2013 awards...

It's that time of year again good people...A time to sit down and reflect on life's ups and downs,a time to ponder the future and then think "Sod this,let's go and get drunk..."

So here's my awards for this year...

The perennial Rolling Stones for-god's-sake-let-it-go-will-you barnacle encrusted throne to Sir Alex Ferguson for refusing to leave Old Trafford after retiring thus undermining the present,and any future,manager.

The inaugural duck face no Selfie respect IPhone goes to Cameron,Obama & Thorning-Schmidt for their Instagram mugging at Mandela's memorial.

The Geldof I'll-name-that-tune-in-one J.Arthur Rank gong to Kayne West for calling his daughter "North".She'll just have to be thankful he's not a Hitchcock fan otherwise she'd be "North by North".

The return of the Britney Spears Oops i did it again dropped chalice to the England Cricket team for their pre 2005 form in Australia.

The annual off-with-his-head  sword of Damocles to any football manager who does'nt win every game his team plays.Especially relevant to any below tenth in any division.

The Ian Duncan Smith Thick as mince but ego of Piers Morgan flashing neon klaxon to many football chairmen for their summary sacking of good managers and meddling with their clubs history.

The Miley Cyrus The-lady's-not-for-twerking party plastic buttocks to Lilly Allen for her video purporting to show up sexism/racism in pop music by using sexy black women twerking vigorously.Irony eh?

The Methuselah diamond encrusted Zimmer frame to Ryan Giggs for being the only person to ever reach the age of 40...

The Morrissey I-bear-more-grudges-than-lonely-high-court-judges memorial gavel to Fergie,Roy Keane and to Mozza himself.

The Ben Elton Oh-bit-of-politics-there lifetime peerage to Russel Brand.Stick to the faux Dickensian monologues mate...

The There's-a-bandwagon-a-coming-i'd-better-get-on-it-quick Gravy boat train award goes to David Cameron for all his policies since coming to power...

Finally;The good people lost to the world this year;

Seamus Heaney
Christopher Martin Jenkins
Frank Keating
Cecil Womack
Reg Presley
Richard Briers
Maxine Powell
Richard Griffiths
Hugo Chavez
James Herbert
Phil Ramone
Anne Williams
Richie Havens
Jim Mortimer
Paul Shane
Ray Manzarek
Bill Pertwee
Tom Sharpe
Henry Cecil
Elmore Leonard
Lou Reed
David Frost
James Gandolfini
Mick Aston
Bernadette Nolan
Anna Wing
Mel Smith
Iain Banks
JJ Cale
Mick Farren
David Jacobs
Tom Clancy
Phillip Chevron
Felix Dexter
Nigel Davenport
John Cole
Doris Lessing
Ray Gosling
Bill Foulkes
Lewis Collins
Peter O'Toole
Nelson Mandela

RIP.

Wolves & Orient.Time to put MAP into action...

Wolves and Leyton Orient are top two in division one,they're nine & eight points ahead of the chasing pack respectively with twenty eight games to go.It's time for the clubs to open negotiations between themselves to implement the top secret strategy know as MAP...

MAP stands for Mutual assured promotion.There are times in the cruel world of football when the super powers need to band together to protect their own status from marauding upstarts who's desire is topple and rule with their own brand of  despotic football.Make no mistake these deviants are waiting to pounce on any weakness apparent in the top two.If we're not careful then one(or both) of us could slip up in our combined goal of promotion and fall headlong into the maelstrom of doubt,recriminations and,worst of all,gloating opponents...This must not be allowed!

So much as the energy companies form a cartel Wolves & Leyton Orient need to do the same to protect their interests...So how will MAP work to our advantage in gaining promotion whilst banishing our slovenly foes to another season of scraping the division one barrel for any crumbs of comfort they can grab hold of...

First off the games involving the two giants will be pre-determined---not fixed of course,that would be crude---Some may think two draws would suffice but that would give the Barbarian hordes massing at our gates the chance to gain four points on us so i'm afraid both clubs will have to bite the bullet and have one defeat each,thus giving both clubs three points instead of one.

We also have to think of the goal difference here so i suggest instead of going through the tiresome business of actually playing each other we should both forfeit our away game.Such action will result in a 3-0 win for the home team.Orient could claim to have had their coach held up by a modern day Dick Turpin just off the North Circular  and Wolves will claim a mild case of distemper has decimated the squad...Job done.

Loans play an increasing important role in the game and we'll make full use of a co-dependent loan system between the clubs.Each first team eleven will be on the bench of the other club on matchdays.There will have to be some tinkering with the fixtures to make sure we play on separate days of course,but imagine it.Wolves need a goal? bring on Mooney.Orient need to see out a 1-0 lead? bring on Danny Batth.Simple and effective...

What else can be done to ensure MAP is an unmitigated success? There could be a sustained smear campaign aimed at all our rivals in the media emitting from the Black Country and East London in order to diminish their challenge further.I feel that Orient CEO Barry Hearn may be best suited to orchestrate this as he seems to have a certain expertise in this field...Planted stories about managers & players will help to undermine team morale,especially if it involves spurious claims of John Terry type shenanigans with team mates partners...

The fans of both respective clubs can help too.If enough Wolves and Orient fans turn up at our rivals home games we can destabilise them by booing at every opportunity(it's important to be spread around the ground so as not to arouse suspicion) jeering their star players and chanting for their manager's/chairman's head.In the case of Rotherham's Steve Evans calling for his head should be a nationwide campaign...

We will fall short of actually injuring rival players but there are other ways to get to them.Every opportunity should be taken to remind Bradford's Nahki Wells that he really has a very silly name for instance.Telling Coventry's Leon Clarke that Paolo di Canio was right etc.Nothing hurts a player more than a blow to his ego...If any of them are on Twitter keep sending them ads for Viagra and penis enhancement...It all helps.

If we can get this into action then success will be guaranteed for the two giants of division one,finally leaving the lower orders behind to wallow in misery.If it fails then i'm afraid we'll have to resort to good old fashioned bribery...

MAP... It's nasty,dishonest,undignified,cynical and downright wrong.But hey,that's football...

Danny Batth...The heart of new Wolves

Danny points the way.

"Danny Batth's from Brierley Hill,Brierley Hill,Brierley Hill.Danny Batth's from Brierly Hill,Fuck off Johnson" This is what the Wolves fans sing to our young centre back and occasional captain Daniel Tanveer Batth.Now i realise that as a song it's probably not up there with anything Bob Dylan,Neil Young or even Miley Cyrus may compose(Although Miley's interpretation on video would be interesting) but to Wolves it speaks volumes...

The malaise that enveloped the club these last few years has been well documented and one of the main totems of that maliase ----Roger Johnson,he named in Batth's song---Has been banished to Sheffield Wednesday---In an obvious attempt to add to his record of three successive relegations---- to be replaced by local youngster Danny Batth at the heart of Wolves defence,a defence that has conceded only ten goals in seventeen games.In the few games Batth played last season, either alongside or in place of  Johnson it was obvious to all those watching he should be a permanent name on the teamsheet.All except the manager at the time that is.It was only the arrival of Kenny Jackett in the summer who instantly recognised Batth's importance to the club that prevented him from being cherry picked by other clubs.

As the song says, Danny Batth was born in Brierley Hill----A small Black Country town about five miles from Wolverhampton----and has been at the club since the age of ten,it was only last season however that he broke into the Wolves team at the age of twenty two after playing nearly a hundred league games on loan to Colchester and both Sheffield clubs.At the start of this season he was made first choice centre half and in truth it's now hard to imagine a Wolves team without him in it.

Batth(pronounced Bart) is of Punjabi Sikh descent and at a solid 6" 2" gives lie to the prevailing belief among some that Asians would never make good footballers cos' of their slight build----Have they never seen Kabaddi? It's brutal! Those lads certainly are'nt lacking in the physical stakes---The same nonsense used to be said of footballers from Afro Caribbean backgrounds many years ago.That they were'nt brave enough or that they could'nt read the game.Is'nt it about time this rubbish stopped?

Anyway i digress.From the moment i first saw Batth on his Wolves  league debut i was impressed.He was playing alongside Roger Johnson and within the first couple of minutes he was covering his back when he cleared a through ball that Johnson failed to intercept and his ability to read the game and speed to cover impending danger is what places him above any other centre half in division one,or indeed the Championship,in my opinion...If he continues to progress he has a great future in the game,whether it's at Wolves or not remains to be seen...

He's also good in the air and uses his timing to win balls against bigger opponents,although to be fair this has not really been needed too much as most of the football i have seen this season has been played on the ground rather than lumped up to a grizzled old hairy arsed striker.With his ariel power he's also a danger in the opponents penalty box at corners and free kicks.

One slight criticism is that sometimes his distribution out of defence could be better,hopefully that's something being worked on in training.

But Daniel Tanveer Batth is not just a good player.To my mind he represents a whole new beginning at Wolves.A local youth who's come through the ranks to put pride back in the club.a local lad who will hopefully stay with the club and one day become Captain in his own right rather than as stand in Captain to Sam Ricketts(Who's done a sterling job) Batth is the best home grown defender i have seen at Wolves since the heady days of Joleon Lescott.I admit there's not been a lot of competition but just to be mentioned in the same breath as Lescott shows how highly i rate Batth...

Danny Batth.The heart of new Wolves...From Brieley Hill.

The like's of us...

There many things that piss me off about football,far too many to mention here...However my real bet noir---apart from bloggers using pretentious foreign terms in an effort to appear intellectual---is the phrase "Team's like..." These simply deceptive two little words hide a multitude of sins.Most notably arrogance,willful disrespect and massive delusions of grandeur...

This short phrase is only usually used in a pejorative sense, most commonly "We should be beating teams like xxxx." or "We should'nt be losing to teams like xxxx." to the less often used but equally reprehensible "We should'nt even be playing teams like xxxx"This attitude pre-supposes the inherent superiority of one club over another by nothing more than the dint of...Well frankly i don't have a clue to be honest...

I noticed it reared it's ugly head again this week on Twitter where a few---a minority thankfully---Wolves fans were tweeting that "Wolves should'nt be losing to a team like Walsall" However we did,and there's the rub.No matter how much this jaundiced hoary old trite is trotted out it keeps slapping those who believe it in the chops...

Before i get howls of protest from Wolves fans this is not a slight on my fellow fans,This happens at many,if not all,clubs.Not only that, i have heard it uttered by players and professional commentators on the game(who really should know better) indeed only three season's ago Wolves were one of those teams others should'nt have been losing to,most notably Man Utd,Man City,Chelsea,Spurs & Liverpool.Boy it was great to give them a bloody nose and send them packing.The likes of us beat all of the likes of them and we loved it...

Ok you could argue that those clubs are of such a high standing---well four of them are...ok then, three---that they had every right to feel they should not be losing to the like's of us.But i also saw comments from Everton,Newcastle,Sunderland & Villa fans on the now defunct BBC 606 website pushing out the very same nonsense.These are four clubs that have spent more time fighting relegation these last ten years than bothering the scorers at the top of,or even the middle, of the table...

This conceit is'nt just restricted to domestic football either.After their loss to Luxemburg some of the good denizens of Northern Ireland were coming out with this rubbish too...Northern Ireland if you please! There are'nt many international teams lower in the FIFA rankings but still they find someone to lord it over and still they lose to them...

Maybe it's a size thing---Like kids having a pissing competition---Some people find it hard to take being beaten by a so called "Smaller" club.As if having a higher wage bill,bigger fan base or more illustrious history counts on the field of play.It does'nt.What matters on the field of play is hard work,skill,confidence,healthy respect for the opposition & determination to succeed.What does'nt matter is a team taking to the pitch thinking they already have the game won because they should'nt lose to a team like this...

What of the teams others should'nt be losing too? Well mostly they'd be pretty pumped up for the game anyway but in these Twitterish days all the boss has to do is print off a few ill advised comments and pin them to the dressing room wall and hey presto! Team talk sorted...

The ironic thing is that i imagine many of those who say such things love nothing more than a good old fashioned giant killing except when it happens to their team as.you've guessed it, "We should'nt be losing to the likes of them..."

Wolves next game is another local derby at Shrewsbury...Now really we should'nt be losing to the likes of THEM!

Welcome to Hell...It's not all bad...

Many Wolves fans thought two consecutive demotions from the Premiership to Division One was akin to being plunged headlong into the fiery depths of Hades.Infact Hell's proved to be quite pleasant at this time of year...

Although boss Kenny Jackett has cobbled together a virtually new squad many of them have played together for years coming through the youth ranks so bedding a new team in has not been a problem and we have hit the ground running with five wins and one draw out of the first six league games.We're not top,that honour goes to Leyton Orient who've won all their league games so far.A tremendous effort from the O's.

To be honest we have'nt been at our best yet---apart from gubbing a very poor Gillingham---and on Saturday we were outplayed by a very good Swindon team, but we score goals even when struggling so we always have a chance...

Expectation is growing among the fans which can be a double edged sword of course.However just having fans who now expect to see us win a game is such a sea change from the last few years when the only expectation was that we would fail game after game.Yes it could be said we're "Only" playing Div One teams but that's because we are a Div One team,and deservedly so...

The fans at Wolves are starting to get back onside with the club too---obviously winning helps,but we can also see what the club are trying to do to move forward and we like it----Home gates are now close to the 20k mark and our away support has been nothing short of phenomenal with all out away ticket allocations at games sold out so far.We're still about 8k short of the crowds we were getting at Molineux when we were in the Premiership though.Clearly those missing fans would rather see us getting gubbed weekly by players they've heard of than watching us play fast exciting attacking football against players they don't know...No doubt they'll come back one day and make the place a lot quieter than it is now...

To be honest i have been pleasantly surprised by the quality of football i have seen in this division.Many think the lower leagues are just populated by hairy arsed bruisers who just lump the ball forward in the hope of picking up the knockdowns but i have seen lots of quick incisive passing and moving from many teams...

Maybe it's the inevitable trickle down effect from the Premiership where young homegrown talent has to look to the lower leagues to continue their careers as they're not getting a chance in the top league.Incidently i think the quality of the Premiership has diminished considerably over the last few years...

We still have forty league games left and there will inevitably be some hiccups along the way,especially as we have such a young squad but i expect us to be challenging with the top teams at the end of the season...

Welcome to Hell...

The Premiership so far...It's been a long hard season.

It's a Marathon not a sprint...

Arsenal) There seems to be disquiet among the Gooners about their club not spending any money so far this season,most notably on twitter from Piers Morgan who appears to have installed himself as leader of the unofficial Wenger out campaign.Despite losing to a young Villa team on opening day they will be fine.Nowhere near as bad as their own fans think.Have to get a settled forward line and drop the needless red cards...

Aston Villa) Had a tough time last year but survived with help from the goals of Benteke.Need to keep him if it's possible.They're a very young team but have some decent players.However sometimes watching them is like watching kids in the park all chasing the ball at the same time...Dare i say they need some experience down the spine of the team.

Cardiff)What a great fillip the 3-2 win over Man City is for them.One of the favourites to get relegated but may well survive if they can make the most of their home form in front of a hostile crowd.Maybe the away teams will be blindsided by the blue & red shirts donned by the Blue(red)birds fans...

Chelsea)Roman Abramovitch once got shot of Jose Mourinho because he wanted Chelsea to play attractive football all the time whilst still winning league titles.Six/seven/eight managers later---seriously who's counting?---and he's sussed that for league titles pragmatism may win the day so bought back the self styled "Special One" ----Don't know if Jose knows that being called "Special" in the UK has different connotations to his meaning---After three games his team have played well for one half and ground out the rest of the games gaining seven points on the way.Last night at Old Trafford he employed the Craig Levine school by not playing a striker...It's gonna be a long season.But ultimately could be a title winning one.

Crystal Palace) Everyone's whipping boys i'm afraid.Not that i think they're really that bad but not strong enough for the Premiership.For one thing they won't score enough goals.When the lily livered Chamakh is your striking focal point you have severe problems.Expect lots of unfounded conspiracy theories concerning bias from boss Ian Holloway...

Everton)Will Roberto Martinez turn them into Wigan part 2? If they lose their best players in the next two transfer windows they could well struggle to emulate the relative success of recent years...Expect discontent from their fans especially if ex manager Moyes buys Fellaini & Baines...

Fulham) With Super Mario taking over the reigns from freaky Al Fayed at The Cottage they have more money to spend on players.Have already bought Parker & Taarabt to compliment Berbatov but need to strengthen the defence...Will do what Fulham tend to do and finish mid table after flirting with relegation...

Hull City) Their new owner has insisted they be called Hull City Tigers.They won't be of course,except in jest.Did well to bring in Livermore & Huddlestone from Spurs.Tom Huddlestone in particular is a fine addition as he will run their midfield,he's not going to cut his hair till he scores.We're all hoping he grows the biggest Afro in history before that day comes....Think they'll have enough to stay up,just...

Liverpool) Say it quietly but there may be finally something going on at Liverpool after years of under achieving.If Sturridge can strike up his partnership with Suarez again---Providing Suarez does'nt spend half the term at the FA getting suspended---goals won't be a problem.Have also signed one of the best Premiership goalkeepers in Mignolet.Might be challenging for top four...

Man City) Got rid of Roberto Mancini for some reason or other---Footballing reason's barely seem to matter these days---Could win everything.Could just as easily not win a thing.This is Man City we're talking about here and messing up seems to be hotwired into their DNA(And this coming from a Wolves fan!) No one better going forward when they hit their straps but struggle at the back when Kompany is'nt playing.Joe Hart has also lost his mojo a bit too...

Man Utd) New manager! That's not been written about United for twenty five years.New boss David Moyes clearly clued up on Fergie's handbook by whinging about the fixtures even before the season began.Still need to strengthen at the back and get a commanding midfielder in.If Rooney goes and Van Persie gets injured may struggle(By struggle i mean finish second of course.It's all relative...)

Newcastle)Mags boss Alan Pardew is already getting his excuses in early so we can expect a hard season ahead.Like Man City you can always trust Newcastle to find ever inventive ways of messing up...If results don't go their way expect to see an unshaven Pardew by mid October...Expect to see a new manager by November.

Norwich)Signed the wonderfully named Ricky van Wolfswinkel in the summer.Does'nt appear to do much but very good in the air.Needs a good supply of crosses from the wing.Need to start picking up more points away from Carrow Road to remain away from bottom six...

Southampton) Always look good and with the manic Pablo Osvaldo joining Ricky Lambert upfront will be a bit of a force.Top ten is clearly not out of the question.Saints keep producing good youngsters too,especially left backs and they have unearthed another in Shaw.Expect a £10m bid from an un-named London club soon...

Spurs) "One nil to the Tottenham" Two games,two 1-0 wins.Both goals from penalties...George Graham would be proud.The Bale saga is still ongoing.Obviously the sooner it's sorted out the better for all concerned,especially Spurs, as---let's be honest here---£90m is a shed load of money and no player is worth that.Mind you Real Madrid still have'nt paid up for the last player they got from Spurs so don't hold your breath.Top four a possibility esp if they've gone all Arsenal circa mid 90's on us...

Stoke) A football revolution is taking place in the Potteries.Instead of  just humping the ball to the big lads upfront,under Mark Hughes they now pass it to each other a couple of times before humping the ball to the big lads upfront...Have struggled to score goals the last few seasons and will continue to do so...

Sunderland)This is the season we find out if Paolo Di Canio is any good as a top manager.Needs a goalscorer if Fletcher remains sidelined for much longer.Like Newcastle the fans will get restless pretty quickly if things don't start going right soon...Di Canio is already referring to himself in the third person.A worrying sign...

Swansea)So South Wales have two representatives in the Premiership for the first time ever.Doubtful if Swansea can reproduce the form from last season but have enough to stay out of trouble.Expect a lot of puns from newspapers with their impressive looking new signing Wilfried Bony...

West Brom) Suppose i'd better be objective here---Much as it pains me---West Brom will be fine but nowhere as good as last season.Now they have lost Lukaka and possibly Anelka(along with the recalcitrant Obemiwinge) They will be relying on Shane Long for goals.He's ok but will never get more than maybe ten a season.Needs help.Have done well to sign Sinclair from Man City's reserves.A lot could depend on how long the impressive goalkeeper Ben Foster is out for...

West Ham)Big Sam has finally laid the ghost of the "West Ham way" and now seems to have most Hammers fans onside...The service Matty Jarvis provides will be crucial.Still the best crosser of a ball in the Premiership by a mile.If Kevin Nolan & Joe Cole can keep producing the goods i can see a top ten finish...

So that's my look at the Premiership teams...

Meanwhile in Division One...

More than just another game...The promise of a bright future...

You could sense the tension walking to the ground on Saturday.After beginning with a creditable 0-0 draw at much fancied World Wrestling competitors Preston in the previous league game and then a non event defeat at our bogey team Morecambe in midweek the brave new world at Wolves was struggling to get into first gear...

Before the game there was a moving tribute to Dave Wagstaffe,the ex Wolves player and arguably the best winger never to play for  England,who sadly died earlier in the week at the age of 70.----RIP Waggy----The atmosphere in the South Bank was pretty charged for what non Wolves fans would regard as a routine league game.But every home fan knew the significance of what was about to occur.It was cranked up a notch by the kick off being delayed for ten minutes.Presumably so that the Gillingham manager,Martin Allen could squeeze into his frankly ridiculous red Chinos...

It's been well documented what's happened at the club these last two years and new manager Kenny Jackett is well aware of the schism between the club and it's fans.Indeed he's made a point of talking about it on several occasions.But the goodwill is slowly coming back helped by putting the emphasis on young homegrown players.Players who have no baggage about playing in front of a Molineux crowd known to make nervous out of form players cower and disappear in the past.These players know they have the fans backing from the off.They also appear to have carte blanche to attack and entertain,especially at home...

Wolves started at a brisk pace and it was no surprise when we took the lead on five minutes.A raking crossfield pass from Captain Sam Ricketts found Griffiths in space on the edge of the area,he took it on his chest and volleyed a sweet left footer into the bottom corner.Dare i say it but that was a finish Steve Bull would have been proud of...

This is the first time i've seen Leigh Griffiths live and he look's a player.Never mind his natural goal scoring ability he also makes space by being constantly on the move---he must be a bugger to mark----Has a great first touch and can spot a pass.Not bad for £150,000!

Griffiths has had his run ins over the last few years with authorities---Both within football and in the real world---And there's no doubt he can be what's termed as a loose cannon.But i'm also sure he'd become a target for every Jakey in Scotland wanting to make a name for themselves by giving it to him.Leaving his own country and settling in the Midlands may be the making of him.At only 22 he has time to mature and make a name for himself in the right way...

It was all Wolves and no great surprise when Lee Evans grabbed his first goal for the club either.Latching on to a Griffiths shot/cross to steer the ball into the corner.Again this was my first view of Evans live and he looked comfortable in the middle of the park alongside David Davies---who had his best game for us by a long way----Another player who looks a bit of a bargain at £200,000.

Bakary Sako grabbed the third---He's only been at Wolves a year but seemed like a grizzled old veteran compared to most of his team mates---His blast into the top corner nearly uprooted the goals from the pitch.he was nicely set up by Zeli Ismail,another player i was seeing live for the first time.he's got something about him without a doubt.

Ismail is Albanian born His mother came to the UK as a refugee with the then three year old Zeli.They settled in Heath Town,Wolverhampton---Not unlike Albania but with a better bus service,i'm an ex Heath Town resident so can say this----He's been at the club since he was ten and may have made an impact earlier but lost his way a bit,partly due to an ex coach saying he'd be the first £100m footballer.At 15 you don't need that kind of pressure.Anyway he's 19 now and hopefully his career at Wolves is about to explode.

The one way traffic continued after the break but the only reward was the most obvious penalty your ever going to see expertly converted by Griffiths...

So 4-0 in the end and it could have been double that but never mind.I'm happy to keep a few goals back for tighter games.The manner of the win was most pleasing however.The young lads showed a vibrant attacking game many Wolves fans feared we'd never see again,We made more chances in this one game than about six last season...

It's quite nice coming out of the ground happy with the team's performance...It's been a while since that happened.

Wolves 4 Gillingham 0 Hopefully a game that saw the new Wolves rise from the ashes...