Thursday, 12 July 2012

Moan moany moan...A grumpy Blog

I was considering writing  a blog about lovely smiley things like Bunny Rabbits &  fluffy clouds...But after spending the last four days at work listening to constant moany moans from co workers i'm in a vindictive mood...Besides it's more fun...

Like all moany moans this is'nt about the big things that really matter but mundane everyday things that don't, but still rankle...

Gastropubs;  Maybe it's an age thing but i hate them.A pub should be for drinking in, with the occasional bar snack thrown at you by truculent bar staff, but many of them are now a cross between The Golden Egg & The Nell Gwynne Tearooms...Have you ever actually tried getting a bloody drink in one of these abominations?

First off at the bar the harassed staff are not only trying to serve drinks but also have to take the food order of a family of ten that's just walked through the door and barged their way to the front cos' "The kids are restless" Well don't bring the kids then! Infact stay at home and leave the pub for it's original function...Once you get a drink where to sit? You can't sit at 75% of the tables as they have been designated for the fucking Waltons to chow down like pigs at a trough...Oh and while i'm on one don't tut loudly when i sit outside smoking as you munch loudly whilst allowing your brood to re-create The Lord of The Flies around my feet.It's you fuckers who drove us smokers outside in the first place...Oh and don't even get me started on Wetherspoons.The tenth level of Hades...

Heavy manners; Believe it or not i consider myself quite a well mannered .I always do my please & Thank You's.I open doors for people.I'm a frigging champion at the No 1 Brit sport of queuing---Which ain't easy in Hackney where queuing mostly consists of hanging around randomly within 20 yards of where the queue should be---50% of the time i get a favourable response & don't get too hot under the collar if i don't.After all 50% is a pretty good return...

However i live in multi occupation building and when i am in the lobby anyone who passes i say hello to--or variations  thereof---and when i say hello---or variations thereof---I expect a response,not 50% of the time,not 75% of the time but 100% of the time...

See, we live in a decent, clean & safe place.The location is bloody brilliant.10 min from anywhere in central London and rents are reasonable...So when i am in the lobby either going out or coming in and i say hello--or variations thereof---I am not a mugger,rapist or Jehovah Witness.I am a fellow resident attempting to exchange the barest of human contact with people that i have at least one thing in common with.

When i say hello--or variations thereof---I am not attempting anything more.I don't want a relationship with you or an invite to your parents house for Xmas dinner.I am just being well mannered.So those of you who ignore me, get over yourself.Or to put it another way.Go fuck yourself...Or variations thereof.

Twitter/Facebook;

I love them both for different reasons.Over the last couple of years both have been a tremendous boon to my life and to be honest i could'nt imagine not being able to access either.Oh i'd get by of course but life would be a bit poorer.Plus it's all free...apart from a small bit of personal info,which is floating about on the web anyway whether you have these social media outlet or not...

So what's my gripe? Well to read some Tweeters/Facebookers you'd be forgiven for thinking that both of these were the tool of the Devil himself,Constantly complaining about the damned things...

If used well it opens up the whole world for you and it's free! what's the problem? If it's that useless then bugger off and do something else...

Oh and before i bugger off myself one last one.Complete and utter gobshites who insist on pinning up a rota for everything...Fucks sake grow up!

Ah that's better...Lol.





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