Bilious Blog…Around Europe in 80 days#39

It’s not true that Czech women all look like super models,it’s only about half of them.Neither is it true that all the blokes look like unemployed mercenaries,again it’s only about half,the other half look like unemployed trendy university professors sacked for sleeping with their students…joking aside it’s hard to tell who’s local in Prague as it’s such a popular destination for tourists but Budejovice seemed to have a huge number of very attractive women so with the beer being so good there it must be the water.After three days there I feel prettier myself…

Start of the day I had a coffee with the Ukrainian waitress,once again there was only us two there but she assured me they do get punters in occasionally…then I went off to Malastranska to see the memorial that my dad’s name is embossed on.Luckily I know that area fairly well as I stayed there last time I was here so I found it easily( well it’s directly opposite the metro station so it couldn’t be easier) For those not aware it’s a statue of a winged lion dedicated to the Czech people by Britain as thanks for the 2,500 Czech airmen who fought with the RAF to help defeat the Nazis in WW2 and my dad was one of them.Have to say it bought a lump to my throat when I saw it…happy to say also that there were a good few people having a look at it too.I Resistead the urge to point out my old fella’s name…it was,and will always be,a proud moment…

I decided to hang around Malastranska for the rest of the day as it’s a cool part of the city,it’s on the other side of Charles Bridge from the main tourist area on the other side of the river but it’s also where the castle is so gets pretty busy too.Anyway that’s all done and dusted.I’m currently in the middle of Wenceslas Square having a drink in the Tram Cafe which is actually an old tram,but outside unfortunately…

Turns out Czechia are playing Albania tonight not too far from where I’m staying in Vysehrad.Apparently there’s a bit of bad blood between the counties from the old Soviet days.I think the Albanians thought the Czech’s version of Stalinism was far too wishy washy and wet or something…seen a few Albanian fans getting pissed but it’s pretty quiet for such a big game…

I’m slowly getting a handle on very basic Czech which has helped me to enjoy the city more than last time.I feel a lot more relaxed here than I did before.I think the few days I had in Budejovice helped as hardly anyone spoke English and it forced me to get to grips with the basics.I even ordered my meal & dessert in Czech earlier( ok I was reading it off the menu but still) i got what I wanted too.So yea,big up to me..,

I can hear football style chanting coming from yonder so I assume the beer has kicked in with the Albanians.Game doesn’t start for a few hours and there’s no point getting on the metro now as I’ll probably get hearded in with the Albanian fans by the police…I’ve just got pretty from the Budejovice water remember and don’t fancy getting a baton across my face…

 

I haven’t even bothered with the well known centre of Prague this time.I might do but it’s gonna be early before the tourists have breakfast otherwise,like Oxford St & Leicester Square,it turns into a meat market and in truth I have seen it all before and,like London,there’s a lot more to the city than those places in the centre…

Anyway I got a very detailed dossier from my Czech friend in London Nela (@desperatelittlefucker on instagram.Great name!) about things to do in Prague away from the centre so I’d better follow that or I’m in trouble! 

So as they seem to say in most of Europe ( except France) ciao…

Ps.After a small detour on the tram( got lost,it’s dark and the language is all in foreign like) Found a halfway home stop I recognised.Saw a chemist.Despite all the stuff I said earlier about trying the local language it turns out it’s far easier to mime smelly feet.Point at feet,hold nose,say “urgghh” anyway I got some spray…it’s the shoes more than the feet but hopefully it’s gonna work.If not I’ll brush up my mime skills…