Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#75

Standing outside the hotel at 7-15am having a smoke.Still dark and still pissing down.A “couple “ approached me asking if the hotel was open.Him about 45 her about 20.No luggage…they clearly wanted a room for,let’s say “ recreational “ reasons and maybe for an hour if I’m being generous.I had to disappoint them by telling them there were no staff on duty and there’s no bloody way I was letting them in! They went off,him frustrated and her probably ruing a lost earning potential.Life’s rich taperstry… 

Last night in Düsseldorf turned out pretty good.The bar was quiet so I was shooting the breeze with Gary the English barman when suddenly about twenty young folk came in and livened up the place.Gary told me they were all Polizei and were regularly in there getting pissed.I have to say( and I noticed this on the train today too) there are some very attractive women Polizei in Germany…anyway then a party of about ten Spaniards came in and they were good fun.I kept accidentally bombing their group photos…look what I’m saying is I basically got pissed with a load of German plod,a few Spanish holiday makers and Gary,an English bloke born in Nottingham,supporting Chelsea and living in Düsseldorf…Life‘s rich tapestry…

Got the train to Mainz ok( change at Frankfurt airport) after a bit of comical changing of platforms for about three trains in five minutes at Düsseldorf HBF.Much Keystone cops rushing about by everyone.Needed not to worry too much as our train was 15 minutes late leaving anyway…got to the next stop after Cologne and loads of Polizei got on but not in a Millwall are playing at Birmingham kinda way just taking seats in different carriages.There must have been twenty five dotted about the train and I assumed (correctly) they‘d all get off at Frankfurt airport…I had a couple of Polizei sat by me and yet again the women were stunning.I’m sure they aren’t employed due to their pulchritudinous,especially as this is Germany and that’s just not the way but it does seem bizarre…sorry the inane ramblings of a sad old geezer…

Mainz seems ok.Having a bevvy by the Hauptbahnhof as the hotel is only two tram stops away.Nice hotel as well,great room on the fifth floor with a lift,ok it only goes to the fourth floor cos’s this is Germany and you have to do at least one flight of stairs a day but y’know,little steps.Literally…I did have to explain to the receptionist what happened to the passport especially as her face betrayed something akin to finding dog shit on your shoes when I handed her the still slightly damp and limp item.At least the look of disgust disappeared…

I also managed to buy a ticket for The The at The Halls ( should that be The The Halls?) in Wolves in about a year’s time.It’s on a Friday at the end of September so if there’s a home game that weekend it would be a great crack.They’re one of my favourite bands so well chuffed…

Did I mention that it’s back to T-Shirt & shorts weather in this part of Germany? Had my trusty Primark coat on all day then suddenly get to Mainz and it’s summer again…middle of October man.Crazy…Talking of Mainz If I get into a football conversation I must remember not to slag off Klopp.He played here for years and is a bit of a hero in these parts.I will keep my counsel on Mr Klopp whist here…

Anyway good people gonna publish this now but there could be add ons later…Caio for now.

Ps When I was in Frankfurt Airport earlier i just got off the escalator and heard an almighty crashing behind me.Someone had dropped their wheelie suitcase from the top.Now it wasn’t as big as Angel Tube escalator and luckily it was empty but it was a fair drop and the suitcase survived intact.Props to the fella who dropped it,he came down with all eyes on him,shrugged,and went back upstairs…