Yep i said it...no point in denying the fact.Once you give up an addiction it pulls at you like...well,like an addiction.It's not a craving,it's more of a smoky,smelly fug of nostalgia that pulls at you occasionally,like hearing an 80's pop song and remembering an exciting,sensual,but ultimately expensive and destructive girlfriend...
Cos' yes smoking is sensual.It's Marlon Brando in a white t-shirt with his packet of tabs lodged in the upper sleeve like a friday night in Newcastle when it's minus 15c.It's Lauren Bacall being the sassiest sass in Sassville.It's Humphrey Bogart blowing smoke in Ingrid Bergman's face before saving her from the clutches of the Nazis...it's black & white films.
I had been toying with giving up long before i actually did.Smoking was getting far too expensive for one thing.I was never bothered about the restrictions imposed.I understood them perfectly well and actually agree with them...however in March i ended up laying in a hospital bed wearing a rather fetching oxygen mask after a continuous failure to walk ten yards without holding onto a hand rail.After thirty hours and more drips than a loose tap i was given the all clear by the doctor who then laid it on the line."Give up and you'll probably live a lot longer,keep smoking and you'll be pushed around everywhere breathing through a tube...it's your choice." Her bedside manner may have been abrupt but i knew where i stood...
It took me a couple of weeks to get back to some kind of normality physically.Having been on thirty/forty a day i fully expected giving up to be extremely difficult whereas i have found it to be pretty easy.Don't know why.I have been tugging at the weed all my adult life along with a fair proportion of my childhood.the constant cough i had disappeared within a few weeks and obviously i can now walk more than ten breathless yards...But yea i have no problem being around smokers and i would never do that exaggerated stage "cough" some non,or ex smokers indulge in,or ask a smoker why they don't give up(probably two of the worst things to bring to a smokers attention)
An added bonus was the fact that the money i saved between March & August paid for a three week tour around Germany & The Czech Republic...Yes i smoked in Germany.Everyone smokes in Germany after all.It's an unwritten law like the ability to speak four languages and double denim...many would say it was stupidity on my part,and maybe it was,but i saw it as a holiday romance.It was great fun while it lasted but ultimately we both knew it was just a fling and would end at the train station...
Of course i vape...that's my crutch.Any ex smokers who vape use it as a crutch.Nothing to be ashamed of there,we all need a helping hand and this is what vaping offers.However never let any bearded hipster tell you it's better than smoking cos' that's patently a load of bollocks.Vaping is the vapid younger brother trying to attain coolness through association...is there such a thing as a post coital vape? I doubt it.
Mind you vaping probably helped save my life.I don't want to be too harsh...
Many people are turning from smoking to vaping( i have never heard of anyone taking up vaping having never previously smoked,I just can't imagine such a thing) and we all know it's only a matter of time before gov't ministers pick up the shortfall in smoking tax by introducing ever increasing vaping tax...bastards. They may cite the strain smokers put on the NHS but we never hear how much money they make off smokers.Besides smokers tend to die earlier than non smokers so.y'know,swings & roundabouts...
I know i will never smoke again.I accept that (apart from Germany of course) but i also know that on my death bed my final words will probably be " Anyone got a spare fag...oh and can i borrow your lighter ?"
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