go wrong.Dicko hit the ground running,grabbing two goals on his debut and he has'nt looked back since...
Dicko is a better all round player than Griffiths.I'd also say he's a better goalscorer and ---maybe crucially---does'nt carry the evident self destruct button and baggage Griffiths appears to have.Last, but not least, it's also cleared in KJ's mind what formation to play rather than chop and change up front weekly in an effort to find the right combo in attack...
After that mid-season blip we have gone on a run of winning 15 games out of 18 which has propelled us to the title.If anyone looks at the table without any prior knowledge of the season it looks like we've had it easy but in truth it's been anything but...Us,Brentford and Leyton Orient have been jockeying for position in the top 3 all season long.It's only over the last few weeks we've pulled away and dominated.
It's been a wonderful season.Wolves have been playing some of the most enjoyable football i have ever seen them produce.Some teams play the possession game to no purpose---Think Wolves under Glen Hoddle---and it's as dull as ditchwater.Under KJ our game is based on quick pass & move with an eye to the fast controlled break out the back.When it comes off it can be scintillating.I'm impressed with the way we play from the defence when under pressure.No more just lumping the ball out only to lose possession straight away.Now we try to find a teamate to hopefully set up an attack.This approach not only means the opponents have to be wary of committing too many players forward but also if they do we can usually create a goalscoring chance ourselves...
It's been a defining season off the pitch too.The season Wolves fans fell back in love with their club.The support has been nothing short of phenomenal both home and away.The average home attendance is over 20,000 with over 30,000 turning up for an extraordinary 6-4 win over Rotherham last week---The highest gate at Molineux since the early 80's---We have sold out our away ticket allocation at nearly every game.Apparently Wolves fans are responsible for almost 20% of all division one attendances combined.League one may not miss us but they'll miss the money we've generated...
Much has been made about the parachute payments we're getting---And will continue to do so next season---This is due to spending three years in the Premiership.Whether you agree with the PP system is immaterial.It's there, and for the foreseeable future will continue to be so.Were we supposed to decline it because we found ourselves in league one? Would any other club? No.
We never bought any players out of the PP.Any players bought were done so from selling players unwanted or shipping them out on loan.Yes we've had an unfair advantage with being able to afford the day to day running of the club but there's nothing illegal going on here even though according to some of our opponents the PP makes us a cross between Judas and the Devil incarnate...
With two games to go hopefully we can beat the previous points record in this division and then look forward to next season.I believe we can get into a top ten place next term without too many drastic changes to the squad.Maybe even fight for a play off place....As for this season i've loved the football,loved the winning,loved seeing home grown players in the team,loved the prices of tickets,loved the atmosphere,loved being a Wolves fan again...
Goodbye League 1.It's been great...
Tuesday 22 April 2014
Easter Monday at the Orient.Wolves resurrection continues...
On a hot Easter Monday at 10am what else is there to do but sit in an Olympic Stratford boozer as a prelude to a much anticipated game at Leyton Orient?
Unfortunately the only one we could find was a Wetherspoons.They have long been my least favourite pub chain and they confirmed my zealously held belief that they're a pox on this fine land by restricting us to two drinks maximum because one of our company was with his 13 year old son and we were informed in the idiom of the humourless that we were being "Monitored"
Don't worry Wetherspoons i will not be venturing into one of your establishments in future.The nation's moral fibre will never be tested again thanks to your unending vigilance...
A quick taxi to High Road Leyton where it seemed like a home game transplanted to East London.All we saw were Wolves fans milling about, and into Brisbane Road a good half hour before the game.As there was no booze sold to Wolves fans the smell of Bovril hung about the place.It's been quite a while since i have been in this ground and the O's have had some major work done to it,apart from the East Stand where we were of course.To call it "Old School" would be a massive disservice to that hoary old cliche.The East Stand is practically Biblical---and i'm talking Old Testament here---In one way it's good that football can still be watched in these ancient edifices to act as a reminder of where the game came from in these days of corporate hegemony.On the other hand the phrase "Health & Safety" was never far from my mind...
The opening 35 minutes were pretty predictable.Wolves grabbed a two goal lead without breaking into much of a sweat and it seemed the rest of the game would be a stroll in the Springtime sunshine but then Leyton Orient woke up and started to pile on the pressure---To be fair at 1-0 the O's had a stonewall penalty appeal turned down---This continued after half time and the O's pulled one goal back quite early.It was game on but thanks to some brilliant saves from Carl Ikeme----"He looks like Matt Murray,without the dodgy knee"----and some desperate defending we kept the score down to 2-1.With Orient attacking they'd always leave space behind them to exploit and James Henry took advantage with a cracking 30yarder in the last minute to give a slightly lop-sided 3-1 scoreline to Wolves.
To all intents and purposes we had become Champions but with Brentford playing later on in the day it had to be officially confirmed.Luckily we were invited into the well appointed Leyton Orient supporters club bar---after a few pints in the local flea pit called the Coach & Horses---and we were confirmed as title winners at about 4-55pm after Brentford could only draw.There was probably about eight Wolves fans there to witness this momentous occasion but i'm sure news spread rapidly among the fans scattered around East London or nearing home...
A great day all round.Many thanks to the warm welcome afforded to us from the Leyton Orient fans.It was much appreciated and i'm sure all Wolves fans wish them all the best for the upcoming play offs...Meanwhile.
..We are CHAMPIONS!
Unfortunately the only one we could find was a Wetherspoons.They have long been my least favourite pub chain and they confirmed my zealously held belief that they're a pox on this fine land by restricting us to two drinks maximum because one of our company was with his 13 year old son and we were informed in the idiom of the humourless that we were being "Monitored"
Don't worry Wetherspoons i will not be venturing into one of your establishments in future.The nation's moral fibre will never be tested again thanks to your unending vigilance...
A quick taxi to High Road Leyton where it seemed like a home game transplanted to East London.All we saw were Wolves fans milling about, and into Brisbane Road a good half hour before the game.As there was no booze sold to Wolves fans the smell of Bovril hung about the place.It's been quite a while since i have been in this ground and the O's have had some major work done to it,apart from the East Stand where we were of course.To call it "Old School" would be a massive disservice to that hoary old cliche.The East Stand is practically Biblical---and i'm talking Old Testament here---In one way it's good that football can still be watched in these ancient edifices to act as a reminder of where the game came from in these days of corporate hegemony.On the other hand the phrase "Health & Safety" was never far from my mind...
The opening 35 minutes were pretty predictable.Wolves grabbed a two goal lead without breaking into much of a sweat and it seemed the rest of the game would be a stroll in the Springtime sunshine but then Leyton Orient woke up and started to pile on the pressure---To be fair at 1-0 the O's had a stonewall penalty appeal turned down---This continued after half time and the O's pulled one goal back quite early.It was game on but thanks to some brilliant saves from Carl Ikeme----"He looks like Matt Murray,without the dodgy knee"----and some desperate defending we kept the score down to 2-1.With Orient attacking they'd always leave space behind them to exploit and James Henry took advantage with a cracking 30yarder in the last minute to give a slightly lop-sided 3-1 scoreline to Wolves.
To all intents and purposes we had become Champions but with Brentford playing later on in the day it had to be officially confirmed.Luckily we were invited into the well appointed Leyton Orient supporters club bar---after a few pints in the local flea pit called the Coach & Horses---and we were confirmed as title winners at about 4-55pm after Brentford could only draw.There was probably about eight Wolves fans there to witness this momentous occasion but i'm sure news spread rapidly among the fans scattered around East London or nearing home...
A great day all round.Many thanks to the warm welcome afforded to us from the Leyton Orient fans.It was much appreciated and i'm sure all Wolves fans wish them all the best for the upcoming play offs...Meanwhile.
..We are CHAMPIONS!
Friday 21 March 2014
Football: 5 things i hate about you...
We all have our bugbears about things,especially the things we love and football is no exception.Infact when you listen to some people it would seem those that profess to love the game also hate it with equal measure.Sport can have that effect on people,football more so as it's such an emotional and tribal affair...
I'm not thinking about the big things in football that rankle like corruption or rapacious megalomaniac owners etc.Anyone with a hint of humanity and love of the game hate these things.What i'm talking about is the little things that really should'nt get me riled but they do...
The 5 things i hate about football(in no particular order)
1) Goal nets: When,and by whom,was it decided to install those crappy little shallow box nets that blight the most important item on the football pitch? Half the time you're not even sure if a goal's been scored or not as the ball has already bounced halfway to the centre circle after hitting the back of the net.Young fans today will never witness the pleasure of those billowing deep nets that rippled like velvet curtains as the ball nestled in the bottom corner and the goalkeeper had to perform back bending gymnastics to retrieve the ball from the net's deepest recess...
Look at those beautiful nets. Proper onion bags!
2)Badge kissing: You know the scenario.Player rumoured to be unhappy at the club and itching to move on to bolster his bank account aided by an agent right out of the Machiavellian charm school scores a goal and proceeds to run towards embittered fans furiously kissing his badge like he was on a date with Holly Willoughby.The fans of course go mental because their team have scored,it's not out of love for their want-away player who they know deep down is a little shit,it's out of love for their team scoring...Player thinks he has redemption.Player moves to bitter rivals a week later...
Say no more...
3)Goal music: I don't know anyone who likes this abomination that's crept into our game over the last few years.I don't mind the pre match tunes at all----although sometimes the choice of music is baffling---it all helps to build the atmosphere.However anything coming from the PA announcer during the game other than names of goalscorers, substitutes,injury time left and the occasional call for a fan to move their car that's blocking the burger van is a complete no no and top of that list is the dreaded goal music...At Wolves we used to play a snatch of James Brown "I feel good" after each Wolves goal.Even today if i hear a bit of that tune i get an involuntary Pavlovian response of wanting to jump all over a stranger shouting "Get in you bastard!"
Thank God we don't bother with that nonsense anymore at Wolves.Goal music is the equivalent of the arms outstretched "TA DA!" moment but invariably the PA is about 30 seconds behind and plays the goal music as the other team kicks off.Anyway we don't need that as the crowd have already provided their own "TA DA!" by going mental.The other thing is that clubs only play this cussed music when their team score,fine you say but incongruously they don't seem to have an inkling of what's happened out on the pitch.Many a time i have witnessed an 89th minute consolation goal by Wolves after being totally outplayed and being three goals down being given the "I feel good" treatment to a crowd who most definitely do not "Feel good".Still the PA has a job to do and he's damn well gonna do it no matter what...
Wolves fans celebrate another goal...
4)Feigning injury: In my line of work one of the hazards is getting bashed on the shin by a heavy wooden box of wine.This has happened on countless occasions and it hurts,by Christ it hurts.My reaction is usually to hop around holding my shin spewing the sort of obscenities that would make Liam Gallagher blush.What i have never done----i can't stress this strongly enough---is fall to the ground clutching my face as if the Alien monster had attached itself to it.Yet professional footballers do this all the time without a hint of shame.
I have seen Smokin' Joe Frazier assault his opponent in the ring with the sort of body punches that would fell an elephant.Did they grab their face and wriggle about the floor like a snake on amphetamine? No,they dropped and stayed still trying to catch their breath...
There's also a relatively new phenomenon of the head "rub" or maybe now know as the "Pardew" Previously known as the "headbutt" whereby the two rutting stags lock foreheads, for, ohhhh at least two seconds, in an attempt to establish who is the alpha male.Unfortunately they tend to look like amorous teenage Eskimos rather than Greek Gods...This also usually ends with one,or both,on the ground.When by some miracle one manages to stay on his feet following this onslaught he's commended by his boss for not dropping like a stone as if he survived a blow to the head from a sledge hammer wielded by Thor himself...I have to admit it takes some chutzpah to think they'll not look bloody silly and still regain their macho image in front of the watching millions.But really players it's time to man up..
Oh i bet that hurt!
Ouch!
The only responsible reaction to such wankery
5)Banter: Or "Bantz" as it's know...Now i love the internet,it allows me to do this for a start for which i'm
very grateful but by God it does'nt half bring out the worst in people too sometimes.This is especially true when it comes to football...If you've ever watched a game streamed onto your laptop and witnessed the comments in the sidebar you'll know what i mean.
Like all so called banter it may start with some gentle micky taking but rapidly descends to "We're great,you're rubbish" nonsense. Or more accurately "The club i support can do no wrong and the club you support are a bunch of f****** C****" Hardly Wildean wit...Infact not even Jim Davidson wit.This my friends is not banter,it's not even playground stuff.It's nothing,just name calling between people who're probably old enough to know better.Banter? My arse!
I'm not thinking about the big things in football that rankle like corruption or rapacious megalomaniac owners etc.Anyone with a hint of humanity and love of the game hate these things.What i'm talking about is the little things that really should'nt get me riled but they do...
The 5 things i hate about football(in no particular order)
1) Goal nets: When,and by whom,was it decided to install those crappy little shallow box nets that blight the most important item on the football pitch? Half the time you're not even sure if a goal's been scored or not as the ball has already bounced halfway to the centre circle after hitting the back of the net.Young fans today will never witness the pleasure of those billowing deep nets that rippled like velvet curtains as the ball nestled in the bottom corner and the goalkeeper had to perform back bending gymnastics to retrieve the ball from the net's deepest recess...
Look at those beautiful nets. Proper onion bags!
2)Badge kissing: You know the scenario.Player rumoured to be unhappy at the club and itching to move on to bolster his bank account aided by an agent right out of the Machiavellian charm school scores a goal and proceeds to run towards embittered fans furiously kissing his badge like he was on a date with Holly Willoughby.The fans of course go mental because their team have scored,it's not out of love for their want-away player who they know deep down is a little shit,it's out of love for their team scoring...Player thinks he has redemption.Player moves to bitter rivals a week later...
Say no more...
3)Goal music: I don't know anyone who likes this abomination that's crept into our game over the last few years.I don't mind the pre match tunes at all----although sometimes the choice of music is baffling---it all helps to build the atmosphere.However anything coming from the PA announcer during the game other than names of goalscorers, substitutes,injury time left and the occasional call for a fan to move their car that's blocking the burger van is a complete no no and top of that list is the dreaded goal music...At Wolves we used to play a snatch of James Brown "I feel good" after each Wolves goal.Even today if i hear a bit of that tune i get an involuntary Pavlovian response of wanting to jump all over a stranger shouting "Get in you bastard!"
Thank God we don't bother with that nonsense anymore at Wolves.Goal music is the equivalent of the arms outstretched "TA DA!" moment but invariably the PA is about 30 seconds behind and plays the goal music as the other team kicks off.Anyway we don't need that as the crowd have already provided their own "TA DA!" by going mental.The other thing is that clubs only play this cussed music when their team score,fine you say but incongruously they don't seem to have an inkling of what's happened out on the pitch.Many a time i have witnessed an 89th minute consolation goal by Wolves after being totally outplayed and being three goals down being given the "I feel good" treatment to a crowd who most definitely do not "Feel good".Still the PA has a job to do and he's damn well gonna do it no matter what...
Wolves fans celebrate another goal...
4)Feigning injury: In my line of work one of the hazards is getting bashed on the shin by a heavy wooden box of wine.This has happened on countless occasions and it hurts,by Christ it hurts.My reaction is usually to hop around holding my shin spewing the sort of obscenities that would make Liam Gallagher blush.What i have never done----i can't stress this strongly enough---is fall to the ground clutching my face as if the Alien monster had attached itself to it.Yet professional footballers do this all the time without a hint of shame.
I have seen Smokin' Joe Frazier assault his opponent in the ring with the sort of body punches that would fell an elephant.Did they grab their face and wriggle about the floor like a snake on amphetamine? No,they dropped and stayed still trying to catch their breath...
There's also a relatively new phenomenon of the head "rub" or maybe now know as the "Pardew" Previously known as the "headbutt" whereby the two rutting stags lock foreheads, for, ohhhh at least two seconds, in an attempt to establish who is the alpha male.Unfortunately they tend to look like amorous teenage Eskimos rather than Greek Gods...This also usually ends with one,or both,on the ground.When by some miracle one manages to stay on his feet following this onslaught he's commended by his boss for not dropping like a stone as if he survived a blow to the head from a sledge hammer wielded by Thor himself...I have to admit it takes some chutzpah to think they'll not look bloody silly and still regain their macho image in front of the watching millions.But really players it's time to man up..
5)Banter: Or "Bantz" as it's know...Now i love the internet,it allows me to do this for a start for which i'm
very grateful but by God it does'nt half bring out the worst in people too sometimes.This is especially true when it comes to football...If you've ever watched a game streamed onto your laptop and witnessed the comments in the sidebar you'll know what i mean.
Like all so called banter it may start with some gentle micky taking but rapidly descends to "We're great,you're rubbish" nonsense. Or more accurately "The club i support can do no wrong and the club you support are a bunch of f****** C****" Hardly Wildean wit...Infact not even Jim Davidson wit.This my friends is not banter,it's not even playground stuff.It's nothing,just name calling between people who're probably old enough to know better.Banter? My arse!
Wednesday 26 February 2014
Manchester United.Running on empty...
The decline in Manchester United's fortunes is causing a lot of consternation among their fans and delight among their opponents. As most of you know i am not a Manchester United supporter,neither am i a Manchester United hater like many football fans are..
However we all like the feeling of schadenfreude the felling of a once mighty behemoth brings.It makes many of us feel better about supporting a club further down the pecking order.The cry from many fans to Man Utd supporters is usually "Now you know how we feel"!
Many think the downward spiral has begun since Alex Ferguson retired at the end of last season but in truth the wheels were coming off before that...
Manchester United are reigning English champions,which on paper should make them a strong outfit but the honest truth is that the Premiership they won was the poorest ever and they were the best of a bad bunch.They were able to get over the line with a combination of a fit Van Persie banging in a lot of goals,Fergies tactical nous and his ability to get every last drop out of his players plus the aura of invincibility that surrounded their name...
Well that aura has well and truly disappeared now and every Tom,Dick,Harry & even West Brom are finding playing them a relatively easy proposition.
So what's happened? Fergie's gone,although he has'nt really.He's still hanging around the place.I don't care what anyone says this can't be healthy for the club.They have made this mistake before when Matt Busby retired but hung about Old Trafford for years overseeing a succession of failed managers until,ironically,Fergie was employed about twenty years later...It's a bit like marrying a divorcee and having her ex living with you.
Fergie never addressed the problem of the centre of midfield.He clearly knew that was where the main problem lay---and still lies---he had to drag Paul Scholes out of his Oldham bolthole and when he was'nt fit enough Fergie played Wayne Rooney in that position.What he did'nt do was buy someone who could run the team from there like Roy Keane did...Basically he left them in the lurch. Whilst all Man Utd's rivals strengthened Fergie seemed to rest on his laurels...or maybe----and more alarmingly for their fans---Man Utd just can't attract the really top players that they used to and their rivals are reaping the benefits.
There's another problem for them too...Their famed youth academy is just not producing the sort of player it used to.They always had a good smattering of classy footballers coming through the ranks but that's dried up over the last few years.With many of the first team players now getting close to,or over,thirty years old---Vidic is leaving,Ferdinand will soon be gone too,maybe Evra too---there does'nt seem to be any ready made replacements waiting in the wings.Again maybe they're just not able to attract the best of the young players like they used to...
Now Van Persie is also making noises about his teamates in the Dutch press(Those Dutch players can't help themselves can they?) No doubt when challenged he'll claim something was lost in translation,Whatever,it does'nt make a happy ship at the moment.
Football,like most sport,usually has a natural cycle.No team stays at the top for ever.I remember when i was young it was unthinkable that Liverpool would go over twenty years without winning the title.They were unbeatable...Only they were'nt.
That's the thing.Every team has to improve all the time and if you stay still you get caught and eventually overtaken...
At the moment Manchester United are'nt even standing still.They're going backwards...
However we all like the feeling of schadenfreude the felling of a once mighty behemoth brings.It makes many of us feel better about supporting a club further down the pecking order.The cry from many fans to Man Utd supporters is usually "Now you know how we feel"!
Many think the downward spiral has begun since Alex Ferguson retired at the end of last season but in truth the wheels were coming off before that...
Manchester United are reigning English champions,which on paper should make them a strong outfit but the honest truth is that the Premiership they won was the poorest ever and they were the best of a bad bunch.They were able to get over the line with a combination of a fit Van Persie banging in a lot of goals,Fergies tactical nous and his ability to get every last drop out of his players plus the aura of invincibility that surrounded their name...
Well that aura has well and truly disappeared now and every Tom,Dick,Harry & even West Brom are finding playing them a relatively easy proposition.
So what's happened? Fergie's gone,although he has'nt really.He's still hanging around the place.I don't care what anyone says this can't be healthy for the club.They have made this mistake before when Matt Busby retired but hung about Old Trafford for years overseeing a succession of failed managers until,ironically,Fergie was employed about twenty years later...It's a bit like marrying a divorcee and having her ex living with you.
Fergie never addressed the problem of the centre of midfield.He clearly knew that was where the main problem lay---and still lies---he had to drag Paul Scholes out of his Oldham bolthole and when he was'nt fit enough Fergie played Wayne Rooney in that position.What he did'nt do was buy someone who could run the team from there like Roy Keane did...Basically he left them in the lurch. Whilst all Man Utd's rivals strengthened Fergie seemed to rest on his laurels...or maybe----and more alarmingly for their fans---Man Utd just can't attract the really top players that they used to and their rivals are reaping the benefits.
There's another problem for them too...Their famed youth academy is just not producing the sort of player it used to.They always had a good smattering of classy footballers coming through the ranks but that's dried up over the last few years.With many of the first team players now getting close to,or over,thirty years old---Vidic is leaving,Ferdinand will soon be gone too,maybe Evra too---there does'nt seem to be any ready made replacements waiting in the wings.Again maybe they're just not able to attract the best of the young players like they used to...
Now Van Persie is also making noises about his teamates in the Dutch press(Those Dutch players can't help themselves can they?) No doubt when challenged he'll claim something was lost in translation,Whatever,it does'nt make a happy ship at the moment.
Football,like most sport,usually has a natural cycle.No team stays at the top for ever.I remember when i was young it was unthinkable that Liverpool would go over twenty years without winning the title.They were unbeatable...Only they were'nt.
That's the thing.Every team has to improve all the time and if you stay still you get caught and eventually overtaken...
At the moment Manchester United are'nt even standing still.They're going backwards...
Monday 24 February 2014
A taste of honey under the Westway...
On Saturday Wolves ventured to West London to put their five match winning run on the line against table topping Brentford who were unbeaten in nineteen games,an impressive record going back four months.Many thought the result would go a long way to deciding the division one title.Personally i'm not so sure about that especially with Orient,Preston & Rotherham still up there in the mix...It's just another three points after all,albeit a very important three points.
Playing games down south is always an odd one for us in London Wolves.We're used to long hauls for games at Molineux every other week but although games down south are more "local" to us it still means going to parts of the country we rarely usually visit.Brentford is in the shadow of the Westway and all i know about that is imagery from early Clash albums.Still it was a nice day and at least we all had a chance for a lie in and grab breakfast...
We met up at Waterloo station---which seemed to be full of English & Irish Rugby fans searching for an open boozer---to get the train to Brentford---picking up one of our number at Clapham on the way---getting to the pub at noon to fortify ourselves for the day ahead.The Nelson was a nice friendly place about five minutes from the ground although maybe they should invest in more bar staff on match days...Anyway,Brentford famously has a pub on each corner of their ground but we had no intention of going on a crawl.Once we're settled in a boozer we tend to stay there.Maybe it's an age thing...
Griffin Park is what can be described as "old school" It's been a long time since Wolves fans had the joy of a standing only terrace to jump about on.For us old buggers it bought back misty eyed memories of days gone and for the younger fans it must have been akin to discovering their dads--or Grandads--- vinyl LP's and playing them on a battered old turntable.
This was a big day for our hosts.A sell out crowd for the first time this season with all Wolves tickets sold once again there was a cracking atmosphere in the away end...
The first half was proving pretty even.Both teams sussing each other out.Brentford had plenty of the ball but they never got behind our defence,indeed the only shot Ikeme had to save was a free kick from just over 20 yards out.Meanwhile we had a couple of chances on the break but failed to make the breakthrough...Then in injury time of the first half a well worked throw in by the corner flag found James Henry in the box where his cross drifted into the top corner of the net.
Cue mayhem on the terraces! I'd forgotten how manic celebrating a goal on the terraces can be.We were stood right by the exit at the back of the stand.My mate ended up at the front!
The second half followed the pattern of the first.Brentford having a lot of the ball but failing to get anywhere near our penalty box.We on the other hand looked dangerous every time we attacked.The second goal duly followed when Sako spotted the run of Jacobs through the middle and found him with a superb pass.Jacobs ran on to score unhindered.He also grabbed the third with a superb shot after good work down the left by Dicko and the ever impressive Goldbourne.
In truth Wolves were not at their best and maybe the occasion got to Brentford but we were well worth the win.Some Brenford fans have been moaning that they had more of the ball,and that's true,but it's what you do with it that counts.They were restricted to three shots...one of which nearly hit me!
In the pub afterwards we were also told we were cloggers with only one half decent player...Nowt as blind as football fans after getting a good gubbing...
So that's six wins on the bounce with the best defence in English football.We have to carry on this great run though.One glance at the top three shows there's no room for complacency...
P W F A GD PTS
Orient 33 20 64 32 34 67
Wolves 31 20 54 20 34 67
Brentford 31 20 54 31 23 66
Playing games down south is always an odd one for us in London Wolves.We're used to long hauls for games at Molineux every other week but although games down south are more "local" to us it still means going to parts of the country we rarely usually visit.Brentford is in the shadow of the Westway and all i know about that is imagery from early Clash albums.Still it was a nice day and at least we all had a chance for a lie in and grab breakfast...
We met up at Waterloo station---which seemed to be full of English & Irish Rugby fans searching for an open boozer---to get the train to Brentford---picking up one of our number at Clapham on the way---getting to the pub at noon to fortify ourselves for the day ahead.The Nelson was a nice friendly place about five minutes from the ground although maybe they should invest in more bar staff on match days...Anyway,Brentford famously has a pub on each corner of their ground but we had no intention of going on a crawl.Once we're settled in a boozer we tend to stay there.Maybe it's an age thing...
Griffin Park is what can be described as "old school" It's been a long time since Wolves fans had the joy of a standing only terrace to jump about on.For us old buggers it bought back misty eyed memories of days gone and for the younger fans it must have been akin to discovering their dads--or Grandads--- vinyl LP's and playing them on a battered old turntable.
This was a big day for our hosts.A sell out crowd for the first time this season with all Wolves tickets sold once again there was a cracking atmosphere in the away end...
The first half was proving pretty even.Both teams sussing each other out.Brentford had plenty of the ball but they never got behind our defence,indeed the only shot Ikeme had to save was a free kick from just over 20 yards out.Meanwhile we had a couple of chances on the break but failed to make the breakthrough...Then in injury time of the first half a well worked throw in by the corner flag found James Henry in the box where his cross drifted into the top corner of the net.
Cue mayhem on the terraces! I'd forgotten how manic celebrating a goal on the terraces can be.We were stood right by the exit at the back of the stand.My mate ended up at the front!
The second half followed the pattern of the first.Brentford having a lot of the ball but failing to get anywhere near our penalty box.We on the other hand looked dangerous every time we attacked.The second goal duly followed when Sako spotted the run of Jacobs through the middle and found him with a superb pass.Jacobs ran on to score unhindered.He also grabbed the third with a superb shot after good work down the left by Dicko and the ever impressive Goldbourne.
In truth Wolves were not at their best and maybe the occasion got to Brentford but we were well worth the win.Some Brenford fans have been moaning that they had more of the ball,and that's true,but it's what you do with it that counts.They were restricted to three shots...one of which nearly hit me!
In the pub afterwards we were also told we were cloggers with only one half decent player...Nowt as blind as football fans after getting a good gubbing...
So that's six wins on the bounce with the best defence in English football.We have to carry on this great run though.One glance at the top three shows there's no room for complacency...
P W F A GD PTS
Orient 33 20 64 32 34 67
Wolves 31 20 54 20 34 67
Brentford 31 20 54 31 23 66
Monday 3 February 2014
The quiet Molineux revolution...
Not all revolutions are loud brash affairs.Some are put into place on the quiet without many people noticing.Such a revolution is happening at Wolves under Kenny Jackett.
As a club Wolves have a history of playing high tempo football with the emphasis on getting the ball into the opponents box as quickly as possible.Nothing wrong with this and when it works it's exciting and fruitful in terms of results.The last time it all came together was under Mick McCarthy when we won the Championship in 2008/9.That season we had wingers Michael Kightly & Matty Jarvis tearing Championship defences a new one nearly every week.It was wonderfully exciting.But football moves on and so must Wolves...
After three season's in the top division followed by two successive relegations we needed a sea change at the club.Not just a change in personal but also a whole new playing philosophy to permeate through the place.This was first mooted under Stale Stalbakken but for many reasons that did'nt work.It may have done but he had too many players inherited from the previous regime who'd got too complacent at the club.They were bloated and lazy after a few years of relative success.They clearly resisted change and failed to get on board.Ultimately it ended with SS getting sacked...and a further relegation.
Come the summer and time to put the new Wolves footballing revolution into action...In hindsight going down to division one has been a blessing because a)It means that the clueless Dean Saunders could be jettisoned as boss and b)The new boss had carte blanche to get rid of the old guard at the club and start again.Now all we had to do was make the correct choice of who took over as boss...
At first glance Kenny Jackett did'nt fit the bill for many but few remembered that he was the man who'd put Swansea's upsurge into place by implementing the sort of football that got them into the Premiership and then receive many plaudits for their football...retention of the ball combined with crisp midfield passing and plenty of movement...Movement in football is key.No team wins games by players being stationary with their fingers up their arse.
Over a very short period he's made the team his own.First off by being good as his word on giving all the youth team players a chance to prove what they can do.If they show they're good enough they're in the first team squad.Some have fallen by the wayside but others have flourished under his guidance.
His other job was to get rid---either by sale or loan---of the old guard and get his own players in,again this he's done over two transfer windows.It says something about his football knowledge that every player signed so far has slotted in well and been a success.He clearly has an eye for a player...
As i said before the type of football he's got his team playing is crisp passing and lots of movement.He also likes the pressing game but not to the detriment to the players fitness levels near the end of the game.Pressing but at the right time.Not all the time...It's also noticeable that he's got us passing our way out of trouble in defence rather than just hoofing the ball back to the opponents in a blind panic.It's wonderful to see...
One thing everyone used to know about Wolves was that the fans could get on the players back if we were'nt gubbing teams within the first half hour but even us fans are beginning to learn and appreciate this new way.On saturday Bradford had a player sent off within 30 mins.In normal circumstances the home crowd would be going apoplectic if we did'nt immediately bomb forward in search of goals.This did'nt happen on saturday.We continued to play the pass & move game,tiring out the opponents before the breakthrough came...The Wolves fans learning to be patient? A revolution indeed...
The average age of the team is about twenty two/three and they're improving weekly as they get used to each other.The future looks bright...KJ is doing a bang up job,nicely backed up by Owner Morgan and CEO Moxey.Contrary to popular belief among our division one rivals we're not buying the league,All the players bought in have been paid for by sales of players to higher clubs...Self financing.It's the way forward apparently!
The quiet Molineux revolution is in full swing...It won't be televised either until we're in the Premiership...
As a club Wolves have a history of playing high tempo football with the emphasis on getting the ball into the opponents box as quickly as possible.Nothing wrong with this and when it works it's exciting and fruitful in terms of results.The last time it all came together was under Mick McCarthy when we won the Championship in 2008/9.That season we had wingers Michael Kightly & Matty Jarvis tearing Championship defences a new one nearly every week.It was wonderfully exciting.But football moves on and so must Wolves...
After three season's in the top division followed by two successive relegations we needed a sea change at the club.Not just a change in personal but also a whole new playing philosophy to permeate through the place.This was first mooted under Stale Stalbakken but for many reasons that did'nt work.It may have done but he had too many players inherited from the previous regime who'd got too complacent at the club.They were bloated and lazy after a few years of relative success.They clearly resisted change and failed to get on board.Ultimately it ended with SS getting sacked...and a further relegation.
Come the summer and time to put the new Wolves footballing revolution into action...In hindsight going down to division one has been a blessing because a)It means that the clueless Dean Saunders could be jettisoned as boss and b)The new boss had carte blanche to get rid of the old guard at the club and start again.Now all we had to do was make the correct choice of who took over as boss...
At first glance Kenny Jackett did'nt fit the bill for many but few remembered that he was the man who'd put Swansea's upsurge into place by implementing the sort of football that got them into the Premiership and then receive many plaudits for their football...retention of the ball combined with crisp midfield passing and plenty of movement...Movement in football is key.No team wins games by players being stationary with their fingers up their arse.
Over a very short period he's made the team his own.First off by being good as his word on giving all the youth team players a chance to prove what they can do.If they show they're good enough they're in the first team squad.Some have fallen by the wayside but others have flourished under his guidance.
His other job was to get rid---either by sale or loan---of the old guard and get his own players in,again this he's done over two transfer windows.It says something about his football knowledge that every player signed so far has slotted in well and been a success.He clearly has an eye for a player...
As i said before the type of football he's got his team playing is crisp passing and lots of movement.He also likes the pressing game but not to the detriment to the players fitness levels near the end of the game.Pressing but at the right time.Not all the time...It's also noticeable that he's got us passing our way out of trouble in defence rather than just hoofing the ball back to the opponents in a blind panic.It's wonderful to see...
One thing everyone used to know about Wolves was that the fans could get on the players back if we were'nt gubbing teams within the first half hour but even us fans are beginning to learn and appreciate this new way.On saturday Bradford had a player sent off within 30 mins.In normal circumstances the home crowd would be going apoplectic if we did'nt immediately bomb forward in search of goals.This did'nt happen on saturday.We continued to play the pass & move game,tiring out the opponents before the breakthrough came...The Wolves fans learning to be patient? A revolution indeed...
The average age of the team is about twenty two/three and they're improving weekly as they get used to each other.The future looks bright...KJ is doing a bang up job,nicely backed up by Owner Morgan and CEO Moxey.Contrary to popular belief among our division one rivals we're not buying the league,All the players bought in have been paid for by sales of players to higher clubs...Self financing.It's the way forward apparently!
The quiet Molineux revolution is in full swing...It won't be televised either until we're in the Premiership...
Tuesday 21 January 2014
West Brom,Zoopla and the Quenelle...
Up until a few weeks ago not many people in Britain had heard of the Quenelle.Now after West Brom's Nicolas Anelka celebrated his opening goal against West Ham adopting the Quenelle pose---a straight arm inverted Fascistic salute with the other arm coming across the shoulder---we're all more aware of it.
But what is it and what does it mean?
The origins are from a French comic called Dieudonne M'bala M'bala and he says that the Quenelle is an anti establishment signal,not anything to do with being anti-Semite. Maybe it started out that way however by 2009 he was using it to promote an anti-Zionist party in the elections----I know anti-Zionism is'nt anti-Semite per sa,but it's certainly going down the same track---Since then it's been appropriated by every right wing nut, and those pathetic saps who just like to shock without consideration,in France by posing for photo opportunities doing the Quenelle in front of Synagogues',Anne Frank's house and,most disturbingly, Auschwitz.
M'bala has done nothing to quell this ugly display of crass insensitivity,or downright antisemitism.Indeed he appears to revel in it,still saying it's anti establishment...
It's gone too far away from any pretence about it's origins now.Even if it did begin life as a jokey "up yours" to their rulers---which i doubt---Everyone knows what it means now.Show anyone a Swastika and they don't think of it as a Hindu symbol used for thousands of years in their worship.They think of the murderous Nazi's.The same is now true of the Quenelle...
What of West Brom's sponsors Zoopla? The company chose to issue a press release yesterday stating they will end their sponsorship owing to Anelka's gesture.Understandable as the company's co owner is Jewish.However why wait a month to register their disgust? Why not cut the ties totally now rather than wait till the end of the season,especially as their sponsorship is due to end then anyway?
My cynicism has been further fueled by the timing of the break with the club.It seems they waited till the whole of the spotlight was on West Brom with a televised Monday night game to announce it.Yes they were disgusted by Anelka's apparent anti-Semitism but not until the opportunity arose to get a shed load of free publicity.A month being outraged...Zoopla said they were waiting to see what West Brom did before making a decision.Sorry but it was obvious what West Brom would do...Nothing
Talking of which:West Brom are just like any other club in this regard.Excellent at playing the PR game when it comes to the local community ---very laudable---but when real issues pop up involving one of their star players they're found to be as morally bankrupt as any other football club.
This is not a dig at our rivals down the road...It's a dig at all of football.The game's littered with those who sully the image.From the downright stupid to the crass and even,thankfully rare,to those that have killed.Yet how many have been drummed out of the game due to their misdemeanors'?
The truth is all clubs will retain the services of their players for as long as they're useful no matter how they behave.Morality 0 Pragmatism 1 In the rare event a club does do the decent thing and jettison a malcontent there's always a queue waiting to sign him up...
Personally i don't think anyone has come out of this sorry saga very well...
But what is it and what does it mean?
The origins are from a French comic called Dieudonne M'bala M'bala and he says that the Quenelle is an anti establishment signal,not anything to do with being anti-Semite. Maybe it started out that way however by 2009 he was using it to promote an anti-Zionist party in the elections----I know anti-Zionism is'nt anti-Semite per sa,but it's certainly going down the same track---Since then it's been appropriated by every right wing nut, and those pathetic saps who just like to shock without consideration,in France by posing for photo opportunities doing the Quenelle in front of Synagogues',Anne Frank's house and,most disturbingly, Auschwitz.
M'bala has done nothing to quell this ugly display of crass insensitivity,or downright antisemitism.Indeed he appears to revel in it,still saying it's anti establishment...
It's gone too far away from any pretence about it's origins now.Even if it did begin life as a jokey "up yours" to their rulers---which i doubt---Everyone knows what it means now.Show anyone a Swastika and they don't think of it as a Hindu symbol used for thousands of years in their worship.They think of the murderous Nazi's.The same is now true of the Quenelle...
What of West Brom's sponsors Zoopla? The company chose to issue a press release yesterday stating they will end their sponsorship owing to Anelka's gesture.Understandable as the company's co owner is Jewish.However why wait a month to register their disgust? Why not cut the ties totally now rather than wait till the end of the season,especially as their sponsorship is due to end then anyway?
My cynicism has been further fueled by the timing of the break with the club.It seems they waited till the whole of the spotlight was on West Brom with a televised Monday night game to announce it.Yes they were disgusted by Anelka's apparent anti-Semitism but not until the opportunity arose to get a shed load of free publicity.A month being outraged...Zoopla said they were waiting to see what West Brom did before making a decision.Sorry but it was obvious what West Brom would do...Nothing
Talking of which:West Brom are just like any other club in this regard.Excellent at playing the PR game when it comes to the local community ---very laudable---but when real issues pop up involving one of their star players they're found to be as morally bankrupt as any other football club.
This is not a dig at our rivals down the road...It's a dig at all of football.The game's littered with those who sully the image.From the downright stupid to the crass and even,thankfully rare,to those that have killed.Yet how many have been drummed out of the game due to their misdemeanors'?
The truth is all clubs will retain the services of their players for as long as they're useful no matter how they behave.Morality 0 Pragmatism 1 In the rare event a club does do the decent thing and jettison a malcontent there's always a queue waiting to sign him up...
Personally i don't think anyone has come out of this sorry saga very well...
Sunday 19 January 2014
Millwall V Ipswich.Into the belly of the beast...
Nothing fills a North London boy with a sense of trepidation much more than a trip over the Thames to South London for a football game,especially when that trip means going to the borough of Bermondsey to attend a game at Millwall FC.
As the Wolves game was called off we were at a loss football wise so decided to pop down to the Den.Primarily because the contest had a few Wolves connections with Keogh playing for Millwall and Ipswich boasting Berra,Hunt,SEB,Edwards and Managed by McCarthy & Conner.Also the only other game in London we could get tickets for was Palace V Stoke.It was Hobson's Choice really...
Millwall has a reputation of being the nasiest place to visit for a football game if you're a supporter of the hosts opponents,it's not a reputation that's without a certain foundation over the years.When i have been to the Den following Wolves in the past i've always felt that the policing is partly at fault here.Instead of allowing away fans to leave at the same time as the home fans,they corral visiting supporters at the back of the North Stand for about half hour which leaves those Millwall fans who want a pop at their counterparts time to gather waiting for the police escort to take away fans to the end of Zampa Rd---Which also features a Victorian rail bridge straight out of central casting for a "Jack the Ripper" movie which only adds to the foreboding----inexplicably the police then usually decide to call a halt to the escort so that the away fans are then left to their own devices.Think of The Running Man crossed with The Hunger Games...
You could say Millwall is old school...
Millwall is also predominantly local.These days many fans will travel great distances to go to a home game at the club they support,mainly due to a few decades of families moving away from their point of origin but continuing to support their "home" club as a link to their heritage.However as far as i can ascertain many Millwall fans are born & bred in Bermondsey and will remain in the area until they shuffle off this mortal coil...A local club for local people.
After several pints around London Bridge we decided to get a cab to the ground owing to the train from London Bridge to South Bermondsey being split up by the three little words all train passengers dread,namely "Bus replacement service"
Arriving at the Den i did'nt feel any of the slight dread i normally would whilst walking to the ground,mainly because to all intents and purpose i was a Millwall fan for the day and was comfortable being surrounded by Millwall fans---Not a sentence i would normally utter---It was a slightly surreal feeling for me and to add to the weirdness we bumped into a quartet of Pearly Kings & Queens.A photo opportunity not to be missed...
A right to do and no mistake Guv'nor...Cor blimey
Millwall are down near the bottom of the Championship and in very clear danger of demotion down to Division One,hence a change of manage recently.Ian Holloway has taken over and this was his first game in front of his home fans.A win was badly needed...By contrast Ipswich are reviving under former Wolves duo McCarthy & Conner,arriving at the Den in a highly credible tenth place,pushing for the play offs...
It was hard to tell what their respective positions were as the game wore on however,Millwall were by far the better team,pressing the Ipswich midfield into mistakes and attacking with purpose,it was only the lack of a confident goalscorer that kept the game tight...
Ipswich were woeful,resorting to hoofing the ball forward to an ineffective strikeforce.At the heart of the Millwall defence the imperious Danny Shittu mopped up everything Ipswich threw at him.Been a long time since i have seen such a commanding performance from a centre half...
In keeping with what was a pretty scrappy game the only goal of the day came when Fredricks out on Millwall's right aimed a terrible cross into the box which was going nowhere till it landed in the corner of the net...Apart from a little spell either side of half time Ipswich never looked capable of getting anything from the game.
As for Millwall if they can keep up the spirit & workrate---a given under Holloway---and be a bit more composed in front of goal i can see them getting out of trouble...Funnily enough i saw a fair bit of Kenny Jackett's influence in their midfield play.After all many of these players played under him for years.
It was interesting hearing the conversations around me...They seem pleased with Holloway and equally chuffed that they may be playing West Ham next season...I did'nt ask anyone about Wolves!
All in all it was a good day.I did'nt feel intimidated at all---granted i was'nt sitting anywhere near Millwall's knuckledraggers---but chatted to some lads and never felt the need to hide my accent(or adopt a Dick Van Dyke)With a decent crowd of just over 12,000--way above their average this season---i was surprised that it was'nt noisier,i was hoping it would be a bit more raucous...
Anyhoo,we finished the night banging away a few more pints in London Bridge before going home.I enjoyed the day in the belly of the beast but truthfully would still rather have been at Crawley v Wolves...
As the Wolves game was called off we were at a loss football wise so decided to pop down to the Den.Primarily because the contest had a few Wolves connections with Keogh playing for Millwall and Ipswich boasting Berra,Hunt,SEB,Edwards and Managed by McCarthy & Conner.Also the only other game in London we could get tickets for was Palace V Stoke.It was Hobson's Choice really...
Millwall has a reputation of being the nasiest place to visit for a football game if you're a supporter of the hosts opponents,it's not a reputation that's without a certain foundation over the years.When i have been to the Den following Wolves in the past i've always felt that the policing is partly at fault here.Instead of allowing away fans to leave at the same time as the home fans,they corral visiting supporters at the back of the North Stand for about half hour which leaves those Millwall fans who want a pop at their counterparts time to gather waiting for the police escort to take away fans to the end of Zampa Rd---Which also features a Victorian rail bridge straight out of central casting for a "Jack the Ripper" movie which only adds to the foreboding----inexplicably the police then usually decide to call a halt to the escort so that the away fans are then left to their own devices.Think of The Running Man crossed with The Hunger Games...
You could say Millwall is old school...
Millwall is also predominantly local.These days many fans will travel great distances to go to a home game at the club they support,mainly due to a few decades of families moving away from their point of origin but continuing to support their "home" club as a link to their heritage.However as far as i can ascertain many Millwall fans are born & bred in Bermondsey and will remain in the area until they shuffle off this mortal coil...A local club for local people.
After several pints around London Bridge we decided to get a cab to the ground owing to the train from London Bridge to South Bermondsey being split up by the three little words all train passengers dread,namely "Bus replacement service"
Arriving at the Den i did'nt feel any of the slight dread i normally would whilst walking to the ground,mainly because to all intents and purpose i was a Millwall fan for the day and was comfortable being surrounded by Millwall fans---Not a sentence i would normally utter---It was a slightly surreal feeling for me and to add to the weirdness we bumped into a quartet of Pearly Kings & Queens.A photo opportunity not to be missed...
A right to do and no mistake Guv'nor...Cor blimey
Millwall are down near the bottom of the Championship and in very clear danger of demotion down to Division One,hence a change of manage recently.Ian Holloway has taken over and this was his first game in front of his home fans.A win was badly needed...By contrast Ipswich are reviving under former Wolves duo McCarthy & Conner,arriving at the Den in a highly credible tenth place,pushing for the play offs...
It was hard to tell what their respective positions were as the game wore on however,Millwall were by far the better team,pressing the Ipswich midfield into mistakes and attacking with purpose,it was only the lack of a confident goalscorer that kept the game tight...
Ipswich were woeful,resorting to hoofing the ball forward to an ineffective strikeforce.At the heart of the Millwall defence the imperious Danny Shittu mopped up everything Ipswich threw at him.Been a long time since i have seen such a commanding performance from a centre half...
In keeping with what was a pretty scrappy game the only goal of the day came when Fredricks out on Millwall's right aimed a terrible cross into the box which was going nowhere till it landed in the corner of the net...Apart from a little spell either side of half time Ipswich never looked capable of getting anything from the game.
As for Millwall if they can keep up the spirit & workrate---a given under Holloway---and be a bit more composed in front of goal i can see them getting out of trouble...Funnily enough i saw a fair bit of Kenny Jackett's influence in their midfield play.After all many of these players played under him for years.
It was interesting hearing the conversations around me...They seem pleased with Holloway and equally chuffed that they may be playing West Ham next season...I did'nt ask anyone about Wolves!
All in all it was a good day.I did'nt feel intimidated at all---granted i was'nt sitting anywhere near Millwall's knuckledraggers---but chatted to some lads and never felt the need to hide my accent(or adopt a Dick Van Dyke)With a decent crowd of just over 12,000--way above their average this season---i was surprised that it was'nt noisier,i was hoping it would be a bit more raucous...
Anyhoo,we finished the night banging away a few more pints in London Bridge before going home.I enjoyed the day in the belly of the beast but truthfully would still rather have been at Crawley v Wolves...
Thursday 16 January 2014
Half term report...sort of.
Twenty six games gone and things seem to be going well at Wolves.How are the players shaping up?
GK) Carl Ikeme; Been superb this season,commanding in the area and pulling off vital saves in tight matches.Currently out injured with a broken hand,presumably he saw Dean Saunders stealing a living on Sky Sports and punched the plasma screen...
GK)Wayne Hennessey: Was first choice for many years but has fallen out of favour with boss KJ. That coupled with his refusal to play in a recent game seems to be the green light for the boss to sell him either in January or during the summer...
GK)Aaron McCarey;19 year old goalie who was third choice a few weeks ago but suddenly finds himself in the first team.Made a nervous debut but settled himself down pretty quickly.Old head on young shoulders,as shown with some cleverly disguised timewasting v Preston.Looks a good prospect...
RB)Matt Doherty; Been out injured recently but possibly the most improved player on the books,been outstanding this season both defensively and going forward.Has grown up this last year both mentally and physically.A bit of a beast now...Even grown a Paul Breitner beard,not sure if he shares his affection for Chairman Mao though...
RB)Ethan Ebanks-Landell;Practically a clone of Doherty style wise.Tough in defence,exciting bombing forward.Has only made seven appearances but already grabbed two goals,many will have seen his cracker V Leyton Orient.Expect more Carlos Alberto type goals in the future...
RB)Kevin Foley; From being our most dependable player to barely making the match day squad in a couple of years.God knows what's happened to him but hardly gets on the bench these days...Expect him to leave soon.
CB)Danny Batth;Just signed a long term contract and all Wolves fans will be happy with that.Outstanding.Destined for big things...
CB)Richard Stearman;Finally finding his form after years of being played out of position at right back.Formed a good partnership with Batth.My only quibble is he sometimes gets caught out trying to play football.Franz Beckenbauer he is not...
LB)Sam Ricketts;Canny old timer.His experience has been invaluable helping to pull the young defence through tough patches this season.Was KJ's first signing and it's easy to see why.
LB)George Elokobi; Everyone loves George but unfortunately he's a disaster waiting to happen and i'll be shocked if he's still here next season.When his time comes i'll wish him well...
LB)Scott Golbourne;Grown into his role since signing earlier this season.Looking far more confident in defence.Like him a lot...Would like him more if he jettisoned that stupid streak in his hair...
M)Dave Edwards; It's an unspoken tradition at Wolves that at least one player will be the target of the fans ire.At the moment it's Dave's turn.Finally playing in the middle where he's best suited and starting to grab some important goals with late runs into the box.Does tend to miss at least half a season with niggling injuries though...
M)James Henry;Finally secured on a full time basis after being on loan.Been a revelation since coming to Wolves,marauding down the right wing whipping in some great crosses,works well with Doherty & Ebanks-Landell and chips in with his fair share of goals too.
M)David Davies; Many felt this was going to be his season to shine but so far has only shown patches of good form.Mainly used as a sub so far.Needs to be more consistent.
M)Bakary Sako; The one player who everyone thought would rip up this division, but after a good start has faded somewhat.Been constantly linked with Notts Forest so maybe that's having an effect.Still think he has an important part to play if he stays.If i was the boss i'd instruct him to not bother trying to defend,just stay up front waiting for a break...
M)Kevin McDonald;Been the engine of the team,everything seems to go through him in midfield.Occasionally gets sloppy in his passing but when he's on form is probably the best central midfielder in the division.Needs to get more goals...
M)Anthony Forde; A strange one this.Made his debut in the Premiership under Mick McCarthy a while ago and big(ish) things were predicted but has gone backwards to the point of anonymity.Think he may be sold soon...
M)Lee Evans;Not the sweaty unfunny comedian but the sweaty unfunny midfielder.The one good thing Saunders did for the club was buying Evans from Newport.Been in and out of the team but only 19 so plenty of time to improve.Good player always looking to score.
M)Jack Price; That small stature.That beard...It's Andres Iniesta! Price may prove to be the best player to come out of our youth academy(including Batth) Fantastic passer of the ball.Keeps the midfield moving with give & go's.My only worry is he does seem injury prone.Let's hope that's just growing and nothing that will blight his career...
M)Zeli Ismail;Hyped up to the max and so far has only produced what we hope he can sporadically.Currently on loan at Burton.Hope we can harness the undoubted talent he has...
M)Michael Jacobs;Another player signed full time after a loan spell.Tricky little player always looking for a forward pass and not shy to have a shot.
M)Jamie O'Hara;He's played for a few minutes so have to include him.A big thing was made of his return to the squad but,like most of his career,it turned out to be a damp squib.Went for a trial at Blackpool but was sent back for being unfit...To my mind that's unprofessional.Every player has a duty to stay as fit as possible barring injury...
F)Leigh Griffiths;Fans favourite but clearly not KJ's.Rarely plays a full game due to being subbed or coming on as a sub.Is the most likely to grab the goals needed to get promotion but not only that the forward line looks far more threatening,and less predictable,when he plays.Lots of rumours about his future...
F)Bjorn Sigurdarson;Disappointing.Again big things were expected but just has'nt grabbed whatever chances to shine that have come his way.However i hope he stays and regains his confidence & form...
F)Jake Cassidy; A trier,no doubt about that,maybe trying too hard to get his first goal for the club.The fans patience is beginning to wear thin.I really want him to suceed but fear i may be whistling in the wind...Needs a loan away for a while...
F)Kevin Doyle;What a strange season Doyler's having.Never been an out and out goalscorer like Griffiths but adds a lot to the team by bringing in others and initiating forward moves.I like Doyle but think a move may well be the best for everyone...The ultimate team player.
F)Liam McAlinden;Looks the real deal on the few times i have seen him.Very positive and always on the move giving defenders a hard time.
All in all we're in a great position to improve in what has already been a superb season.The average age of the squad is probably early 20's with many coming through our youth academy.Something all Wolves fans should feel proud of...
GK) Carl Ikeme; Been superb this season,commanding in the area and pulling off vital saves in tight matches.Currently out injured with a broken hand,presumably he saw Dean Saunders stealing a living on Sky Sports and punched the plasma screen...
GK)Wayne Hennessey: Was first choice for many years but has fallen out of favour with boss KJ. That coupled with his refusal to play in a recent game seems to be the green light for the boss to sell him either in January or during the summer...
GK)Aaron McCarey;19 year old goalie who was third choice a few weeks ago but suddenly finds himself in the first team.Made a nervous debut but settled himself down pretty quickly.Old head on young shoulders,as shown with some cleverly disguised timewasting v Preston.Looks a good prospect...
RB)Matt Doherty; Been out injured recently but possibly the most improved player on the books,been outstanding this season both defensively and going forward.Has grown up this last year both mentally and physically.A bit of a beast now...Even grown a Paul Breitner beard,not sure if he shares his affection for Chairman Mao though...
RB)Ethan Ebanks-Landell;Practically a clone of Doherty style wise.Tough in defence,exciting bombing forward.Has only made seven appearances but already grabbed two goals,many will have seen his cracker V Leyton Orient.Expect more Carlos Alberto type goals in the future...
RB)Kevin Foley; From being our most dependable player to barely making the match day squad in a couple of years.God knows what's happened to him but hardly gets on the bench these days...Expect him to leave soon.
CB)Danny Batth;Just signed a long term contract and all Wolves fans will be happy with that.Outstanding.Destined for big things...
CB)Richard Stearman;Finally finding his form after years of being played out of position at right back.Formed a good partnership with Batth.My only quibble is he sometimes gets caught out trying to play football.Franz Beckenbauer he is not...
LB)Sam Ricketts;Canny old timer.His experience has been invaluable helping to pull the young defence through tough patches this season.Was KJ's first signing and it's easy to see why.
LB)George Elokobi; Everyone loves George but unfortunately he's a disaster waiting to happen and i'll be shocked if he's still here next season.When his time comes i'll wish him well...
LB)Scott Golbourne;Grown into his role since signing earlier this season.Looking far more confident in defence.Like him a lot...Would like him more if he jettisoned that stupid streak in his hair...
M)Dave Edwards; It's an unspoken tradition at Wolves that at least one player will be the target of the fans ire.At the moment it's Dave's turn.Finally playing in the middle where he's best suited and starting to grab some important goals with late runs into the box.Does tend to miss at least half a season with niggling injuries though...
M)James Henry;Finally secured on a full time basis after being on loan.Been a revelation since coming to Wolves,marauding down the right wing whipping in some great crosses,works well with Doherty & Ebanks-Landell and chips in with his fair share of goals too.
M)David Davies; Many felt this was going to be his season to shine but so far has only shown patches of good form.Mainly used as a sub so far.Needs to be more consistent.
M)Bakary Sako; The one player who everyone thought would rip up this division, but after a good start has faded somewhat.Been constantly linked with Notts Forest so maybe that's having an effect.Still think he has an important part to play if he stays.If i was the boss i'd instruct him to not bother trying to defend,just stay up front waiting for a break...
M)Kevin McDonald;Been the engine of the team,everything seems to go through him in midfield.Occasionally gets sloppy in his passing but when he's on form is probably the best central midfielder in the division.Needs to get more goals...
M)Anthony Forde; A strange one this.Made his debut in the Premiership under Mick McCarthy a while ago and big(ish) things were predicted but has gone backwards to the point of anonymity.Think he may be sold soon...
M)Lee Evans;Not the sweaty unfunny comedian but the sweaty unfunny midfielder.The one good thing Saunders did for the club was buying Evans from Newport.Been in and out of the team but only 19 so plenty of time to improve.Good player always looking to score.
M)Jack Price; That small stature.That beard...It's Andres Iniesta! Price may prove to be the best player to come out of our youth academy(including Batth) Fantastic passer of the ball.Keeps the midfield moving with give & go's.My only worry is he does seem injury prone.Let's hope that's just growing and nothing that will blight his career...
M)Zeli Ismail;Hyped up to the max and so far has only produced what we hope he can sporadically.Currently on loan at Burton.Hope we can harness the undoubted talent he has...
M)Michael Jacobs;Another player signed full time after a loan spell.Tricky little player always looking for a forward pass and not shy to have a shot.
M)Jamie O'Hara;He's played for a few minutes so have to include him.A big thing was made of his return to the squad but,like most of his career,it turned out to be a damp squib.Went for a trial at Blackpool but was sent back for being unfit...To my mind that's unprofessional.Every player has a duty to stay as fit as possible barring injury...
F)Leigh Griffiths;Fans favourite but clearly not KJ's.Rarely plays a full game due to being subbed or coming on as a sub.Is the most likely to grab the goals needed to get promotion but not only that the forward line looks far more threatening,and less predictable,when he plays.Lots of rumours about his future...
F)Bjorn Sigurdarson;Disappointing.Again big things were expected but just has'nt grabbed whatever chances to shine that have come his way.However i hope he stays and regains his confidence & form...
F)Jake Cassidy; A trier,no doubt about that,maybe trying too hard to get his first goal for the club.The fans patience is beginning to wear thin.I really want him to suceed but fear i may be whistling in the wind...Needs a loan away for a while...
F)Kevin Doyle;What a strange season Doyler's having.Never been an out and out goalscorer like Griffiths but adds a lot to the team by bringing in others and initiating forward moves.I like Doyle but think a move may well be the best for everyone...The ultimate team player.
F)Liam McAlinden;Looks the real deal on the few times i have seen him.Very positive and always on the move giving defenders a hard time.
All in all we're in a great position to improve in what has already been a superb season.The average age of the squad is probably early 20's with many coming through our youth academy.Something all Wolves fans should feel proud of...
Thursday 2 January 2014
Getting busy with Nostradamus...2014 and all that.
Myself and my mate Nozza,the self styled Derren Brown of Provence,have been burning the candle at both ends for all of ten minutes to bring you,the fevered and expectant public,our predictions for the up coming year...
January) By the second week of January the entire populations of both Bulgaria & Romania have decamped en masse to Dover and Hastings respectively leaving the way open for Cameron to invade Bulgaria with the remaining British Armed Forces,comprising of ten thousand boy scouts,a Pedalo and the balloon used in the film "Around the World in 80 Days". Bulgaria is to be a staging post for a push into China later in the year...Meanwhile realising the game's up The Daily Mail begins printing in Cyrillic Script in an attempt to corner the Bulgarian market...Nigel Farage's head explodes.
February) The entire Romanian population departs Hastings en masse to join up with the British troops in Bulgaria for the forthcoming invasion of China."It'll be a damn sight easier than working in all those bloody tea shops" says a Romanian spokesman.Meanwhile there's a surprise when Dimitar Berbatov replaces Nigel Farage as leader of UKIP...Godfrey Bloom's head explodes.
March) The world of show business is rocked to it's very core when The Sun exclusively reveals that Tom Hanks really is as nice as he seems.Meanwhile in Bulgaria the British combined forces are in turmoil when it's announced nobody thought to bring the X Box chargers...The Daily Mail and UKIP leader Dimitar Berbatov blame the Romanians...Paddy Ashdown's head explodes.
April) Music:Justin Bieber joins One Direction but leaves a week later citing "Musical differences" Bieber then joins Napalm Death but a week later they leave to join One Direction in a bid to gain more Twitter followers...Miley Cyrus becomes the first daughter of a cheesy C & W singer to twerk unaided across the Grand Canyon... Twitter explodes.
May) Ex Cricketer Fred Flintoff pays a morale boosting visit to the combined British & Romanian forces stationed in Bulgaria,unfortunately after an agreeable lunch in the Officer's Mess he takes the rapid response Pedalo out on the Black Sea and gets captured by the Russians after straying into their waters...Meanwhile in sport the English Cricket team decide to declare all their first innings'in the summer tests to avoid any embarrassment...Geoff Boycott's head explodes.
June) The Lib Dems have made it known they'd happily form a coalition with the newly formed Bulgarian backed BUKIP party.A spokesman said "It's all about remaining in power and as we've already sold our souls it does'nt really matter who we get into bed with"... The World Cup is abandoned after five games when Qatar make a bid to be awarded the cup in perpetuity,FIFA agree on condition payment is cash only.The English press declare England World Champions as they remained unbeaten due to not playing a game...Roy Hodgson's head explodes.
July) Summer madness as two whole days of temperatures reaching 27C stops all transport in the country.The Tories blame the Labour Party,the SNP blame the English and BUKIP blame the Romanians...The planned invasion of China is abandoned due to the ten thousand Scouts starting their summer holidays in Tuscany... Guy Ritchie is to direct "Eastenders,The Movie!" The Samaritans announce all time record phone calls received...Ross Kemp's head explodes.
August) Sky & BT both pull out of tv deals covering the EPL,Sky said they could'nt afford that and Murdoch's divorce and BT claimed it cost all their money to persuade the blonde actress to kiss that gobshite in the adverts.All Premiership players put on minimum wage and zero hours contracts.John Terry is caught shoplifting in Poundland...The Commonwealth Games finishes in Glasgow.Nobody had noticed it had even begun...Roman Abramovitch's head explodes
September) The Romanians decide to stay in Bulgaria " We may as well stay here now,the place is empty and it's better than going back home with all those bloody Hammer Horror Goth tourists clogging up the place thinking we're all sodding Vampires" said a spokesman...Scotland votes for independence,the next day a Viking task force,led by Sven Goran Eriksson , sails up the Firth of Forth to claim Scotland in the name of his forefathers. "It's the least i could do" says Sven... Alex Salmond's head explodes.
October) Mass riots in Bavaria when Wetherspoons takes over the the Oktoberfest and every bench is taken up by a solitary old man complaining about the state of the country...The Star Wars franchise seems to be running out of ideas when the latest film is just two hours of Ray Winstone as Darth Vader shouting "Who's the Daddy?"...Cardiff owner Vincent Tan changes the clubs strip to all white and their name to "New Jack City".This is accepted without a murmur of discontent...Sam Hammam's head explodes.
November) England is declared bankrupt by the IMF,a beachcomber finds a £2 coin on Brighton beach and immediately rises to the top of the Times rich list.Meanwhile the Prime Minister becomes CEO of payday loan company Wonga saying "We're all in this together suckers"...In other news Taylor Swift marries Snoop Dogg in Hollywood.Mr & Mrs Dogg are wed by the Rev Justin Bieber...Miley Cyrus's head explodes.
December) Bit of a Surprise at Woking Pantomime where Christopher Biggins,a tour de force as Widow Twanky,announces he's now to be addressed as Obergruppenfuhrer and that the tanks are rolling on Downing St as he speaks.He's not joking...The Daily Mail editorial comments that Obergruppenfuhrer Biggins is the strong leader this country's needed since 1939...The Bulgarians defect to Romania en Masse...David Cameron's head explodes.
January) By the second week of January the entire populations of both Bulgaria & Romania have decamped en masse to Dover and Hastings respectively leaving the way open for Cameron to invade Bulgaria with the remaining British Armed Forces,comprising of ten thousand boy scouts,a Pedalo and the balloon used in the film "Around the World in 80 Days". Bulgaria is to be a staging post for a push into China later in the year...Meanwhile realising the game's up The Daily Mail begins printing in Cyrillic Script in an attempt to corner the Bulgarian market...Nigel Farage's head explodes.
February) The entire Romanian population departs Hastings en masse to join up with the British troops in Bulgaria for the forthcoming invasion of China."It'll be a damn sight easier than working in all those bloody tea shops" says a Romanian spokesman.Meanwhile there's a surprise when Dimitar Berbatov replaces Nigel Farage as leader of UKIP...Godfrey Bloom's head explodes.
March) The world of show business is rocked to it's very core when The Sun exclusively reveals that Tom Hanks really is as nice as he seems.Meanwhile in Bulgaria the British combined forces are in turmoil when it's announced nobody thought to bring the X Box chargers...The Daily Mail and UKIP leader Dimitar Berbatov blame the Romanians...Paddy Ashdown's head explodes.
April) Music:Justin Bieber joins One Direction but leaves a week later citing "Musical differences" Bieber then joins Napalm Death but a week later they leave to join One Direction in a bid to gain more Twitter followers...Miley Cyrus becomes the first daughter of a cheesy C & W singer to twerk unaided across the Grand Canyon... Twitter explodes.
May) Ex Cricketer Fred Flintoff pays a morale boosting visit to the combined British & Romanian forces stationed in Bulgaria,unfortunately after an agreeable lunch in the Officer's Mess he takes the rapid response Pedalo out on the Black Sea and gets captured by the Russians after straying into their waters...Meanwhile in sport the English Cricket team decide to declare all their first innings'in the summer tests to avoid any embarrassment...Geoff Boycott's head explodes.
June) The Lib Dems have made it known they'd happily form a coalition with the newly formed Bulgarian backed BUKIP party.A spokesman said "It's all about remaining in power and as we've already sold our souls it does'nt really matter who we get into bed with"... The World Cup is abandoned after five games when Qatar make a bid to be awarded the cup in perpetuity,FIFA agree on condition payment is cash only.The English press declare England World Champions as they remained unbeaten due to not playing a game...Roy Hodgson's head explodes.
July) Summer madness as two whole days of temperatures reaching 27C stops all transport in the country.The Tories blame the Labour Party,the SNP blame the English and BUKIP blame the Romanians...The planned invasion of China is abandoned due to the ten thousand Scouts starting their summer holidays in Tuscany... Guy Ritchie is to direct "Eastenders,The Movie!" The Samaritans announce all time record phone calls received...Ross Kemp's head explodes.
August) Sky & BT both pull out of tv deals covering the EPL,Sky said they could'nt afford that and Murdoch's divorce and BT claimed it cost all their money to persuade the blonde actress to kiss that gobshite in the adverts.All Premiership players put on minimum wage and zero hours contracts.John Terry is caught shoplifting in Poundland...The Commonwealth Games finishes in Glasgow.Nobody had noticed it had even begun...Roman Abramovitch's head explodes
September) The Romanians decide to stay in Bulgaria " We may as well stay here now,the place is empty and it's better than going back home with all those bloody Hammer Horror Goth tourists clogging up the place thinking we're all sodding Vampires" said a spokesman...Scotland votes for independence,the next day a Viking task force,led by Sven Goran Eriksson , sails up the Firth of Forth to claim Scotland in the name of his forefathers. "It's the least i could do" says Sven... Alex Salmond's head explodes.
October) Mass riots in Bavaria when Wetherspoons takes over the the Oktoberfest and every bench is taken up by a solitary old man complaining about the state of the country...The Star Wars franchise seems to be running out of ideas when the latest film is just two hours of Ray Winstone as Darth Vader shouting "Who's the Daddy?"...Cardiff owner Vincent Tan changes the clubs strip to all white and their name to "New Jack City".This is accepted without a murmur of discontent...Sam Hammam's head explodes.
November) England is declared bankrupt by the IMF,a beachcomber finds a £2 coin on Brighton beach and immediately rises to the top of the Times rich list.Meanwhile the Prime Minister becomes CEO of payday loan company Wonga saying "We're all in this together suckers"...In other news Taylor Swift marries Snoop Dogg in Hollywood.Mr & Mrs Dogg are wed by the Rev Justin Bieber...Miley Cyrus's head explodes.
December) Bit of a Surprise at Woking Pantomime where Christopher Biggins,a tour de force as Widow Twanky,announces he's now to be addressed as Obergruppenfuhrer and that the tanks are rolling on Downing St as he speaks.He's not joking...The Daily Mail editorial comments that Obergruppenfuhrer Biggins is the strong leader this country's needed since 1939...The Bulgarians defect to Romania en Masse...David Cameron's head explodes.
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