Crash! Bang! Wallop! The peoples Olympics opens...

Immediately after the Chinese opening ceremony had finished four years ago the first thought in many Brits heads was'nt "Where's our first medal coming from?" but rather "How the hell are we going to compete with that?"

The Chinese had put on a faultless spectacular.But it was essentially a statement from China to the Western World proclaiming they were no longer a rural backwater but a force to be reckoned with and we'd better watch out...Yes it was wonderful but like all state run operations it was a show of strength that lacked heart...

The decision  to make Danny Boyle the brains behind the London 2012 opening ceremony was inspired, allowing him to get on with it without interference showed balls.the result was a magnificent kaleidoscope of Britain's history and institutions,combining spectacular sets with lashings of Humour...The fact that much of the watching world did'nt get it was neither here or there...It was a case of sit back and enjoy the ride...

Surprising then that it all began in predictable fashion with a flypast by The Red Arrows to open the ceremony.In the UK it's easy to become nonchalant whenever they make an appearance but in truth they can still make the hairs stand on end...Barely ten seconds after whizzing past the Olympic Stadium they were rattling my windows...

That was about as predictable as the show got...Danny Boyle is a story teller so knows how to build a narrative....

So we began slowly with a nod to our rural past and an idyllic that probably never existed.Comely buxom wenches watching ruddy faced yeomen playing cricket on a village green with ne'er a care in the world...

But wait! who's this? why it's Isambard Kingdom Brunel! in the guise of Kenneth Branagh.Complete with stove hat and cigar---Unlit as per smoking at work regulations--By the way American readers,if a character turns up in stove hat and britches do not immediately assume it's Abraham Lincoln,as many did...IKB issued forth the Industrial Revolution.

This was very spectacular as GB's green and pleasant land was transformed into a visual embodiment of Blake's Jerusalem complete with dark Satanic mills...After a slow start the show was now beginning to really cook...

By this stage i was gripped...twitter was going nuts too,it was hard to keep up with both but hell we gave it a good go!

The next stage of the show bought forth the most controversy.After a nod to the Suffragettes we got a full on tip of the hat and bow of respect  to the National Health Service---The UK's shining light in my humble opinion---Complete with extra large beds,each containing a happy bouncing child and dancing nurse---these were not actors/dancers either but real nurses---The spectre of a Government intent on destroying our most cherished of institutions was realised by a huge evil Lord Voldemort hovering with malevolent intent over the innocent children...

Ok it was as subtle as a flying hammer,but the point was made to the whole world.Much to the chagrin of some Tory MP's and horrible little rags like the Daily Mail,who also complained that the show was "Too ethnic" I would'nt advise The Mail watch the 100 meters final then lest it bring on a collective Aneurysm among it's rabid reactionary hacks...

By this time my Twitter/Facebook timeline was indicating that many outside the UK were totally confused by the references.So Boyle's masterstroke was to add well known worldwide British exports Mr Bean,James Bond & The Queen to reel in those who may have been giving up on it...Rowan Atkinson(aka Mr Bean) did a comic turn to Chariots of Fire--Nice Olympic juxtaposition there.

...Ah the wonders of the modern World eh?

But the real thrill was the Bond/Queen skit...When the Video of Daniel Craig(aka James Bond) began of him walking through Buck House nobody could know what was to come next...Everyone thought it would be a look-a-like Queen he spoke to.But no,it was Queenie herself! even hardened Republicans of my acquaintance were beside themselves.you could almost hear the whole country shouting "Bloody hell it's the Queen!"

I don't know who Boyle's agent is but he deserves a hell of a raise...

There was also a fine musical montage running through the proceedings,there were some fine choices seemingly chosen from Boyle's MP3...Indeed within seconds of the finish ITunes had released an album of the ceremony!

On and on the show went,we'd all run out of superlatives by now.It was just a case of gawping open mouthed at the spectacle in front of us...Among the celebrations there was a poignant memorial to the victims of the 7/7 terrorist attacks.In America NBC chose to cut this out of their broadcast.

The Olympians had their customary alphabetical flag bearing walk through into the stadium.Although this was a long winded affair it was jolly.The athletes obviously relishing the relaxed atmosphere of the show.The Czechs showed a good sense of humour aligned with a familiarity with British weather by donning Wellingtons and umbrellas...GB came out to Bowie's "Heroes" Pure class...

For weeks there had been speculation on who would light the flame.Beckham? Redgrave? Old Mother Hubbard? 

Again there was a surprise;Beckham sped down the Thames on a speedboat with the torch,handed over to Steve Redgrave...Ah so it was Redgrave all along? But no,seven aspiring teenage Athletes who'd been nominated by established British Athletes were waiting with a torch each to light the flame...The torch had also been given a guard of honour by 500 builders who'd worked on the Olympic Stadium.Good old Danny...

So that was the show.Did we come through? 

Hell Yea!