It's that time of year again good people...A time to sit down and reflect on life's ups and downs,a time to ponder the future and then think "Sod this,let's go and get drunk..."
So here's my awards for this year...
The perennial Rolling Stones for-god's-sake-let-it-go-will-you barnacle encrusted throne to Sir Alex Ferguson for refusing to leave Old Trafford after retiring thus undermining the present,and any future,manager.
The inaugural duck face no Selfie respect IPhone goes to Cameron,Obama & Thorning-Schmidt for their Instagram mugging at Mandela's memorial.
The Geldof I'll-name-that-tune-in-one J.Arthur Rank gong to Kayne West for calling his daughter "North".She'll just have to be thankful he's not a Hitchcock fan otherwise she'd be "North by North".
The return of the Britney Spears Oops i did it again dropped chalice to the England Cricket team for their pre 2005 form in Australia.
The annual off-with-his-head sword of Damocles to any football manager who does'nt win every game his team plays.Especially relevant to any below tenth in any division.
The Ian Duncan Smith Thick as mince but ego of Piers Morgan flashing neon klaxon to many football chairmen for their summary sacking of good managers and meddling with their clubs history.
The Miley Cyrus The-lady's-not-for-twerking party plastic buttocks to Lilly Allen for her video purporting to show up sexism/racism in pop music by using sexy black women twerking vigorously.Irony eh?
The Methuselah diamond encrusted Zimmer frame to Ryan Giggs for being the only person to ever reach the age of 40...
The Morrissey I-bear-more-grudges-than-lonely-high-court-judges memorial gavel to Fergie,Roy Keane and to Mozza himself.
The Ben Elton Oh-bit-of-politics-there lifetime peerage to Russel Brand.Stick to the faux Dickensian monologues mate...
The There's-a-bandwagon-a-coming-i'd-better-get-on-it-quick Gravy boat train award goes to David Cameron for all his policies since coming to power...
Finally;The good people lost to the world this year;
Seamus Heaney
Christopher Martin Jenkins
Frank Keating
Cecil Womack
Reg Presley
Richard Briers
Maxine Powell
Richard Griffiths
Hugo Chavez
James Herbert
Phil Ramone
Anne Williams
Richie Havens
Jim Mortimer
Paul Shane
Ray Manzarek
Bill Pertwee
Tom Sharpe
Henry Cecil
Elmore Leonard
Lou Reed
David Frost
James Gandolfini
Mick Aston
Bernadette Nolan
Anna Wing
Mel Smith
Iain Banks
JJ Cale
Mick Farren
David Jacobs
Tom Clancy
Phillip Chevron
Felix Dexter
Nigel Davenport
John Cole
Doris Lessing
Ray Gosling
Bill Foulkes
Lewis Collins
Peter O'Toole
Nelson Mandela
RIP.
