Flat plains drifter…Germany #5

The journey yesterday wasn’t too bad,lots of changes en route and the obligatory mess up by DB.I’m convinced they now do it on purpose to give us punters something to moan about…we were 45 mins late and as quickly as I found a seat I was turfed out of the seat by the reservation holder( they had messed those up too) as German is not my language I was in no position to argue and after a fruitless search of two carriages decided to stand by the door in the corridor.Bremen was the next stop under an hour away so no big deal and as an added bonus I was next to the toilets so could fart at will and blame it on the bogs…every cloud eh?

As my hotel is right opposite the Hauptbahnhof it was fine.It’s a weird set up as the reception is on the 6th floor so the first thing you do enter via Star Trek like sliding doors into a lift lobby and nothing else,eventually the frazzled brain works it out.The lads on reception were great.I wondered if there was a bar in the hotel but they just laughed and said “ no sir,just rooms,hundreds of rooms “ which made me laugh too…anyway all is good.The room is comfortable and it’s nice to have a bathroom especially when you get to a certain age and there’s various nightly visits…

Found myself in a little bar around the corner called Die Fliege ( The Fly) It’s one of those one room dark smoking bars that northern Germany seems to specialise in complete with buxom landlady and four or five pissed up locals who seem to have been there since the place was founded.To be fair they were very friendly and did a passable rendition of The Backstreet Boys song that came on the jukebox…

Another glorious day.Having a stroll around Altstadt Bremen and had forgotten how beautiful it is.A hark back to the 17th/18th century when it was an integral part of the Hansiatic League ( Surely the best league in the world) it is of course a city state and is thus the smallest state( I think) in Germany…that’s it,that’s all the history I have…

I am of a certain age when the metric system came into our country when I was about 12 years old and as we all know after that age it’s almost impossible to learn anything new…to be fair I can’t recall our teachers going too deep into teaching us properly,it was a case of “ Right then we used to measure in units of twelve but now we measure in units of ten.Get on with it”  For any American readers the UK is still in the halfway house between Imperial and Metric.I suppose once all the old people die out we will go fully metric but until then confusion reigns…

I still deal in miles rather kilometres but also use centigrade rather than Fahrenheit.My go to measurement is feet & inches.Strangly I know I am 80kg in weight ( or 40 bags of Tate & Lyle sugar) but have no idea what I weigh in stones & pounds…we still drink pints in the pubs but buy a litre bottle of lemonade in the shops and drugs have always been bought by the gramm( so I have been told) All this came to me when I got up at 9-30am thinking “ oh it’s 8-30 back home” and I wondered why I do that…life is indeed a mystery.

Today is a day to be in the shade especially as a Brit.Currently having a coffee in Schnoor,which is a cutesy tourist trap in Bremen.It’s lovely but also easy to spend a shed load of money around here.Think I will head off to Viertel soon.My favourite part of the city with it being a bit of an alternative lefty area…

Currently in Litfass In Viertel.A nice little bar I frequented a few times last time I was here.Most people are outside but it’s too hot for my sensitive skin…I know the sun helps but Bremen seems pretty busy for a monday.Many folk milling around doing their thing.Meanwhile I’m happy chilling in a chill bar doing my thing…

Will see you all sometime tomorrow hopefully…tschüss.

Flat plains drifter…Netherlands to Germany #4

Looking though the last two blogs it seems my thoughts on small town living were somewhat contradictory.The fact is small villages do tend to confuse me as to their merits or not and so I do have seesaw attitudes towards them.Let me say this is no slight on Bilthoven which has been nothing but welcoming towards me.So there…

Various trains to Bremen today where thankfully no small town confusion resides in my head.Hopefully the four changes go smoothly but as we’re dealing with the infamous DB that seems to be more hope than expectation,at least two of the trips are on Dutch trains so things might be fine.The good thing is have time and the hotel is right by Bremen Hauptbahnhof so even if it’s a crock of shit trip once I get to Bremen I’ll be fine…

So have done things slightly different this time with Interrail.Normally I include the outgoing & ingoing Eurostar trips which is fine & cheaper of course(just,they do tend to whack on the price of mandatory reservations) but you also lose two days travel so instead of seven days hoiking around Europe I would only have five…this time I paid for Eurostar separately and so have the full complement of days and the Bremen leg is my first use this time…

I am also slightly winging it in that I have only booked up until Berlin and gonna play it by ear after that.I usually like being ultra organised but thought “fuck it let’s be a bit risky” what’s the worst that can happen? Don’t answer that…

Another glorious day.Waiting outside the hotel for their cafe to open so I can grab a coffee before shooting off on the train.The station is only a few minutes away so no rush…had to grab the bathroom quickly for my shower before anyone else did.That’s the trouble with shared bathrooms.It’s a dog eat dog world.The one upside is previous punters always leave lots of shampoo & conditioner and invariably it’s better than anything in your possession.Suffice to say my hair & beard is as luscious as a Crufts champion today…the shared bathroom experience has been very painless this stay but sometimes they can be angst filled seething cauldrons of unease.Or something…I’m en-suite in Bremen so all’s good…

So that sort of rhetorical question earlier about what’s the worst that can happen nearly had an answer.I thought I’d better punch in my trains into the Interrail app and my pass wouldn’t load.After about 15 minutes of frantically checking everything I could think of and also much industrial language ( as football commentators say) I decided to check the app in the Apple store and it just needed an update.Once done all was fine but it was a hairy moment…

Bit of a mad dash at my first change as the train I got off hung around to let all the cyclists on and my train had to divert platform.Whilst cycling is laudable it can be a pain in the arse when they’re holding up trains.Managed to get mine with 30secs to spare and i’m in a six berth compartment which I don’t think I’m supposed to be in.Ah well…turns out I was cool as the ticket inspector didn’t mention it.

My first three connections were all regional trains and all fine but as soon as I have to catch an inter city DB train it’s at least half hour late,because of course it is…I did however get introduced to Jesus whilst having a smoke outside a station on the Dutch German border.She also offered me some water which looked like the top had been messed with and my immediate thought was Kool Aid so declined…

Anyway will let you all know how I got on in my final league of the journey tomorrow…

Laters all…

Flat plains drifter…Netherlands #3

For some reason yesterday‘s blog decided to crop the final paragraph which is why it ended so abruptly.I can’t recall what I wrote so that’s that…

So then phew what a scorcher! I think this could be the start of a hot hot spell.Normally I’m ok when it’s humanly hot as long as I can find shade to hang around in.I‘m not prone to being a lizard soaking up radiation when I can be a maiden aunt reclining under a parasol…so the shorts are on and the varicose veins are on show.They’re looking particularly prominent and blue today the show offs…

Anyway I was wrong about it being a “phew what a scorcher!” Proof that just looking out of the window is not always a reliable indicator.It’s still warm however and I was up as the next room’s smoke alarm went off.Currently I am on the train to Amsterdam,as it’s my last day in the Netherlands for a while ( well a month) I thought it would be rude not to take a gander.Not been there since I was young,slim & beautiful back in 1984.I’m guessing it’s changed somewhat but also recognisably still Amsterdam…

Grabbing a coffee at the side of one of the canals and the spotting sport seems to how many Brit football shirts I can count.Think of it as a sort of lads weekend eye spy.So far I have seen Newcastle,Liverpool,Man Utd & Glasgow Rangers.Not a bad haul considering I have been in town less than half an hour…I also think the waitress has ripped me off for a Euro.Welcome to the big city…

Anyway Amsterdam is what it is.You can see why people are drawn to it…I would imagine the rest of the country looks on it with disdain but cest la vie an’ all that…the contrast between this place and where I’m staying barely half hour away by train couldn’t be more evident…mind you Bilthoven is probably some sort of model village/Stepford wives type nightmare in some eyes.There’s a fine line between ideal homes and down right creepiness.Not saying Bilthoven is creepy per sae.Maybe the years living in downbeat areas has shielded me from an overload of cuteness.Bilthoven has been nice to stay in for three days but living there wouldn’t be for me.I prefer the gritty obviously…

Sorry was getting a bit introspective there…ah well tomorrow I’m off to Bremen.A place I have been to a couple of times and a place I like, I’m staying in an Ibis by the Hauptbahnhof.I normally stay in private dwellings but occasionally a chain is good as you know exactly what you’re getting…even though it’s not far I have four stops so we’ll see how that pans out.It’s the first time using the Interrail this trip.Will explain tomorrow sometime…

Until then laters all…

Oh and I have just seen two of the Manciest looking Mancs wearing Man City shirts.I bet they’re locals…

Flat plains drifter…Netherlands #2

According to Wikipedia one of Bilthoven‘s achievements is having a railway station.So,y‘know,there’s that…I suppose some might say that just points out it’s innate dullness but I don’t see it like that.Maybe that alone points towards my own innate dullness…anyhoo it’s got Utrecht up the road and big bad Amsterdam half hour away so that’s probably enough excitement for one community.Cleary it’s a place where youngish couples want to bring up their kids and more power to them I say…this is also why it seem low on bars probably.The parents are no doubt happy just having a couple of steady safe places and the teens,plus soon to be teens,have Sodom & Gomorrah  a short train ride away…

After a long sleep & a good coffee at the hotel cafe I’m off to Utrecht for a mooch around.Managed to download the local Dutch train app after a few aborted attempts so hopefully all will work ok.All Dutch stations have barriers unlike their German counterparts next door,even the tiny stations like this one…something that has struck me is that in the UK a village this small would most likely have the most rudimentary facilities namely two platforms with a bus stop sized shelter on both sides whereas this place has loads of shelter with benches,toilets and a well appointed buffet.All very impressive.Return ticket to Utrecht is just over €6 and it’s about the same distance as Sandwell to Wolves,which is where the similarities end…

Had a good mooch around Utrecht.A very nice place.Once you get past the modern area by the Centaal station you quickly end up in the quintessential Dutch environment we all know and love…it seem to have all of the same attributes as Amsterdam but without added problems that a place like Amsterdam attracts.Like all renowned wild hedonistic parts of the world the reality quickly overtakes the original idea and they become parodies of themselves sucking all the joy & devil may care attitude out of…anyway Utrecht seems just fine.

Like most Dutch cities I have been to the populace seems to be fairly young and vibrant and also pretty switched on( can’t believe the way this country has voted the last few years though) Popped into a place called Lewboski‘s,which wasn’t as big as I thought it would be and had a few drink.It was ok but the highlight was a fella trying to control his dog who went ape when he spotted the bar cat,the moggy of course just ignored the hullabaloo and continued to roam around making the dog even more deranged…later on chatted to the owner of a tobacconist who told me he drives to Germany to get his personal supplies as they’re so much cheaper…

Finally back in Bilthoven in the same bar as yesterday and the barman told me he was in London last March for the first time and didn’t understand why everyone drinks pints as the beer’s warm when you get halfway down.Thought it was some macho bullshit.Gotta love the Dutch telling it like it is sometimes…

Flat plains drifter…Netherlands #1

As per usual Eurostar was rammed at 5am.Infact it’s the most rammed I’ve ever seen it,people were literally queuing round the block and of course some people jumped the queue cos‘ they’re clearly special people and deserve to slime their way in front of us lesser mortals to gain access to a more adventurous standing spot in the waiting room…pricks.

I‘m sure it’s not just me that get‘s a frisson of angst when the passport control holds your gaze a little too long,it’s a fine line between boldly holding the guys stare or looking anywhere but directly at him.They let me through so I obviously passed the test.I‘d crumble like a badly made soufflé trying to get into the USA…

The trip was fine albeit we were an hour late arriving in Amsterdam.This wasn’t our doing this time as we had to hang around at Brussels for the connection from Paris.However there were some very pissed off people when they were told the train wasn’t stopping at Amsterdam airport.They were clearly not having a good trip…one guy tried to claim a seat taken by a fella who‘d been on since London and got the guard involved,the guard then patiently explained that this wasn’t his scheduled connection but that we‘d just hung around to lighten the load.Again lots of harummping and storming off…

So I’m not staying in Amsterdam or even Utrecht but a small town/village about 10 mins away by train called Bilthoven.It’s very twee and the place I’m staying in upped that twee factor by several percentage points.Imagine if Jermina Puddleduck opened a B&B/cafe and you’d have an idea what it’s like.But they seem nice and the waitress has already taught me Please & Thank You in Dutch.I asked her what time she finished and her horrified expression suggest she thought I was coming on to her whereas I was merely wondering about paying for my coffees…nearly an Oppps moment there.

I am saying it’s all very twee but just noticed over the road a shop called Loft 88 and really hope that’s not anything Nazi inspired.I have seen both Hot Fuzz and Village of the Dammed so know these places can have very sinister undertones…

Found a bar so a small Heineken is in order.Totally forgot about table service so did the Brit thing of paying at the bar thus putting at least two servers on the dole but at least I resisted the temptation of asking for a pint…seems a decent place.Already had good interaction with the barstaff and they’re playing some old school 60‘s soul too…

That’ll do for today Boys & Girls I’m pooped.Incidentally this is the first hotel I have stayed in that has a dressing gown to use. It’s a nice thick towly thing.A bit coat of many colours an‘ all that.I was hoping for silk so as to cosplay as Noel Coward in The Italian Job but that’s probably asking too much…

See you tomorrow sometime…