This may seem premature,especially if you're the type of football fan who thinks the game begins and ends with the Premiership in England...However Division 1 & 2 finished last week,The Championship ends tomorrow and who the hell knows when the top division draws to it's conclusion...
There was a time in the not so distance past when all football in England finished the season on the same day to be followed by the FA Cup final the Saturday after(3-00 pm KO) but over the last few years this has altered radically as those more interested in income than the well being of the game squeeze-every-last-drop out of players and fans alike...One day there won't be any life left to drip out of football but while the cash cow keeps on topping up the coffers these vampiric parasites will continue their insidious ruination of our national sport...
Anyhoo,on to the awards;
The Jimmy Saville spectacular fall from grace wooden spoon goes to Wolves.My team will probably drop to Division 1 tomorrow barely twelve months after being a premiership club...
The Little Chef All-you-can-eat running buffet silver ladle jointly goes to Northampton's Ade Akinfenwe,who gives hope to all overweight fans in the country and Luis Suarez for making Cannibalism fashionable again...
The David Cameron We're-all-in-this-together Offshore trust fund gold credit card goes to Barnet council who refused Barnet FC permission to improve their ground thereby forcing the club to relocate five miles out of the borough in Edgware...
The Don't-mention-the-war-i-did-once-but-think-i-got-away-with-it award goes to Germany for showing the world how football should be run both on and off the pitch...
The Nigel Farage We're all Europeans now one Euro gold ring goes to Man Utd,Man City,Chelsea and Arsenal for doing the decent thing and making the Champions League enjoyable again...
The Annual Jurassic Park tethered goat award goes to Dean Saunders at Wolves for not really having a clue...Bless him.
The Annual Lord Lucan disappeared without trace ankle tag goes to Scott Sinclair who gave up an almost guaranteed first team place at Swansea for two meaningless League Cup games a season at Man City...
The Annual Where-the-hell-are-we Sat Nav goes to Wolves fans to use next season...Probably.
The Joe Hart What's-my-motivation luvee Fedora & Cravat award to Rio Ferdinand for his Diva like refusal to join the England squad.
The George Osborne gold plated Monopoly set for judicial financial soundness in the face of overwhelming odds to Harry Redknapp.
The Stan Collymore embossed NCP pass to Peter Odemwinge.
The Ed Milliband credible opposition mounted Mace to Man City for barely troubling the scorers...
The Audley Harrison going down without a fight flying towel to,who else? Wolves.
The Dale Winton who knew? earplugs goes to the PFA who were shocked & stunned by the content of the comedian booked to entertain them.the act,Reginald D Hunter, is a black American from Georgia.The PFA were surprised his act contained some jokes about race...
That concludes this evening's awards...Oh and if Wolves do somehow succeed in staying up tomorrow these results stand...
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