Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#61

Just bumped into the couple I keep bumping into and we actually spoke.They’re from Stockholm just for a break and we all agreed it was a bit nuts the way we keep meeting…

It’s absolutely hammering it down.Stair rods I think the term is,there’s no wind so this is hanging around for a while.Sorry mom you were wrong about mizzle rain getting you wetter.This is the sort of rain that penetrates your skin and then five minutes later penetrates your very soul…luckily there was a pub ,with my bus stop directly next to it…

Gothenburg is much bigger than I imagined,ok I didn’t think it was some quaint fishing village in Cornwall but I was still surprised by how vast it is after mooching around today.It also has some magnificent buildings and a great tram system too…one of the trams has the destination “Angered” but it doesn’t go via Wolverhampton station more’s the pity( don’t worry if you don’t understand,Wolves fans will.) There’s also an area not far from me called Haga which freaked me out a little.It’s the old part of town which has lots of wooden buildings and it looks good in a cliched Swedish way.One street is all fancy shops and restaurants.You know the type of thing,antiques,deli’s,expensive clothing ( I was tempted to buy an authentic Nordic sweater but it was very very very costly) anyway all good but that’s only one street about 200 metres long.There are about another dozen criss crossing of the same length All completely empty and i found that a bit unsettling…

None of that matters anyway cos‘ it turns out I have been breaking the law since I have been here.It bugged me why none of the outside areas of cafes & bars had ash trays.I was still lighting up and then finding a drain or rubbish bin to put my dog ends.Only found out today it’s against the law to smoke in these areas and has been since 2019..Yikes!

Change of plan for my trip to Odense in Denmark on Sunday.For some reason the trains are a complete mess ( think lots of engineering works then triple that) and it would have taken the best part of 24 hours to get there from Gothenburg.I was searching for alternatives online then sitting outside a bar at lunchtime ( pre pissing down) a van went past from Stenna and a lightbulb switched on in my brain so I am now booked on an early ferry to Fredrikshvn in northern Denmark and I can get the train to Odense from there.Still gonna take nine hours in total but it‘s better than the alternative.Ferry was pretty cheap too.About £18 for just under four hours…happy with that.

On that note I’ll leave you be for the time being..,

One job to do today is to get down to the ferry dock and suss it out.I always like to get a good idea of the station I’m going from.Jusr the Lay-out etc.It sounds nuts but at these big European stations can be confusing and it’s not even that clear where the platforms are at times especially if you’re running late & a bit frazzled…

The other thing is find an Irish bar( there’s loads) that’s got the football on.I know it’s Man City,I know they have that freak show up front and I know in all probability we‘ll get done by six or seven but I don’t 100% know and that’s the beauty of it….

Tomorrow‘s Blog might be written from a ferry in the Baltic Sea so will be later than usual as no doubt I’ll be celebrating a shock win tonight and smoking well away from the pub too…

Laters me hearties..,

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#60

Trip from Oslo to Gothenburg was fine,absolutely pissing down when I left but a measly 300 km further down south and it’s lovely and sunny…

Train was almost empty and I was sat alone in a small compartment.Had to check with the guard if I was in first class by mistake but he was laughing at me so I figured I was ok,We came to my favourite place name,Ed( yep the town is called Ed) just after the Swedish border with Norway and a little old lady sat opposite me.There were loads of empty seats but she chose that one so what can you do ? We exchanged the glance,you know the one,it says I have acknowledged your existence and your right to sit anywhere but don’t expect a conversation…

About ten minutes later she suddenly said “Do you like the view?” In English .Of course I had to respond with “ yes,how did you know I was English” she said it was her go to language when talking to a stranger for the first time…anyway we ended up having a great convo for the next two hours..She was a retired history & English Literature teacher( I didn’t mention this blog) and she was off to a huge book fair in Goteborg ( yes she taught me how to say it properly) Anyway we covered a wide range of topics and seemed to be of a like mind on most of them…ended up a good trip…

Second impression of Gothenburg is very favourable.My first was hanging around the station for no good reason a few days ago…got some cash from the Beuro de Change and sorted out a tram ticket easily finding the digs.Turns out I’m close to the docks in what looks a lively and historic part of town.As I have mentioned before I like ports so this is ideal…

Only been here a few hours and already had bits of interaction with four people and all of them have been positive so I’m looking forward to the next three days…found a bar of course and it seems ok.There are plenty about to choose from.This one even has beermats which seems a bit of a rarity in Scandinavia as it does in the UK for some reason…anyway a pint of Weißbier was £7 so still expensive but a bit more London than Oslo…

That’s all for the moment but no doubt will be back later.Cheers…

Back again.Liking Gothenburg so far.Seems laid out a bit weirdly but I’ll get a better idea tomorrow morning when I go exploring…the part I’m in is right next to the trendy area apparently but obviously trying to muscle in on that vibe.Seems ok…I keep forgetting it’s not summer and it’s now dark at 7-30pm.Only got 20 days left and still have 7 places to visit on my itinerary…I think,losing track now…

Ps Was just outside the hotel having a smoke and a woman opposite opened her curtains and did a little jig for ten seconds.Fully clothed I might add.Does this mean we’re engaged?

Pps You know that weird thing when you keep bumping into the same people over a short time who you’ve never met before? Especially on holiday…arrived with a young couple,they’re in the room next door and we have seen each other four times since.Not Seen some of my neighbours that many times in 20 years… we are giving each other the “ what’s going on?” Look…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#59

We have all seen those desperately dark Scandi murder series where all the protagonists are almost always ragged,weather beaten individuals,it’s always so cold that when they speak steam emerges from their mouths like speech bubbles and one jumper is made of an entire sheep’s wool…you won’t be surprised to hear I have not witnessed any of that whilst here…

Like the Scots we assume all Scandi’s to be dour folk who’s countenance is always downbeat and their conversation is solem.All i have heard both here in Norway and Denmark is chatty locals laughing & joking around.Granted things might be very different in the depths of winter and also I have yet to stray out of the confines of Gothenburg station whilst in Sweden and they could be very different beasts all together…I get the feeling the Swedes are seen very much like the English are in the UK by the rest of Scandinavia…

Never got on the boat ride.In the morning it was lashing down and visibility was very poor so I gave it a miss then after pottering about a bit I had a long lunch in an Italian restaurant down by the harbour which took a lot longer than usual owing to the great food,beer and a very chatty Polish waitress.The place was practically empty so we had time to have a good natter…when I eventually left the boat trip had just left too with the next one being two hours away…ah well the pub it is then…

The pub was pretty packed which I couldn’t understand for 4pm on a Wednesday but there was a game on telly.It was a cup game, KJE v Molde…KJE are based just next to where I am staying ( not Skeid football club where I am now)  and are a division 2 team whereas Molde are a fairly big outfit in Norwegian football…I suppose it was played that early as the floodlights maybe aren’t up to scratch.The English cup equivalent would probably be something like Barnet v Newcastle…anyway good game,Molde won 1-0…the KJE ground looks like it holds about 2k and as you’d imagine was packed to the rafters…all good fun and I hope the club made some money out of it…

I have noticed a lot less smoking in Scandinavia than elsewhere I have been.The locals in general seem a very healthy outdoors lot.Must be all the hills…a very sporty lot these Nordic types.

After a shower & breakfast I’m off to Gothenburg in Sweden.Have already been there of course but only to the station for two hours which wasn’t great but I’m sure there’s better things to see…still got a few hours left on my Oslo ticket to get to the station in time too…

So I would definitely recommend Oslo for a few days but save up first cos’ as I have said ad nauseam it’s bloody expensive! So be prepared for that.At least I didn’t question every transaction outwardly but the inner dialogue was like “ bloody hell that’s ££££’s in English money” Probably not a good idea to blame those serving you for the excessive prices…

Anyway that’s me,gotta jump in the shower and get ready for the nearly four hour journey to Gothenburg,which is not too bad.I don’t have to change and the trains are good …laters peeps.

Ps I am now getting more used to paying by card.I still prefer cash to be honest and I do find it odd paying by card for a coffee although in saying that I was more than happy for the card facility at the Copenhagen toilets!

Pps Think the kids are leaving the same time as me as they’re all in the breakfast area.The staff have that relived look on their faces and the kids are very subdued,no doubt not being used to 7am…which is something they will have to get used to for all of their adult life.It kinda sucks…haha

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#58

“ Nursing a pint” strange expression isn’t it? Well I’m in a normal Oslo bar and a pint of local lager in here is £9-55…so i am not only nursing it,I’m Florence Nightingaling the life out of the fucker…I don’t know why the prices are so high here,I assume the wages compensate as most of the locals appear comfortably well off.Suppose it has two factors in it’s favour.1) When Norwegians travel abroad they feel like millionaires and 2) it deters the dreaded stag parties that blight cheaper European cities from visiting & imparting their own inimitable brand of international cordiality on these poor unfortunate places…

Been for a decent look around Oslo today.Seems an ok,clean & cool city,as you’d probably expect from a Scandi county.There are a good smattering of tourists about.Many would be intrigued by the whole Scandi thing,as I am,partly because it seems a bit isolated,which always adds a certain mystery,and allure,Especially Norway,Sweden and Finland and of course we’ve seen the photos of those magnificent fjords with the sheer rock faces that appear to come from the depths of the ocean to kiss the sky…

Those are mostly on the extreme west facing the North Sea and no doubt many of the tourists are heading out there too…Oslo doesn’t have that sort of dramatic scenery but I think it does ok on that front.I may find out tomorrow  on a local boat trip as long as I don’t have another pint and price myself out of the market… 

I did find a nice little local coffee shop where I got a good double Americano for under three quid so it’s not all madness,and yea after breakfast tomorrow I’m making a date to go there again.I must temper my keenness to get out exploring though.I forget that many European cities hardly open any of their shops till gone 10am and if you’re dossing around at 9am you think it’s a ghost town…the coffee shop only took card payment( this after I’d been to the ATM too) fair enough.The place I had lunch by the harbour took both but the girl said they don’t have any coins so any cash payment is card or paper cash only( the smallest cash note is a 50) I had to box clever so I wasn’t too much out of pocket and she still got a tip…it’s a minefield!

The place I’m staying in is linked with Skeid football club( I think) as their ground is just next door.It’s up on a hill in what looks quite a prosperous area.Think Tettenhall or Compton in Wolverhampton.Luckily there’s a tram stop at the bottom of the hill,the terminus,so if I get pissed( some hope) and crash out I will eventually wake up at one of the last stops…anyway that school sports party might be the club trying to find new talent to fill out championship midfields with industrious,no nonsense players and hopefully one freak who will end up scoring a hundred goals a season for Man City…

Believe or not I have run out of things to say at the moment.It does happen occasionally you know.No doubt pseseses to follow after publishing…

Ps So I’m still here three pints in.Thought I was just gonna have one.It’s a good pint I will say that.It’s called Frydenlund.Sod it I’m on holiday,or am I? Once you’ve retired are you on holiday or just arsing around somewhere other than where you normally do? I don’t know…

Pps Ah the football,or more specifically Wolves…it seems I have done the opposite of the fella in “Airplane “ saying he’s picked the wrong time to give up sniffing glue,looks like I have picked exactly the right time to be away from it all for 3 months…not expecting any magical upturn in our fortunes when I get back though…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#57

Palava: I think the English Oxford dictionary describes it as lots of unnecessary fucking around and today has been palava filled for me…

Make yourselves comfortable boys & girls this could be a long one…

Things started slightly awkwardly as I decided I wasn’t walking to Copenhagen station at 6am and as I‘d downloaded the local transport app thought I’d get a bus ticket.My bank kept rejecting it.Tried it a few times then realised I’d put the wrong expiry date in.Not only that but once I sussed it I did it again! 

Got the bus ok in the end and to the correct destination,in the dark too…my Interrail  app was still showing I needed seat reservations despite being told I didn’t so thought I’d check.Another woman said why not get the train leaving in ten minutes to avoid any questions being asked( the reservations were on the Swedish side so she wasn’t 100%  sure how things worked) which is why I went to Helsingborg instead of my original destination.That was fine,and she helped a lot…there however were the two dreaded words of every British traveler.Bus replacement…Ersättningsbuss in Danish,which I’m sure you knew…

Got to Helsingborg and found the bus station.There was a half hour wait and I think I pissed the woman off as we’re going to a place called “ Bästad” which of course I pronounced “Bastard” and she kept correcting me to no avail.Got to Bästad and it really is a bastard of a town judging by the station.Basically two bus stops with rail tracks in between.I suggest they put a recording of Sean Bean on a loop saying “Bastard” in his flat Northern vowels every couple of minutes,maybe have a guest appearance every Christmas…anyhoo I thanked the woman & coach driver.Am I the only one that does this on bus replacements? Been on three now and not seen anyone else thank the staff…

I was getting hungry but could’nt see a bastard shop at Bastard Bästad station so thought I’d wait till we get to Gothenburg where I had a two hour wait anyway.Plenty of time.Then it dawned on me I had no Swedish money.When doing my going abroad card thingy with my online banking I’d failed to take into account these nine hours I’d be here.Trouble is if you try to change the dates to include today‘s date it won’t allow it…luckily I always have some cash,found a beuro de change and luckily the guy changed €10 for me…

First shop I tried they didn’t take cash second shop I tried they did but their register had busted.The third shop did. and I just had enough for two ham & cheese bagels which were such a disappointment I ended up giving half to the couple of crows that had befriended me outside…

So hung around,got my train to Oslo( very nice & comfy) there was hardly anyone on it to my surprise and it only began to fill up as we got close to Oslo…spent much of the journey looking out the window trying to find a Beuro de change in Oslo station online but they seemed to only have ticket machines and I couldn’t use my card because for some reason all the countries I have chosen on the app to use my card in the dates start the day after I get there.Clearly I have done something wrong somewhere and when using Euro it’s not a problem as I always have some cash Euros…Denmark,Sweden & Norway don’t…

Got into Oslo about twelves hours after starting out,managed to get change for some Euros.No time to barter either,or shop around,it was pissing down,I was tired etc so got a taxi to the hotel. It’s a trek but I was happy to be here then realised a school sports party had just turned up and guess who was stuck behind them in the queue at reception? I found myself getting more & more pissed off with a few “oh for fuck’s sake” under my breath but then took a step back and thought “Jesus calm down,they’re only kids excited about being here.Stop being a dick” so I stopped being a dick, went outside for a smoke and got myself sorted out…I think it’s some sporting academy as the place I’m in is close to a sports centre…

Anyway the room’s nice,en suite and I have booked in For breakfast too.The rooms are Chalet type things in line so our front is facing the opposite bedrooms.Just outside my door is a table with three chairs where I can have a coffee & smoke but I have to sit with my back to the opposite chalets as that’s where the kids are based and good god almighty can you imagine if I’m seen facing them having a smoke playing with my phone? Think I’ll be kicked into the harbour! 

So that was my day travelling through Denmark,Sweden & Norway.On reflection it wasn’t too bad it’s just that the whole money thing threw me off guard.At least I know what to do when I  return to Sweden & Denmark in a few days.My card kicks in tomorrow in Norway so I can get cracking with sorting stuff out.Until then laters…Bastards.

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#56

Straight off the bat let me say that Copenhagen is a fantastic city and by extension probably Denmark is a fantastic country…I have seen so little of both yet my spider senses tell me that’s the case.I think if you feel comfortable as soon as you arrive in a country you’ve never been to before that’s a positive sign…

 

Needed my laundry doing sometime today( literally down to my last clean t-shirt) place opened at 9.00am in the hostel,I was there on the dot and spoke to a beautiful young woman who had a striking resemblance to Anya Taylor Joy.Turned out she was a Brummie and it was her first day working here.What a start for her dealing with a smelly Yamyam! 

They only have one washing machine and it was in use.One of her co workers had put her washing in before it opened.What an absolute cheat! But to be fair she apologised and bought me a coffee so I was’nt bothered,she also told me to go for a walk and she’ll do my washing for me…got back a few hours later,washing done and a crisp,slightly wrinkled,ten Euro note was on top.I had left it a shirt pocket.How sweet is that? Ok they don’t use Euro’s here but she was French and could have easily pocketed it without me knowing…

Chatting with Anya Taylor Joy and she’d been in Denmark a week and was obviously wanting to stay and for the first time on this trip Brexit was discussed.Not been mentioned by any non Brit I have spoken to.Bloody hell I’ve discussed the Nazis with Germans more than Brexit! Anyway she’s a sweet girl and I wish her well…

Popped out for another coffee( one is never enough,like beer) and lots of market stalls were being set up.Apparently this street holds quite a famous flea market.The coffee place is just down the road and as I was outside probably half a dozen people walked past wishing me “ good morning “ I presume it was anyway as obviously it was Danish so could have easily been “ Piss off Yamyam,you speak funny and your team’s crap” I felt like telling them I lived in London and don’t they know the rules of engagement? 

Later on I popped into 7/11( still a thing here) grabbed something Italian and squishy,paid by card( as I have for everything so far) as I was about to leave she called me back and naturally I figured my card had messed up.Nope,she made a sign around her mouth & chin,gave me a handful of paper napkins and said “ extra tissues for the beard” It’s these needless but genuine human interactions that have made me appreciate this city and it’s people…

After a nostalgic Tuborg ( ex diehards of Kipps in Wolverhampton will get my excitement of seeing it on tap) in the coffee place I went to I took a stroll through the market,it’s the whole street basically and my eyes fell upon a rack of second hand leather jackets and good lord they looked beautiful.For a brief moment I was tempted to shell out a ton to buy one.For a split second I thought I would look like a Desperado,like a young Lemmy in it but then reality kicked in and I would look completely & utterly the “C” word and the “C” word would not be “Cool”

That’s it for now but there might be a PS or two later…laters.

Ps The barmaid at the hostel has just told me “ bye” is “ Hi hi” It’s a bit of a mad language!

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#55

Nearly five hour train from Hamburg to Copenhagen.It was fine and in truth might  be 

I’m the easiest bit of the Scandi bit of the tour.My trip to Oslo on monday is over ten hours for instance..,can’t whinge too much,my decision an’ all that…

Trouble was I could feel my stomach doing that thing it does when the wind is trapped( this will be graphic so in time honoured fashion of football commentary we apologies for any industrial language)  it started with about an hour to go to Copenhagen and the train toilets were permanently occupied.I held on till the destination anyway but there were two full trains arrived at the same time and it took ages just getting up to the concourse…

Of course I had no idea where the WC was and when I found it I prayed they had debit card facilities cos’ obviously I had no Danish Kronor…they did and by this time I really was shuffling like an old man cos’ things were close to the edge as Yes probably sang ( sorry if you’re offended by this but it’s perfectly normal bodily functions and I’m sure all of us have been in this horrible position before) I didn’t realise Copenhagen station WC is unisex.Not a problem but but everyone by the cubicles was female and when I got in I made noises which would make the demon from the Exorcist say “ what the fuck was that”

Half an hour I was in there,several flushes and no doubt plenty of stifled giggles from the other side of the door.I wouldn’t blame them cos’ if  I’d heard it I’d be laughing my arse off too…an ironic term of phrase in the circumstances.So that was my introduction to Copenhagen…sounds horrible but if you’ve been in the same situation,as I’m sure many of you have,you’ll know at that one moment you’ll sell your (ar)soul for a functional toilet…blah blah blah.All cleaned up and able to walk properly I need to get yet another reservation for the Oslo trip in Two days..,

The woman couldn’t have been nicer and more professional.She said on her readout I did’nt need one but there were some other alterations to what I had on the app and she printed them all out for me ( the Interrail app is accurate but not always 100% up to date) We made each other laugh which for officialdom is not easy..,Another plus for Copenhagen.

Hostel was about a 10 minute walk from the station along the river,it was very nice,especially dodging the showers( Primark jacket came into It’s own here) and the hostel was easy to find.I had forgotten about the place I had booked is a 100% non profit place staffed by volunteers with any money made after bills and rent  goes to overseas aid…it’s basically the ultra “Woke” hostel and I love it being an old lefty…actually besides all that it’s a pretty cool building too.Oh and they have a laundry too so I’m making a date tomorrow,they also have a bar & live music and the prices are reasonable…another plus for Copenhagen.

The hostel seems to be in a Hackney type area.Only been to one bar over the road and again the barmen couldn’t have been more helpful and chatty & charming.They also did killer chips,big and chunky and proper.It’s not cheap,but the hostel has equalised 

that…another plus for Copenhagen.

So I’d say Copenhagen is winning comfortably at the moment.The beginning of my Scandi trip has started well and I’m only here for another 36 hours too..,

They have an event on tonight,live band I think,maybe poetry.It’s packed with Copenhagen’s hippest young crowd and probably has the cheapest booze in town.No point in going elsewhere really…I ended up staying the night chatting to a lovely Norwegian woman named Kari…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#54

If you are a long time reader of this blog you’ll no doubt recall the kerfuffles I had with getting reservations for seats on certain trains in Italy & France.They we‘re hideously expensive,well over €20 and once I waited an hour in a queue to get one without success so had to wing it and got fined…my Interrail app always had big bold red letters saying I needed one.Yesterday I looked and in subtle blue it said “ Reservations recommended “ No way am I falling for that trickery and as I was going through Hamburg station I got one.A ten minute wait at a cost of under €5…those other trains in Italy & France probably had 800 on board,a seat reservation at over €20 a pop is a nice little earner for them…

Moaning out of the way.Yesterday was a visit to Lüneburg to see the Belle of Whitmore Reans,Rikky.The day had beer,fish & chips,walking,socks,ice cream,red light district,history and weird Grimmesque local customs involving,I think,adult males,bottle tops & young virgins… 

First off I hopped on the train to Kiel at Hamburg by mistake but quickly realised it was wrong as even though the display said Lüneburg the actual train was down the other end of the Olympic sized platform…then the train stopped in a small station just outside Lüneburg for half hour apparently due to Polizei actions and when it pulled into Lüneburg West I stayed on thinking there was one more stop to Lüneburg Hauptbahnhof…if you call yourself “Lüneburg West” is’nt It logical to assume there’s at least one more station? There isn’t and more & more people were getting on which puzzled me just for one stop.Eventually I sussed that this was the big station…and this train was soon heading back to Hamburg,anyhoo after some frantic messages myself & Rikky bumped into each other and we walked into town…

I had seen some pics of Lüneburg on Rikky‘s posts before but it’s still hard to envisage how a place looks from isolated photos.I was surprised at how medieval the place is.Many of the buildings date back 500 years or so and I’m  sure there are pedantics who will say “Um actually that’s not medieval “ but it’s the go to description of something with olde worlde charm…it looks with the denizens of Lüneburg are rightly proud of their town and take good care of it…

Rikky did the tour guide job excellently pointing out the history and the hot,or not hot,drinking dens.Even though I’d been a bit of a clueless tourist with the trains she didn’t feel the need to carry a flag on a stick for me to follow…

A detour was made for socks at C & A.I did the cliched man bit of wanting to head straight for what I needed whilst Rikky did the “ oh look they have a thing that I like over there” several times.They put the blokes section on the top floors in these shops for a reason.It’s not an accident…of course I picked up the first pack of socks and then got reminded about sock sizes( look if you’re a bloke and the socks aren’t kids socks they will fit yea?) 

A few hours was spent having lunch,beer and general shooting of the breeze in a local brewery/ restaurant thingy.Very nice it was too…more walking and I got shown the Red Light District of Lüneburg.The dark seedy underbelly if you will…Imagine if there was a Disney version of Pretty Woman and this is where she‘d ply her trade.Reeperbahn or Soho it’s not…it’s Frozen on the Game( I’m copyrighting that btw) Where the dashing young prince gallantly rescues the fallen woman who,wouldn’t you know it,happens  to be a princess or something.Starring Hugh Grant & Grace Kelly…

More walking around looking at beautiful buildings and their history then back into the main square where some people had scattered hundreds of bottle tops and a bloke was picking them up( I think) it was explained to me that if an unmarried man reaches 30 his friends make him do a humiliating forfeit until a young virgin shows up or something,I really don’t know so probably best to ask Rikky as German folklaw always sends me into a tailspin with It‘s complete & utter nuttiness…as far I know no virgin showed up so we got ice cream,hugged it out and I got on my train back to the big city… 

I would never have known of Lüneburg‘s existence if Rikky didn’t live there.I imagine there’s loads of these small towns dotted about brimming with history.So thanks for showing me around Rikky.The hostess with the mostest…

Now I’m getting packed for a trip to Copenhagen,Oslo,Gothenburg & Odense…

Laters all…ciao.

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 day#53

Fate sometimes has a habit of occasionally reminding you it’s still around.After banging on about how much fitter I’m feeling both physically & mentally.Not quite up there with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson but y,know it’s all relative,Fate decided to test my resolve a wee bit…

Tea brewed,shorts & t-shirt with smokes,phone and hotel entrance card in my pocket( triple tapped to make sure I have it.Don’t want to be locked out the place at 6-30am) went to pop outside for a smoke and as soon as I opened the door I knew something was up.The noisy cranky little lift was sitting there with the doors open but crucially the lift floor level was not level with the 4th floor floor level…ah shit.No amount of button pressing was moving that thing,You could be Tommy the Pinball Wizard and it’s not moving..,

But I was committed now so down the stairs I go.To be fair downstairs is easy,even Steven Hawking would find it a piece of piss.But back up was much harder.The four floors are probably akin to six in these blocks…made it though in probably half the time it would have taken a few months back.Luckily it was fixed by the time I came back from my day/night out…

Last night was a bit special for me as my favourite bar in Hamburg is still open.It’s a pokey little dive called St Pauli Eck and It’s in one of the streets off Reeperbahn.I was worried a lot of these tiny little bars that I love both here and in Berlin would fall foul of Covid and be killed off but none have unlike in the UK.Wonder why that is? I have my own ideas why but answers on a postcard please…walked in,about six people there,got my bottle of Astra at €2-30 a bottle and went to the bog…landlady comes storming in as I was in the ladies with cheered the locals up.Ah well,I stayed for a good few hours and got asked a few times where I was from.A lovely Dutch woman got me a shot sent over etc All in all very pleasing evening…

Off to Lüneburg today to catch up with the West Midlands pin up girl Rikky,it’s her hometown and is about half hour south of Hamburg.Luckily it’s also part of the Hamburg transport ticket too…Should be fun.I may also have to indulge in some sock buying from Primark as my laundry is due to be done but only really desperate for the socks.The rest can wait…I’m sure Rikky will tell me if I smell bad in that honest way German’s have…

Then tomorrow I have an early train to Copenhagen at the start of a short Scandi tour which covers Denmark,Norway,Sweden and back to Denmark…all of them have their own currency so that’s gonna be fun.Yes I can just use my card and for most of the time I will but I still like cash in my hand too.Not in a Farage conspiracy the lizards are taking over way.I just like using cash…

Probably best if I don’t mention to the Danes we gave them a bloody nose in Wolverhampton in 910(ish) The dormant Viking might come out and give me a bloody nose back…it does give me a chance to learn three crucial things in three languages though. Those being “Please” “ Thank You” and “Fucking how much?”

Until tomorrow.Ciao..,

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#52

I forgot to mention at the end of yesterday’s blog that as I was preparing to leave the bar I’d been in on the Portuguese strip,went to the toilet and was going to thank the landlady( I had already been there three hours longer than I‘d planned) she said I had a beer in the tap.Apparently the Portuguese lad,Andre,had put one in for me before he left without me knowing…so that was cool of him.Stayed a bit longer of course and got chatting to two Newcastle fans( they said) who were on a business trip but seemed more interested in where Reeperbahn was than the fact that their game in Milan was starting soon..,

Anyway I was up at 4am today.Not in an old man having to take a pee then back to bed way either but a proper up making tea,scrolling the internet and popping downstairs for a smoke way.This used to be common practice with me.My sleeping pattern was shot to pieces and has been for years but since being on this trip I have slept pretty well,nowhere near the eight hours supposedly needed,don’t think I know anyone who sleeps that long,but decent shut eye… it may be the trip I’m on or it may be having retired.I probably had stress due to work and insomnia was mainly how it manifested itself…

Us men rarely fess up that work is causing us stress,it’s a bit of a macho conceit on our part.If we admit we’re stressed due to work it’s somehow seen as an admission of failure on our part we feel Not everyone of course but a big enough number…so mentally I’m in better shape than for a long time and certainly physically.I‘m smoking more and certainly drinking more than usual on the trip but I feel healthier than I have for years.In the wise words of James Brown “ I feel good.Huh!”

Back in Schlump( great name!) where I was this morning to take a puntastic pic.This time it’s beer not coffee though.Went to an Italian place near the Hauptbahnhof earlier and it cheered me no end that between the waiter & me using pidgin English,pidgin German and pidgin Italian we managed to work things out,I got what I wanted and he got payed and a tip.It probably sounded terrible but the job was done in a round about way…

Made the mistake of coming out of U-3 at the bus station earlier.If you ever come to Hamburg avoid the bus station if you can.As I came up the stairs there was a lot of hubbub going on and it seems all of the city‘s “ damaged” people had gathered together at the top of the exit in a sort of “Walking Dead” kind of way.Luckily I had some spare entrails to spread over myself to blend in…to be fair they were no bother but I could well see how many would be intimidated.Just don’t light up a smoke within stumbling distance or have eye contact…maybe I have been to the wrong places but there does seem to be more people who have slipped through the societal cracks here than most places I have visited.The Hauptbahnhof is another place to avoid as mush as possible.It doesn’t help to Have so many exits…

I am painting Hamburg rather harshly I know and I really don’t mean to,it’s a sound,grand place but also there’s no point in me glossing over obvious problems a city has otherwise those that read this and either live there of have visited will know I’m bullshitting if I say  all is hunky dory…

If you do come make sure you visit the warehouse district close to the docks.There are some stunning buildings there and close by.It’s one of those places where you can marvel at how creative & skilled us humans can be…then when you look at the extensive docks with their cranes dominating the skyline you can also get both wistful & angry about the decline in both our own sea faring heritage and industrial might…shame is too mild a word to describe it.Disgust is probably closer… 

My early start wasn’t totally wasted however as I did clean up my phone of unwanted apps…when I finalised where I was visiting on the trip I downloaded an app for each city.Never looked at any of them,not a one.So after that I had a look at what other useless apps I had…“Nah,hardly use it“ “ don’t remember downloading that” “ what the hell is even that one” It’s cathartic…and soon Twitter will join them on the scrap heap if Ego Musx starts charging and kills it stone dead in its tracks….

Anyway that’s for another debate on a different platform probably…laters boys & girls.

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#51

I wasn’t sure what the area of Hamburg I was staying in would be like.It’s called Hammerbrook,which to my mind conjectured up images of Heavy Metal Norse Gods or at least some spotty kid in their bedroom playing a game called Hammerbrook…what I hadn’t envisioned was a large area of office blocks with maybe only one bakery,one bus stop and an S Bahn station to facilitate the daily commute…oh and roadworks.Lots and lots and lots of roadworks…

Anyway.The hostel is on the top floor of one of the office blocks with a lift that can maybe take one person and a small trolly of laundry at a push,it also makes alarming noises when it moves.It’s ok though,clean and seems secure with access through at least three doors via card…but sadly there’s no local bar as,well,there’s no local bars…I can use the place I was in last night and is fine as I mentioned but even though getting there is fine( it’s about a 5 minute walk) getting back is a pain as they close the steep steps(yea I’m doing steep steps now) after dark due to it being dark I suppose…it took about an hour to get back,although I think I can half that as I know what the score is now…

To be totally honest I’m not that bothered about the centre of Hamburg ( sorry Rikky) It’s ok of course,big city etc,good bits,bad bits…but I love the docks,St Pauli and Altona.I like the juxtaposition of alternative,so called “woke” lifestyle and sleaze.It appeals to me on a very basic level…Reeperbahn is much like I imagine certain parts of Soho were like back in the day.Exciting in a grubby kind of way with every walk of life attracted to the area from the naive curious tourist all the way to the embittered cynical street hustler…but these areas also had  the artistic ,Bohemian types too.The mixture can be ruinous & intoxicating in equal measure.I have always been drawn in by this and even at my advanced age I find it hard to resist…walk away from the strip that is Reeperbahn and go down the side streets there are plenty of great little bars among the dodgy sex clubs….no pretence.It is what it is and has been for many decades..,

At the moment I’m in a bar down by the docks in the Portuguese quarter.Ports have always fascinated me also.The transient mixed with the firmly established…probably in this area a Portuguese sailor one went “ fuck it I’m staying here” got his family over,maybe opened a small cafe,got friends & family jobs and so on and so forth and over time a Portuguese quarter( or maybe a small enclave) was born and is now thriving with shops & restaurants both sides of one Straße…it’s a story common in all ports just with different nationalities in different ports.I love it…

No doubt will do some more navel gazing later…ciao for now.

Ps Things just got weird.As I said earlier I’m in the Portuguese quarter and just saw a load of Porto fans…really couldn’t work it out but turns out they’re playing Shakhtar Donetsk at the HSV ground tonight…Just spoke to one but he wasn’t one he was a Brazilian lad but I mentioned Gomes & Chuna and we shook hands and left it at that!

Pps Later on i chatted to a young Portuguese lad who had lived in Hamburg for five years cos’ he fell in love with a local girl whilst on a work trip here and stayed.Life can sometimes change totally on one random decision…Andre ( the fella) said he had to stay a day longer as the work he was assigned to wasn’t quite finished and that’s the day he met his future wife…life is beautiful sometimes.

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#50

Half century.Hold my bat up to acknowledge the crowd but if I go on to make a hundred it’s gonna mean I’m in hospital or prison…

On that note sitting on the train to Hamburg at Berlin HBF waiting for the starting pistol.Already been booted out of a reserved seat which the fella may well regret cos‘ as I strolled up the train to find a seat a family sat down behind him with a screeching nipper.Sometimes I’m glad possession is only nine tenths of the law.I got away with one there…still AirPods are a must and I have a Clash mind today…

Had a bit of a “tut tut cough cough” from two Americans at a riverside bar when I sat at their table outside in the blazing sun and lit up a smoke.This is Europe people,we smoke,we drink,we get paid holidays,lots of paid holidays,we have affordable health care.Get over it…cough cough.

Very sad to be leaving Berlin,it’s my kind of town,but also very happy to be going to Hamburg,which is also my kind of town.I’m a bit flighty like that…Got five days there anyway.Gives me lots of time to suss out parts I’ve not seen before…Oh Spanish Bombs just came on.Probably my favourite Clash tune…Last time I was in Hamburg I was down St Pauli way just off Reeperbahn but this time I’m in the south which looks a bit more staid.We will see…

The boat I stayed in was good.Well worth staying if you don’t mind things a wee bit rough & ready.It certainly wasn’t a luxury cruise liner.It was cool though and just a short walk from the U-Bahn….

I ended the night in Madonna…let me rephrase that…I ended the night in the Madonna Bar.That lack of apostrophe can be confusing.Chatting to the landlord before it got busy about the area where it is,Kreuzberg,…it’s my favourite part of town and has always had a reputation as a part of town with an alternative,hedonistic party party party atmosphere.I always assumed it was partly a legacy of the Wall to show the guards how much fun they could have in West.A sort of “ Bullseye” Let’s see what you could have won vibe…

Kalle ( the landlord) explained I was partly right but it was by accident rather that design….Kreuzberg was one of the closest residential areas in West Berlin to the Wall,nobody wanted to live there and the place was falling apart and apartments we’re getting cheaper & cheaper.It was essentially a slum neighbourhood and so they plonked any migrant worker in there.Mostly Turkish,Greek & Italian and of course they began to settle,open cafes,social meeting spots etc

Meanwhile Germany still had conscription except if you lived in Berlin where you were exempt so of course more & more young Germans began moving to West Berlin to escape military service.Where do young people with no money move to? The cheapest area,which of course was Kreuzberg…

Over a short time the combo of young people & a vibrant immigrant community coalesced into a lively,cool,party town…more & more Young Germans & migrants moved in once the reputation grew.Squats grew up as essentially the Berlin authorities let them get on with it and just ignored what was going on.Maybe they saw the propaganda advances of letting  some GDR citizens see how much fun capitalism can be even if you’re poor.That was probably the idea…

Here ends the history lesson about one of my favourite spots…

See you later…

Ps Really happy to say a little bar next to one of the many Berliner Tor station exists is still open.It’s called Treff Bei Tassos and it’s run by the same landlady too.I thought Covid would kill it dead…Hamburg was my first ever stop when I toured Germany on my own for the first time in 2017.I couldn’t even order a beer properly but they all made me very welcome for the week I was here and even gave me a few free shots on my first night.Respect…prices still mad cheap.Three bottles of Astra €6-90.

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#49

This could be the last day of meaningful sun I get on this trip so the insect bitten cotton bud legs are on show today.They’re all healed thanks to the cream I got in Nuremberg but there’s little round scars dotted about the place.Ah well…

Seen the Forest Gate posse off at their local Turkish cafe this morning.After protracted goodbyes they were travelling a thousand km and I ventured twenty steps to the bus stop.Maybe the locals thought I do that every time I get the bus…

Yesterday was a strange day.Watched the game in Belushie’s next to Rosa-Luxemburg-Platz surrounded by Liverpool fans and a twenty strong stag party all dressed in fake lederhosen( I don’t know for certain they were fake but the real deal costs about a grand so I’m guessing here) All was well,one up and playing them off the park then half time came and I went for a smoke(you can’t smoke in German bars that do food)came back and the stag party,from North Wales incidentally,had taken my table.I couldn’t be arsed negotiating but then a couple of sound Aussie lads said I could join them.I was hesitant cos’ I thought they were Pool but turns out they just had money on them and all’s fair in that circumstance…they were Brighton fans and explained they hated Liverpool but you know , a bet’s a bet…

Ah well as the third went I had had enough and began buggering off then one of the FGP came in so we sat outside talking shit( he’s a Blackburn fan so it comes easy.Sorry Karl!) Blah blah blah.Karl went back to the hotel and we arranged to meet up in The Ashmore…then I got joined by some coked up rugger buggers and Jesus they were annoying as fuck.Being surrounded by coke fiends is hellish at the best of times but RB’s take it to another level…meanwhile the FLSP( Fake lederhosen stag party) had come outside and they were as good as gold…

Couple of bevvies in The Ashmore then off for a Turkish meal and a poor exasperated waitress then we sat outside the Turkish cafe/ off licence for the next three hours shooting the breeze and shooting the jäger shots…if you don’t know in Germany,or maybe specifically in Berlin,many Turkish off licences are also impromptu alfresco bars.You buy a beer,get the bottle opened and sit at the benches they put outside.I don’t know if it’s legal or if the authorities turn a blind eye but it’s a sweet set up which would probably never work in Britain…so a good night in the end.I got back to Warsaucher Straße U-Bahn Station just after 1am and the area was rocking( there’s a few clubs there) and wouldn’t you know it half the FLSP’s were there too.Looking far more sober & composed than they had any right too…

So saw the FGP off.Their flight is at 3pm and they get to the UK at 3-30pm…and tomorrow I’m off to Hamburg for five days and a meet up with Rikky,she that is know to many on Wolves twitter and an inexplicable lover of West Midlands satellite towns…looking forward to it but not really the trip.It’s a near 300km journey of wall to wall maize fields basically…look at me,not even started the journey and I’m moaning…

Until tomorrow lads & lasses…

Ps.Currently in one of my favourite Berlin bars called Madonna.Nothing to do with the singer.There’s religious iconography all over the place.It’s small and dingy( like me) and I’m glad to say the FGP loved it too.Anyway they have a comedy night later so basically write your own jokes here…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#48

There are many signs of old age that creep up on you and hit you like a half ender to the back of the head.Making inhuman noises when getting out of a seat for instance or saying “ ah that’s better” to yourself after having a sip of your first hot drink of the day…mine this morning was seeing a young couple out thinking “nice to see youngsters up at 8am” then realising they had probably been out clubbing for 12 hours and were on their way home…getting old sucks and don’t believe anyone who tells you different…

It was a full day yesterday.The FG Posse went out sightseeing and we met up in Charlie’s Beach Bar next to Checkpoint Charlie.It’s a good place and I recommend anyone to go there,and yes it is a sandy beach…

After that we met up again in the evening at The Ashmore.I was early as usual and got chatting to a couple of old chaps and through a combination of my broken German and their broken English established that I am now “ Scottish Man” to be honest it was easier to let it slide than go into a laborious explanation of where they’d gone wrong…then two young lads from Austria sat down so naturally we talked about Sasa and how good he is then things got really weird when one of the German blokes mentioned Hitler to the Austrian lads.I didn’t get the whole gist of what he was saying but judging by the looks on these lads faces it was something that shouldn’t have been uttered.Not long after I excused myself and rejoined the FG Posse…oh and neither the Germans or Austrians had ever heard of Liebfraumilch either…we never asked about Black Tower as that would have complicated matters…

Talking of Sasa, hopefully later on today I’ll see him bag a goal or two v Liverpool.I will be watching the game at Belushie’s next to Rosa-Luxembourg Platz U-Bahn Station.I have previously seen us beat West Ham(Adama last minute winner) and Chelsea(Nunes only contribution to Wolves) so I’m looking at the hat trick today…

Will post more later…ciao for now.

Just took a stroll down the East Side Gallery on my way to the shops.For those who don’t know it’s a mile long stretch of the Berlin Wall which has numerous paintings on it as a comment/celebration of the wall coming down.What struck me was the lack of graffiti on it.If you have been to Berlin,or indeed anywhere in Germany,you’ll know that nearly every space has some sort of graffiti on it but not this.Maybe it’s got special anti graffiti spray on it or something or maybe it’s so well respected that no one dares to touch it.Answers on a postcard please…

Been told off twice the last two days.Yesterday was in the beach bar when I forgot to flush the urinal.I normally remember but in my defence we don’t have them in the UK so it’s easy to forget and today I didn’t close the lid of the salad bar at REWE supermarket.Again in my defence they normally slam shut like a crocodile’s jaws.The checkout girl came rushing out jabbering away at me,which is probably the most she’s spoken to a customer in three years….anyway a simple hands up gesture and “es tut mir leid” ( Sorry) diffused both situations…

Anyway that’s all from the Scottish Man for today…possibly.

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#47

Berlin always surprises me…having a coffee outside a nice little cafe on. Rosa-Luxemburg Straße just by some traffic lights.Police van pulls up just past the lights in the middle of the street and four cops bundle out…oh what’s going here.They all pile into the cafe to get a coffee each…there a good couple of minutes much to the chagrin of other drivers.To be honest getting an early morning coffee is sometimes an emergency so fair enough I suppose…

Met up with the Forest Gate Posse yesterday and we of course ended up having a bit of a bevvy.Very nice too.We Met in a very local estate pub by their hotel( Think the Ashmore but with nice friendly people.One for my Wednesfield readers there) Between seven of us our drinks bill was €37.We had three drinks each…not too shabby eh? A bottle of Berliner was two Euros a pop…later we headed down to Kreuzberg and ended the night in a curry house.Definitely the best one I’ve had on this trip so far even though the waiter had no idea what Bombay Potatoes were(what!!!! A staple of any Indian surely?) Not sure what the plans are today,think they’re going sightseeing and we’re meeting up later…it was great to have a catch up with mates…

Been for a look at Max Schmeling Halle.He was married to my great aunt Anny Ondra and fought Joe Louis twice just before WW2 and of course the Nazis tried to appropriate him and use the fights as a race thing.Schmeling wanted no part in this but had little choice.I think the fact that him & Joe became close friends after the war shows his true worth and he also helped save a couple of Jewish children during the war too.So all in all a bit of a hero…

This is going to be a shorter that usual blog today but as I normally do I will probably do ad ons.The reason I publish this straight away is I have tried to save the text on a few occasions and each time inadvertently deleted the lot.Clearly I am doing something mind numbingly stupid but can’t work out what!

Ciao( until the updates anyway)

Ps Got my Berlin lighter.This might seem an odd thing but I have been collecting lighters of everywhere I stay.My old one died on me in Munich and I just bought the first one I saw which happened to be a “Munich” one and I just thought I’d start from there.Couldn’t get one in Budejovice but hey ho…like football stickers I’ll do a swapsy with one for a Ceske Krumlov!

Sorry it’s only. Short Blog today…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#46

Glorious sunshine today sitting in front of the iconic Oberbaumbrücke in Berlin on the river Spree having early morning coffee…I had initial doubts about how this boat thing would pan out but at the moment it’s pretty sweet…

The good thing about being an old bugger in a hotel with youngsters is that old buggers generally get up early and get first crack of the showers.The bad thing is the need for a few toilet trips during the night…especially after a few drinks,which is what I had last night…

First off went to a place I stayed by at Easter one stop away on the U-Bahn…was doing last night’s Blog there and got a message from the hotel I’d booked in Gothenburg saying my payment had failed and I needed to rectify it to keep the room.I really didn’t understand as I had paid in full and to be honest I was in a pub at 7pm and there’s no way I’m ringing hotels,booking agents & banks at that time.So after the initial shock had worn off I decided to let it slide until the morning…as I said ages ago I knew not all things would run smoothly so at times had to keep a cool head and sort things out calmly…anyway I messaged the hotel but didn’t really expect a reply until today but they did ten minutes later and explained it was the fault of the booking agents not them and my room is still fine…phew( I think.Things could change!)

Next I popped up one u-Bahn stop further to go to my favourite Berlin rock bar the Wild at Heart but it was closed.Think it only does Thursday to Sunday .Never mind.Went next door and ordered the most disgusting beer I can ever recall having.It was a bottle so not the bars fault…think it was called Flatz Maltz or something like that.Oh sweet lord it was a trial just to get through half of it.No good had to leave it and leave the bar out of shame…luckily there’s another bar next door called Madonna ( honest) sat down at the bar,ordered a trusty Weißbier and messed around with my phone.The barman( who turned to be the owner) leaned over saying “ You are a Wolverhampton fan yes?” “ huh? Er yea but how did you know?” “Saw the badge on your phone”

See the Wolves badge is instantly recognisable! Oh and few foreigners call us Wolves,it’s nearly always Wolverhampton…anyway we had a good natter.There were a few English in there apart from me and we discussed,amongst other things,the British thing of buying drinks in rounds.It’s not really a thing in Germany that much…oh he’s a Bayern Munich fan and very happy with Harry Kane too…

That’s it for the moment.Waiting for the arrival of my friends.There will probably be updates to this though…

Until then…ciao.

Ps By the way I successfully managed the gangplank onto the boat even after several bevvies.Let’s hope that remains the case!

 

Pps Had a text from the doctor asking me to fill out a health questionnaire.As I have been drinking & smoking like a sailor on shore leave for 6 weeks probably best to ignore it or do what we all do and lie and yes,I know the docs take the lies into account( don‘t they Lak?)

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#45

Noticed two things about Leipzig train station as I left today…it’s a huge Palace of a building but unlike most major German HBF‘s they have somewhat separated the shopping mall part from the station part.As you get off the platform you get the full effect of the cathedral like structure.A 25 platform iron hanger leads to a beautifully proud stone interior…the shops are mostly on two floors below.Think Mander Centre but twice as big,with much better shops and a lot cleaner… 

They‘ve also made great play of it being a non smoking station with signs everywhere telling you this.However take a walk past the hanger onto the rest of the open platform ( their platforms are loooooong,as are their inter city trains) and sure enough there’s a smoking area.It’s as if they said “ no smoking,definitely not,not here,but if you must do it in the open air”. Actually if you are near the smoking area when a train pulls in most of those using it are staff off the train.I don’t think Deutsche Bahn wanted the hassle of banning them from having a drag between shifts…also the tram dance too.This is not particularly a Leipzig thing but it was more noticeable here.Any big city with an extensive tram network has tram platforms long enough to accommodate three trams arriving one after another but all going to different destinations.Where to stand? 

I watched this unfold several times.One would come in,then another two and the platform would resemble one huge,but narrow,game of British Bulldog as people scrambled all over each other to get their tram.It’s great fun to watch…

Got to Berlin without too much hassle except my ticket on the app wouldn’t open when the guard came.After about 30 seconds he just said “ I’ll come back later.Don’t worry “ imagine a Brit guard doing that? Would never happen would it…all was fine though,got it open in the end and showed it…

My hotel in Berlin is a boat next to Oberbaumbrücke ,the well known and much photographed red brick bridge by the East Side Gallery.You’ve probably seen a pic without realising it’s in Berlin.Two towers in the middle and usually with an iconic Berlin yellow U-Bahn train inbetween the towers…so I’m almost under that…

To be honest the idea may be cooler than the reality as it’s a bit cramped with shared bogs & showers but we‘ll see.One way or another I‘ll have to make the best of it.The two women on reception seem as good as gold though and there’s a pop up bar up river with the most fed up looking teenage girl behind the bar you’re likely to see…as long as I don’t get Spree sick( here all week don’t forget to tip your waitress)

So tomorrow I’m being joined by friends flying over from East London.A quick namecheck in alphabetical order,Adzovi,Andrea,Andy,Bev,Hellen & Karl…it‘ll be good to see them but I worry that they may think I know more about the city than I really do.Basically whilst here I bum around without taking much in apart from soaking up the vibe of the place…maybe I’m doing myself a disservice and I know more about the place than I realise.We’ll see…either way it’s gonna be fun and I already have my little flag on a stick so they don’t lose me in the crowd…

Take care peeps and I’ll be back tomorrow and some of you I’ll see tomorrow too!

Ciao…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#44

Bit of an early one today whilst I wait for the laundry to be done.I’m back in the hotel room as the fella( Barman? Laundry Man? Laundbarperson ? I honestly don’t know) said come back at three and it’ll be waiting for you.I was sceptical of a bar/laundromat but it seems cool…anyway these blogs will be earlier the next five or six days as I’m in Berlin with some of my friends from East London way,only one of whom is yer actual Londoner of course…

This part of the tour is covering some familiar territory for me as I’m in Berlin then Hamburg for something like nine or ten days from tomorrow.Been to Berlin six or seven times and Hamburg three times.Obviously I have a lot of time for both cities… 

I have now got lorry driver arms.Both a lovely healthy looking suntanned brown whilst the rest of me is deathly white.In fact as I have both arms the same deep tan I can drive in both the UK and in Europe.Now all I have to do is learn how to drive…

Gonna head into town after the clothes are done.Had the best tomato soup I have ever had in a place called Spizz in the big market square( not surprisingly called Markt)This might not sound very exciting but believe me every mouthful was like heaven.If you come to Leipzig you have to go here and have some.Don’t bother ordering it as a starter as it’s a meal on its own…

As I’m back in Germany it’s natural my mind turns to traffic lights… as we all know German’s take their traffic lights seriously,it’s rare to see anyone here or in Austria cross when the little red man’s flashing( oeeerrr missus) Italy & Czechia we’re pretty much the same as was France unbelievably ( well almost) it seems to be only in Britain where the need to get to the supermarket ten seconds faster overrides the fact that we could be crushed under the wheels of the number 59 bus…I am more than happy to comply with the status quo whilst in Europe but I also know that once I get back to Blighty I will be  again pitting my wits against the 59…the trick is to make sure you have at least one person also crossing so you can manoeuvre yourself ensuring they’re between you & the bus…

I’ll miss Leipzig.Will definitely come again sometime.Maybe have a week here then a week in Berlin.Something like that…can’t see me doing another three month trek,if only because if I do then I use up all my allotted time in Europe in one go.You’re allowed 90 days out of 180 as a holiday maker before the need for special visas kicks in.The reason this is 80 days not 90 is that I took 10 days in Dusseldorf & Berlin at Easter…but then I couldn’t have used my terrible Phileas Fogg inspired title pun for  the blog could I? 

Good lord there’s some slightly dark clouds rolling in.Not seen any clouds at  all since I was in Stuttgart I think.Been solid bright blue sky since then…still bloody hot though…

Ah we’ll best go pick up my washing from our man over the road.I wanted to do the washing in Prague but no way would I be able to decipher the language in a self service place.At least the ones in France,Italy & Germany had some words I could recognise and interpret into something understandable…

Anyway laters peeps…

Ps Just had to stop myself from getting arsey with the young waitress here…they have some sort of weird system going on with table ordering and it seems I got forgotten about.When I was here the other day there was a lad directing all the traffic,so to speak,and doing a bang up job( I can’t help it I notice these things) but he’s not here tonight and it’s all a bit haphazard so consequently I was left dangling for 20 mins…anyway all good now.I have my beer and order the exquisite Tomaten Suppe later..I really don’t like being a prick to staff.Some get off on it sad to say…

Pps Made it up with the waitress even though she hadn’t really noticed.Ah well…ending the night in the squatters bar…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days #43

Sat outside the laundromat having a Budvar,not in a wino hoping to grab a forgotten 20p from the dryer kind of way but in a “ yes this place is actually a bar/ launderette” kind of way.Beat that Shoreditch!

I’m not even doing my washing,just came in to suss it out and the  fella did that German thing of saying he spoke a little English and proceeded to sound like Stephen Fry doing a Ted talk on Thermo Nuclear Dynamics…I had to stay for at least one after that…so noon tomorrow I’ll be banging the door down…

 

Incase you were wondering ( you weren’t I know) I normally write this blog in a couple of hours with a beer in the evening before I post them on social media and my friends WhatsApp group(who are coming over to see me in Berlin in a few days,well mostly to see Berlin but I just happen to be there) but I publish it to the non Twitter/ Threads/Facebook & WhatsApp world the evening I write it.You could say it’s my Onlyfans page only without the tits,ass & vastly inflated bank account.However if anyone wants pics of  knarly old feet I’m open for negotiations…

 

The day got off to an odd start.Went for a walk up the road I’m in now and suddenly go deja vu then realised I stayed close to here before six years ago but since then it’s gone a bit Hackney.Got a tram,tram broke down…went for a coffee over the road whilst they moved it.Got another tram,woman collapsed on it,luckily lots of people helped her and she was fine.Probably the heat.Eventually got into town and had a good mooch around…

Leipzig is a young city,not the city but many of the residents appear young.As it’s between Dresden & Berlin it seems to be picking up youngsters disappearing from both cities.Dresden as it’s population is aging and it’s political landscape has gone decidedly right wing and Berlin cos’ of gentrification pushing the living costs up.Leipzig is about an hour between them both…. Dresden & Berlin’s loss could be Leipzig’s gain in the future…

…and then I met the Devil…well not really of course.I went to where Goethe wrote a lot of Faust and got tempted by chocolate cake,good coffee & wine.Not the worst sins ever…

Now I have moved to a bar over the road which appears to be a squat with a pop up bar.Plenty of drink, people playing cards & chess and a distinct whiff of skunk.All that’s missing is the slam of dominoes and we could be in some of the blues parties I went to in Heath Town in the mid 70’s…all this opposite the hotel where I’m staying too…

Anyway back to Faust…Mephistopheles get’s a bad rap here.He’s not the devil,just a low paid minion working his ass off recruiting souls for the big horned fella but because of Johann Goethe he gets lambasted as the Devil.Give him a break people…there you go,some culture with a capital K…

If you’ve never been to Leipzig then you should seriously consider giving it a go.It has a feeling of a city on the rise but in a cool way.Not in a money making machine for the grey suits way(yet) maybe give it five years and the grey suits will take over but until then enjoy the vibrant atmosphere of the place…I love Berlin with all my heart & soul but honestly if I were young enough to make a move to East Germany I’d choose Leipzig right now…

On that note it’s goodnight from me and goodnight from Mephistopheles…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#42

Got to Prague station pretty early and then realised I still had about 400czk ( about £14) no point in changing it to Euros so I did what any sane bloke would do and bought three packs of smokes and saved 20czk for the bogs…

The train was late leaving Prague by about 40 minutes cos of engine troubles.I knew I’d miss my connection to Leipzig from Dresden but luckily there was another about half hour later…it was a weird trip as you can imagine.The two carriages with airplane seating were packed with some frantic punters so I went through to the six seater section.I think many people that don’t use Czech trains much consider them out of bounds…found one with just a young couple who’d already bagged the window seat so opted for a door seat and for the first time on this trip used my air pods.When I listen to stuff on headphones I instinctively tap my toes and maybe drum my fingers on my knees.It’s music I chose,so it’s music I like and music I like I usually respond somehow.This solicited a few looks for some reason.I never understand those who listen to their chosen music like they’re getting brainwashed by The Scientologists…. 

Anyway they were disapproving of my very mild appreciation of my tunes obviously.I wasn’t arsed either way but here’s the kicker As you get over the Czech border there’s some stunning scenery along the Elbe River,Sheer granite rocks a few hundred feet high shooting up directly from the river bed.Worthy of a Roger Dean LP cover,These fuckers closed the curtains cos’ the sun was shining on their laptops…some people have no soul…

A bit pissed off that I couldn’t get my  Leipzig transport tickets online.Got the app and everything but they only accept PayPal.Ok I will sign up for that then but it turns out I have an account,I must have used it about 15 years ago once but still have the same email address but crucially don’t have the same mobile number.Never mind they will ring my land line to confirm it’s me…ah there may be a little problem there.So paper tickets It is then…. 

I should know by now never to arrive in a German city on a Sunday.But here I am and it will probably happen again too…all the food stores in the station were rammed and I wanted to get to the hotel for a shower etc.The upshot is I had a mint ice cream for my dinner,and very nice it was too…I’m pretty certain there’s a curry wurst kiosk I can find later…

It’s laundry time again.This hot weather is playing havoc with my smelly t-shirt rotation! There’s one almost directly opposite the hotel which is grand but looking at their website it’s not open till noon tomorrow.It seems to be some trendy concept of bar come laundry come cafe…The area I’m in is rundown in a hipster kind of way,they do say Leipzig is the new Berlin after all…S’pose it’s something different and it would be a shame not to try it.Could be good and I do have one plaid shirt to wash along with the beard I can stroke to show my hipster credentials…

This may sound a bit nerdish & anal but before I started this trip I checked out every location of every hotel I was in.Every mode of transport to get there etc and I jotted it all down in a notebook.Before when I have travelled alone I just got to the station with no idea where I was.Which sounds exciting but meant sometimes I spent hours looking for my hotel…this time the vast majority have been piss easy to find because,as people are fond of saying on social media,I did my research… 

That’s that for today.From a hot & sweaty Leipzig ciao babies..,

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#41

Did that thing again last night,got lost on the tram…well sort of.I got impatient waiting for my tram from Sparta down to Malastranska and caught the next one thinking that went the same way.It was only when we began going uphill instead of downhill I twigged …Had to wait 20 minutes for a tram I knew went my way…when it’s dark and the stop is in a desolate area and you’re the only one there when a gang of lads turn up you naturally become wary but nothing happened so all was cool…

Once at my stop I had to change to another two trams but by this time the need for the toilet kicked in and of course I went to a bar.I can’t just use a pub toilet without buying a drink.It’s just something in me.So got a small beer with the intention of staying maybe 20 minutes.Two hours later I left to get the last tram to my hotel…got chatting to a Czech lad named Tom and we had a good laugh…

Was thinking of going to Karlovy Vary today ( or Carlsbad as some might know it) as my parents lived there from 45’ to 48’ but it’s a seven hour round trip and with a nearly five hour trip to Leipzig tomorrow I didn’t really fancy it…Tom was telling me it’s now run by Russian Oligarchs,which is a terrible shame but no surprise really especially as there’s a highly regarded annual film festival there with big stars attending.If there’s one thing gangsters enjoy as much as money it’s the lure of famous stars from music & film…so instead I went looking for the Dukla Prague ground…

For those reading this who are of a certain age and a certain musical affiliation the name Dukla Prague will always be synonymous with the slightly quirky alternative band called Half Man Half Biscuit and their  song “All I want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague away kit” For many in Britain they put the club on the map and I’m sure the club are grateful,albeit slightly bemused,by many shirt sales to middle aged portly Brits… 

As soon as I went through the gates a security guard stopped me.Here we I thought,this is as far as I go.After establishing my nationality.He asked if I was going to take pics of the kids( there was a kids game going on next door) “ good lord no!” I stammered,aware of the connotations…anyhoo we chatted and I explained  the situation without mentioning Half Man Half Biscuit,as i thought that might confuse matters…he was cool,gave me a pass and said if anyone asks just show them this.Could have been a jobsworth but wasn’t so big up the fella.We had a good ten minute chat when I left…,posted the pics online and evoked a nostalgia glow in a few blokes online…Dukla at one time were the most hated club in Soviet run Czechoslovakia as they were the army team and won many titles under dubious circumstances.I would have thought they would have distanced themselves from that time but they still affiliate themselves with the army so I guess they’re still hated…

Actually got my online ticket inspected on the tram earlier too.First time this trip,apart from the normal ticket inspection on the inter city trains.At least I feel vindicated buying a ticket now…. 

So early train to Leipzig tomorrow.A city I’m familiar with and like,so looking forward to it and getting back to using the Euro rather than the Czech Crown.Nothing wrong with the Crown but the Euro is pretty much one to one with the pound so I know what I’m spending immediately whereas with the Crown it’s a bit more complicated.My maths ain’t great…

Gonna have one more pint then head back to the hotel for an early(ish) bed and get my zeds in….and I won’t get lost on the tram this time! 

See you all tomorrow…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#40

“Whooo ohhh we’re halfway there,whooo ohhh living on a prayer…” Hands up those of you who knew I’d start this 40th blog with a bit of 80’s spandex bouffanted power rock? Sorry for placing that ear worm in your head all day too…

I was once told a story by Steve Green the former road manager of The Clash during their USA tour of London Calling( I waited on him in a hotel for a week in 82’) about him being Joe Cocker’s manager and Joe was usually so wasted he had no idea where he was so just before going on stage they’d whisper the city in his ear and sure enough he’d bound on stage with a “ Hello Munich! “ or wherever they were.I’m beginning to feel a bit like an aging rock star on tour only without the girls of dubious age hanging around,the reliance of non prescription drugs and a lack of heavy make up caked on to disguise the ravages of time…

Luckily I have this blog to at least remind me where I have been,and at the moment I’m in Prague just a short walk from the Sparta Prague ground.For some reason I had visions of it being a rough old area,a sort of Slavic Millwall,but it’s actually quite nice up here…I say up here as it’s atop a hill overlooking the city.Well it would be if the damn trees weren’t blocking the view.Bloody nature eh? Ruins everything…

So today I began with my usual coffee & chat with the Ukrainian lady, but the cafe I was in yesterday did English breakfasts and I was interested to try it,Infact it was ok,certainly had worse in the UK and the young waitress recognised me from yesterday so that was nice…had a stroll over Charles Bridge.Which is cool but it was just beginning to get packed and I felt I owed it to myself to check out the old town but wouldn’t you know it there was a cafe with great looking cakes and I thought,sod the sights I’m having coffee & cake…Czechia does exceptionally good cakes,a million times better than that old fraud Mr Kilpling…

More poncing around and making full use of my Prague transport ticket( 24 hour ticket,less than a fiver!) Ending up god knows where but that’s part of the fun.Was getting hungry again and spotting an Irish bar that did fish & chips I couldn’t resist…if I end up face down in an Indian curry tonight it’s gonna be the perfect hat trick of dodgy British culinary appropriation…it’s been a gluttonous day.

There seems to be a lot less smokers in Czechia than the other countries I have been to.No specialists tobacco shops and definitely no smoking on the train platforms and also they seem to still read books,you remember books don’t you? Yea it’s still a big thing here…

Also trams,I have mentioned them before and I think they add a lot to a city’s well being and kudos. Prague is the most tram heavy city I have been to.If you wait at a stop for ten minutes you will usually see about eight or ten come and go either side of the street and they’re usually pretty busy too.Today I even got caught in a traffic jam,ot a Trammy jam if you will…anyway they’re a great way to get around…

I also watched Germany beat USA in the basketball World Cup in the Irish bar.I didn’t even know it was a thing to be honest.But it was the semi final and before the game the USA team were prancing around high fiving each like they’d won already whilst the German team were stood motionless just watching them preforming like circus seals…Germany won by two points.Sometimes hubris comes with a price…

The pub wasn’t packed but all those that were there seemed to enjoy the result…

So anyway Mr B Jovi thanks for providing a fitting musical backdrop for my halfway blog…

Laters…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#39

It’s not true that Czech women all look like super models,it’s only about half of them.Neither is it true that all the blokes look like unemployed mercenaries,again it’s only about half,the other half look like unemployed trendy university professors sacked for sleeping with their students…joking aside it’s hard to tell who’s local in Prague as it’s such a popular destination for tourists but Budejovice seemed to have a huge number of very attractive women so with the beer being so good there it must be the water.After three days there I feel prettier myself…

Start of the day I had a coffee with the Ukrainian waitress,once again there was only us two there but she assured me they do get punters in occasionally…then I went off to Malastranska to see the memorial that my dad’s name is embossed on.Luckily I know that area fairly well as I stayed there last time I was here so I found it easily( well it’s directly opposite the metro station so it couldn’t be easier) For those not aware it’s a statue of a winged lion dedicated to the Czech people by Britain as thanks for the 2,500 Czech airmen who fought with the RAF to help defeat the Nazis in WW2 and my dad was one of them.Have to say it bought a lump to my throat when I saw it…happy to say also that there were a good few people having a look at it too.I Resistead the urge to point out my old fella’s name…it was,and will always be,a proud moment…

I decided to hang around Malastranska for the rest of the day as it’s a cool part of the city,it’s on the other side of Charles Bridge from the main tourist area on the other side of the river but it’s also where the castle is so gets pretty busy too.Anyway that’s all done and dusted.I’m currently in the middle of Wenceslas Square having a drink in the Tram Cafe which is actually an old tram,but outside unfortunately…

Turns out Czechia are playing Albania tonight not too far from where I’m staying in Vysehrad.Apparently there’s a bit of bad blood between the counties from the old Soviet days.I think the Albanians thought the Czech’s version of Stalinism was far too wishy washy and wet or something…seen a few Albanian fans getting pissed but it’s pretty quiet for such a big game…

I’m slowly getting a handle on very basic Czech which has helped me to enjoy the city more than last time.I feel a lot more relaxed here than I did before.I think the few days I had in Budejovice helped as hardly anyone spoke English and it forced me to get to grips with the basics.I even ordered my meal & dessert in Czech earlier( ok I was reading it off the menu but still) i got what I wanted too.So yea,big up to me..,

I can hear football style chanting coming from yonder so I assume the beer has kicked in with the Albanians.Game doesn’t start for a few hours and there’s no point getting on the metro now as I’ll probably get hearded in with the Albanian fans by the police…I’ve just got pretty from the Budejovice water remember and don’t fancy getting a baton across my face…

 

I haven’t even bothered with the well known centre of Prague this time.I might do but it’s gonna be early before the tourists have breakfast otherwise,like Oxford St & Leicester Square,it turns into a meat market and in truth I have seen it all before and,like London,there’s a lot more to the city than those places in the centre…

Anyway I got a very detailed dossier from my Czech friend in London Nela (@desperatelittlefucker on instagram.Great name!) about things to do in Prague away from the centre so I’d better follow that or I’m in trouble! 

So as they seem to say in most of Europe ( except France) ciao…

Ps.After a small detour on the tram( got lost,it’s dark and the language is all in foreign like) Found a halfway home stop I recognised.Saw a chemist.Despite all the stuff I said earlier about trying the local language it turns out it’s far easier to mime smelly feet.Point at feet,hold nose,say “urgghh” anyway I got some spray…it’s the shoes more than the feet but hopefully it’s gonna work.If not I’ll brush up my mime skills…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#38

Nice little journey from Budejovice to Prague.Had a six seater section to myself for most of the way.One thing I’d seen before but hadn’t copped onto was when the guard checks the ticket they stay by the door and won’t come in the carriage.I suppose it’s policy for easy escape if anything untoward kicks off…

Pretty chuffed with myself as originally I’d booked a Prague train and at the platform it was filling up but I’d also noticed a fair bit of frantic activity from engineers around the engine too.There was another Prague train leaving 20 minutes later two platforms across so I changed my ticket on the app,got on that one and we pulled out whilst the other train was still receiving repairs…

Got to Prague and within thirty seconds was asked directions,in English,to the platform I’d just come off,it’s the beard again,it garners a sense of trust.Don’t know why as there’s been some real hirsute wrong uns…then broke one of my rules of going to the WC with no change.Had to use my card and it was only 20 Koruna too! Who knew that using your bank card to have a piss was a thing?

Managed to download the Prague transport app with no hassle( I always read the reviews and one clown said it was terrible as he had to wait two minutes for the ticket to become valid after paying.How much of a shit are you if you can’t wait two minutes?) Anyway struck lucky with the metro as the stop I wanted was on the first line I went to,rare indeed,got off and there in front of me was the Yam Yam bar.Now to many non Wolves fans that won’t mean a thing but to us Yam Yams’ it was a sign from high above…for those not in the know “ Yam yam “ was first coined by Brummie fans as a withering insult about our accent but of course we embraced it and rendered it null & void… 

Of course I had to have a drink and they only sold Stella which I don’t really like but was prepared to take one for the team,hell for the whole city,and the beer was cold,the weather was hot…found the hotel and it’s only right under probably the biggest bridge in Prague,and I mean smack under it! I’m a troll for the next four days!

I was early,the chambermaid was still doing my room so the fella said “ leave your bags there’s a bar round the corner “ Well you don’t need to tell me twice fella…bar was empty save me & the barmaid.Turns out she’s Ukraine and of course after pleasantries if you meet a Ukrainian the obvious question has to be asked…we had a very interesting half hour chat.

Hotel ready,all sorted.Pleased to say my room has a direct view of the underside of the underpass and I’m now having a bevvy in ( sort of ) central Prague…

Lovely…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#37

Had to buy a ticket to Cesky Krumlov as only one train there and one back (an hour apart) would take my Interrail pass.Luckily all this info is on the app when you punch in the details of the trip you’re about to make so there’s no surprise when you rock up at the station.If you’re doing Interrail get it on the phone.It’s worth it even if you’re a bit tech blind like me…

The train was a two carriage trundler and we had about twenty stops for a forty minute ride and I doubt if it went above 25mph so it was relaxing.I’m in no rush after all.A few of the scheduled stops they just sailed through.There’s probably one or two places they haven’t stopped at for years,I did like it when we went through a forested area a few times with hundred foot pine trees either side of us…got to Krumlov and,as I normally do,I had a smoke,noticed a supermarket and popped in for some supplies.What I hadn’t noticed was all the other punters where boarding a bus for town.Apparently it’s part of the ticket( nobody told me,well Infact they did but I didn’t have a Scooby what they were telling me) Next train in two hours,ergo next bus in two hours…ho hum a mile walk into town but all downhill.Very downhill…

 

Cesky Krumlov is what it is.Imagine If  the Czech tourist board had said “ has anyone seen that messed up British show from the 60’s called The Prisoner? We want that but more so…” It was quaint,it was lovely,it was hard on the feet cobble bloody stones…lots and lots of craft shops selling the usual stuff to us tourists who usually descend from the hill by bus,walk around for hours never spending enough then pissing off again…The stuff in the shops wasn’t cheap tat either.It was good quality merch aimed at the Americans & Japanese who’re doing the whole of Europe in two weeks and you want their hard cash.It’s not aimed at some bozo who can’t even catch a bus…

I did find a great little museum/shop which flogged repo stuff from the early 20th century.You know those metallic adverts,some of which were decidedly dodgy.You know the ones,happy little black faces selling shoe polish,that type of thing…I asked the woman if she had anything pertaining to my great aunt Anny Ondra,who was a huge star in this neck of the woods and even starred in Hitchcock’s first talkie called “ Blackmail” but nada,zilch,nowt… 

So there you have it,Cesky Krumlov is worth a visit for a few hours but that’s it unless you like being on a fantasy film set for a week…of course I walked back up the hill to get my train.Not a hope in hell I was gonna find the bus stop…now I’m happily having a budvar or two in the square and later gonna try my local tandoori before scooting off to Prague tomorrow…

See you all later…

Ps this great weather is killing me.I desperately want to wear my shorts but even though the bites on the legs have healed up they have more scabs than a King’s Cross crack addict and I have to admit I’d be a bit self conscious to have them on display…life can be a beach.

Pps I said yesterday that Ceske Budejovice is weird.Got chatting to a Czech fella called Ludo in a bar by the river via the age old traditional way of google translate.He smoked half my tabs but bought me a couple of beers so all’s fair.He offered to give me a lift to Prague today,I declined,then he wanted me to be his wing man in search of women,I declined and in time honoured fashion made my excuses and left.By this time it was 10pm and I wanted my tandoori…walking to the hotel was about half mile and I saw many of the bars were closing then the Maccy D’s by me was closed and like most horror movies I was getting a bad feeling about this…sure enough the Tandoori was closed too.Now Budejovice is not a big place but it’s not small either however when most bars,Maccy D’s and Indian restaurants close at 10pm that to me is weird…in the wise words of Toyha Wilcox “It’s a Mystery “

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#36

Back in my favourite old place in the Tandoori garden,well this is second and last time apart from tonight when I’m gonna have a meal here…

Ceske Budejovice is a weird place,weird in a nice way.Anywhere that has a coach station on top of a shopping mall is weird in my book…when I got here it was a Sunday and there were lots of people walking about.It’s hard to judge what a place is really like on a Sunday though so I didn’t really take much notice…

When I left the hotel yesterday morning I saw a couple of little gangs of school age kids milling about and my immediate thought was they were wagging off but then I started seeing more & more walking around.Now I get it,youngsters don’t have much money so dossing about doing nothing is sometimes the only option…then I began seeing groups of adults doing the same thing.Luckily the weather was beautiful.A clear sunny day with temps about 25c Infact a perfect summer’s day on September 4th.Today looks like it might be the same…

There was something going on in the beautiful main square.Looked like it was geared towards the kids with dancing to cheesy Euro pop and lots of sporting activities including gymnastics & many ball games.The most popular sport in this part of the world is Ice Hockey but for obvious reasons that was impossible to replicate.Would have been fun if they had though…

All the cafe bars around the square had filled up with what I presumed were the parents of many of the kids and I thought that was probably gonna be how it would be until the evening so went for a stroll to blend in…beautiful city,still loads of locals walking about but eventually the call of a beer was too strong,headed back to the square expecting to struggle to find a seat but all the bars were empty.The event in the square was still going on and was popular but the bars were empty…like I said a weird place.

Had a couple of beers then decided to have one in the hotel I was originally gonna stay in.A 500 year old place in the square but copped a very snobby attitude from three of their staff.I have said many times I don’t mind if people who serve me are having a bad day and aren’t all smiley happy clappy.I understand,been there,done it etc but when three staff shown utter disdain to one punter that’s not on…anyway I lingered as long as I could over my one pint but eventually had to bugger off.Still there were loads of litte posse’s strolling around…

Needed a toilet,no public ones around I could see then saw a sign for a Bikers Bar.It was down a long corridor and down a single flight of steps.There was only the barmaid & her mate in there so I ordered a drink and was also passed an ashtray when I asked where I could smoke.Fine,then a couple of regulars came in,eyed me suspiciously and obviously chatted about who I was.I also saw one of the clumsiest drug deals ever and the barmaid’s mate saw I’d clocked it so even if I didn’t want to I had stay for another Incase they thought I was some sort of minor international drug squad.That’s what years of drinking in Wolverhampton pubs does for you…actually it was the best Budvar I’d tasted in the city,and that’s a high bar! 

I know a lot of Mid European biker gangs are on the right politically and the “ Nordic” & “Patriotic Rock” etc stickers dotted about would suggest that was the case along with the ubiquitous Confederate flag of course,and I would think they’d probably regard the Wolves Hell’s Angels as woke lefty libtards  but they were ok with me.But then I’m white and look like I might even take an interest in bikes.I didn’t stay for a third to get grilled by anyone though…when I left it was early evening and the streets were empty.Like I said a weird place…

Today I’m gonna pop off to Cesky Krumlov which is only half hour away and I’ve heard is stunning,think it’s more of a tourist place than Budejovice so I expect there will be a lot of people walking around…

Laters…

Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80days#35

I’m currently writing this at 6-15am in the outside of an Indian restaurant’s seating area.Don’t worry I’m not down and out in Ceske Budejovice the hotel is situated along a passageway at the end of which is a Tandoori restaurant.They clearly saw me coming…

Guess what? It’s another ghost hotel.Let yourself in via passcodes to get the keys etc.This time the place looks like it might harbour some real spookies with it’s winding staircase and dark wood panelling…but it’s en suite so who cares?

Had a quick walk around CB when I got sorted at the hotel and it looks gorgeous.Went to the main square and it actually is square,which makes a change,had a couple of local Budvar beers which were beautiful as you’d expect at about two quid a pint…there’s a huge hotel in the square which I looked at staying in when I started planning this trip,it was luxurious and cheap ( about £30 per night) when I finally decided to book up the price had doubled so in some aspects the Czechs are learning not to undersell themselves to international tourists…

My trip was fine but could have turned out very differently.At Nuremberg I just waltzed onto the train without really noticing it was one of those that split at some point.Luckily the inspector told me and I changed to the correct carriage next stop.Then when I got to Schwandorf I had ten minutes between trains to get to Pilzen or so I thought.Looked at the board and my train wasn’t on.So getting a bit panicky I checked my phone again and there it was Bus1234(or whatever) like a typical bloke not reading the instructions correctly to build the new IKEA cabinet I just saw 9-00am and assumed it was a train…ah well,found the coach in time for Pilzen so all worked out…

Had an hour wait in Pilzen,which from the little I saw looks a fairly tough old place.Nearly every bloke I saw looked like a hardcore paramilitary nutcase…and the local riot police made a great show of escorting about thirty football fans off a train…Viktoria Pilzen beat Bohemians 1905 two nil by the way…the train to CB was a real old rattler with six seater carriages.It stopped at lots of small villages where the station guard comes out to have a chat with the train driver…

I am still having trouble with my enunciation of even simple Czech words like “please” and “thanks” being half Czech you’d think I might have some innate ability but nah,it doesn’t work like that.Had the young girl in giggles at the bar merely by trying to say “Thank You” ( Dekuji) but “Thanks” is worse as it’s “dik” and I don’t really want to be saying that wrong to anyone especially the hardcore paramilitary types…although to my credit I did get “Dalsi prosim” (another one please) correct first go which got a nod of approval from the barmaid….but I will keep trying and hopefully keep improving slowly.As I have said before its a show of respect to at least attempt the local language no matter how badly you sound…as long as you don’t call local hard men dicks…

Laters peeps…