60 Days in Europe…#30 Genoa—Paris

So things started off interesting today and very nearly became both interesting and complicated…first off had coffee in the station.It’s a bustling place at the top of a hill( this is Genoa,everything is at the top of a hill) There’s a long road down to the port side filled with hotels etc and loads of tourists.Halfway down it’s all blocked off by police with tape,ambulances,the works.Think they found a body this morning( just seen it was a suspicious device found in a church )so all of us are being directed down the mini alleyways that are even more forbidding than the main ones.These having far few commercial ventures and consequently are much dirtier & sleazy than the main drag that attracts tourists.Nobody ever ventures this way! I grabbed a seat midway and watched the look of bemused horror on the faces of luggage wielding tourists wondering what the hell they’d let themselves in for.All good fun…

Then later I decided to communicate with the landlord of the place I’m staying in to say thanks and let him know my leaving plans for tomorrow…the trouble is we are communicating via Google translate on our phones having not seen each other since I got here.Now Google translate is fine but probably not 100% and I suddenly started getting messages ending with lots of !!!??? and I knew something was up.After a few frantic to & fros it turned out he thought I was leaving today not tomorrow and wanted to know why he couldn’t find the keys etc in the end he realised the cock up,was very apologetic and called me a wonderful guest & a gentleman.Not a good judge of character clearly…have to admit I was getting worried though! Serves me right for laughing at the poor scared looking buggers earlier…

When I went into a slight morality lecture yesterday it was particularly inspired by sitting in the station cafe outside area that morning.I use it everyday and it’s where the police,military (there’s always a few around) and train staff hang out and it serves good cheap coffee too…it was pretty full and a loud American family were tearing into what a shithole and how boring Genoa was.Now have that opinion if you want even though you’re wrong & stupid but understand that even though English is not wildly spoken many police,military & train staff understand it perfectly and will take umbrage at their city being loudly condemned in their presence by oafish tourists.I noticed they were getting a good few side eye glances from many there.I was very tempted to chime in but bit my lip but it stayed with me all day…

Early train tomorrow.By early I’m talking 5-20am.I know right! Partly the reason I chose to stay right by the station was to accommodate this trip.I did the same last year but only as far as Lyon,this time it’s three hours longer at about 11 hours.Yikes! The early train will be chock full of workers going to the docks then it’s about a three hour trip along the Mediterranean coast (arguably better than the Cinque Terre route) to Ventimiglia,where luckily I know there’s a good cafe over from the station.Hope it’s still open,then along the coast to Nice,a place I had a bad time in last year but hopefully things are better this time around.finally a five hour train to Paris…I could have gone another route via Turin & Zurich but it’s the same length and they wanted reservations for each leg which would have come to about €70 and I think we can all agree that can fuck off.I’ll take my chances with a fine on the Nice to Paris leg…

However I am in a quandary.Italy play Switzerland in a few hours and I feel it’s now my patriotic duty to watch the game down by the docks.No worries,even with extra time,penalties & the stupidity of VAR the game should be over by 8pm but, but, oh man there’s another game on later and I know me.The temptation to stay will be pulling at me even though I have that thing tomorrow.We will see.I might be disciplined…

Well for once I was disciplined! Now in the cafe bar at the bottom of the hill( which is back open) which seems to have two waitresses that work about 18 hours a day.Anyway game was rubbish from an Italian point of view but the Swiss were great.Surprised that none of the watching punters seemed too bothered about the display & result.There was a weary acceptance of it all…

Finish this drink then off to bed I hope.Will find out if I have a bed to sleep in when I get up the hill…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#29 Genoa…

Some of you are no doubt thinking “he’s not mentioned laundry for a while.I bet he’s a bit smelly now” well no more smelly than usual…it’s getting close to that time again and in truth there’s a perfect opportunity to do it here as where I’m staying has a washing machine but it looks like mine and mine doesn’t dry well so I hang the clothes up in the airing cupboard.Or I could embrace the local custom and hang them across to the adjoining flats…anyway because of the wonders of modern technology I have sussed a place close to where I’m staying in Paris,and nothing says romance like watching your underwear do the spin dry hula in a Parisian laundromat…

Sat down for a smoke underneath a marble statue of someone or other.Wizened old bloke strikes up a conversation which I fail to understand of course.Explain I’m British with not much Italian speech “No no no no Italiano! Calabria! Calabria! No Italiano” he was getting quite animated in his insistence he was Calabriano not Italian(a long way from home too) sometimes it’s a minefield trying to keep up with all the different separatist movements…even though he got pretty heated he was still a nice old fella and we did that awkward shake hands/ fist bump thing on parting ways…

At the moment I’m looking around the Caruggi district of Genoa.For those unfamiliar Caruggi just means “Alleys” and that’s a wild understatement of where I am.Google rather unhelpfully calls it “Ghetto “ when posting a position update on Facebook and whilst it may look like your classic ghetto in parts, in reality it’s anything but…firstly if you charge €5 for a coffee in an artisan cafe you’re about as ghetto as Shoreditch,secondly some parts are full of top of the range independent clothes shop with prices that make you blow out your cheeks…however that being said the area has got everything going for it.Miles of tiny walkways littered with shops & cafes.Also leading off every main alley are lots of smaller alleys that either look inviting to investigate or absolutely terrifying depending on your nerves…it’s truely fascinating,terrifying,exciting,beautiful & ugly all in equal measure.I would recommend anyone who visits Genoa to spend a day walking around as it’s worth it but probably best to depart before the night descends as I believe it’s an area for some roughhousing and picking off of unwary tourists…the days are fine though…

Luckily it appears Caruggi has escaped the dreaded curse of gentrification.I don’t think even those snakes responsible for such heresy across the world would either dare,or get away with, trying to modernise such a wonderful area of the city…Infact it looks like many parts of Italian medieval cities have escaped this curse.I could be wrong but hope not…

Tomorrow is not only my last full day in Genoa but in Italy also and it’s been a blast.It’s an excellent country full of great food,beer & people and of course wonderful well preserved historical cities.If you’ve never been then give it a go.It’s very easy to see why it’s so popular.Even the bigger cities seem to have a certain calmness despite their size.I’ve enjoyed it immensely.Fits in perfectly with my state of mind,if you don’t take yourself too seriously,laugh easily and don’t mind the odd local gently taking the piss out of you I’m betting you’d love it too…like all countries,say hello,please,thank you,goodbye,don’t be a disrespectful arsehole and expect locals to fall all over you cos’ you have a bit of money to spend then you’ll be fine.It’s good to know some local language obviously but the basics will do and people always get by even if it takes a bit longer.So be cool and you’ll get on fine with the Italians.They’re ok…sorry went on a bit of a lecture there.Whooops…anyway I will no doubt return,hopefully soon…sadly there is one down side.No matter how cool you think you look,you ain’t ever out cooling an Italian…sorry.

If you’re a smoker by the way it’s pretty friendly that way.Not as many seem to smoke here as in Germany ( to be fair nowhere does,even France).But it’s still ok that way.Not found any bars that allow it but the weather is generally that good it doesn’t matter.You can smoke on train platforms like Germany and a pack of 20 is just over €6 which is half that of the UK and also I think France too.So I might stock up before Sunday…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#28 Genoa…

After the slight kerfuffle with the hotel I popped out for a bevvy.I’m in an area of Genoa I know from last year so things were very familiar…first place they made me pay upfront,which is rare but it’s close to the station so maybe they’ve had runners(incidentally don’t do that,it’s a twat’s trick) there were a lot of Brits there too…took a stroll down to the docks where there’s some waterside bars,on the way are some sexy narrow side streets with artisan cafes & dodginess inter mingled…

I was only gonna have a quick(ish) pint but the bar had the arse end of the Ukraine v Belgium game on and I thought I’ve missed too much of the Euros already and Pedro Neto was starting for Portugal next game in what is bound to be an exciting free role to fully exploit his speed & skill.Can’t wait…ah well the football was shocking,apart from Georgia who were superb.Martinez decided he didn’t want to utilise Neto’s talents and played him as a shackled wing back with no space to use in front of him.Martinez clearly hails from the same Sunday school football thinking as Southgate…oh and Ronaldo is now a parody of his former greatness.A sort of Ken doll propping up the bar scrounging drinks for anecdotes…

Anyway good drink,enjoyed the football in a perverse way then decided to get the bus home…last bus,caught it before but had forgotten where I got off and for some reason thought the bus would double back and drop me outside the digs.It didn’t…ah well long walk home,luckily I sort of knew where I was and luckily it was downhill…

Been to Genoa Brignole station to try to sort out Sunday’s reservations to Paris but as I thought they couldn’t help as it’s only the French bit demanding them and it’s a different jurisdiction.This happened before at Nice(my change to Paris) it was mayhem and I ended up with a fine.I fully expect the same outcome.That’s life as the French say…

Saw the same number bus as last night so decided to catch it wondering where it went.Doing a bit of a tour and spotted a tiny bistro,fancied lunch and got off.It’s up in the hills above the city naturally,only the other side of town.The place has what The Guardian would describe as a certain rustic charm and of course the food was excellent…I so don’t want to descend into the Italian cliche of the Chef’s kiss followed by “ Bellissimo!” But then again I really do…

Genoa is huge.I wasn’t even aware how big until I latched onto that bus earlier.It goes in a circle so roams all over the shop and apart from width & depth there’s also the height too.A truely mega place and it looks nuts and cool too…if you’re ever here and want a good look around at cheapest prices get the 36 from outside Genova Brignole and you’ll not only get a unique sight seeing experience but also an insight into Italian bus driving techniques…

Laters alligators…

As I walked through the port side earlier some lads playing football and I got two touches(more than Kane the other night) one a deft control & flick with my right,the other a first time pass with my left.Been in Italy 13 days and I’m practically Andrea Pirlo so if you’re reading this WWFC I’m ready & waiting for the call…

60 Days in Europe…#27 Genoa…

Woke up this morning with itchy bitten legs & arms.Even though I have the mosquito spray it might be something that that doesn’t care about such pathetic human solutions.Also the nights have been humid and I’ve been sleeping on top of the bed rather than under the covers and also with a window open so not really helping myself there…luckily next door was a pharmacy so popped in and bought both anti histamine gel & tablets.The woman said the tablets were strong so it could be an interesting next ten days.The fact that you only get ten to a pack might vouch for their potency…all in all the two items were €23 so not cheap but hopefully it’s a price worth paying.Any trips in future I must remember to bring some cream.The European insects seem to like my blood…

Currently at La Spezia station waiting for the train.Luckily the coastal influencer trains all appear to be leaving from over the other side so hopefully mine won’t be too full,despite going the same direction I don’t think it stops in any of the desirable instagram hot spots…had a message from the hotel asking if it’s ok not to check in until 17-00.Fine by me as I stop at a station in Genoa I’m not familiar with and I will need time to work out where I’m actually going…

Journey fine.Chatted to a couple of French girls from Brittany on the platform,then a couple British girls from Northampton (they said South Midlands) on the train then when they got off a young French woman & baby sat by me and was rocking the nursery rhythms…the views are pretty spectacular but far too many tunnels to get decent train shots “ I’ll just line up this sho…damn another tunnel “ ah well.I can see why loads of people go along the coast though…

Got to Genoa Brignole and easily found the other station I needed.Grabbed a coffee and a salty old sea dog on the next table immediately recognised me as English because of how I drank it! Or it was a good guess.Anyway had a chat with him and now waiting outside the hotel for the boss man to turn up…

Ok I have learned a lot about myself on these solo trips and one thing is don’t be scared to put yourself out and ask if you’re in a spot.It’s a conceit of machismo to not ask for help if the situation arises.Invariably in a foreign country there will be language barriers but you get by…I was standing by what I thought was the hotel,I knew I was close but it wasn’t clearly defined.It was only 5 minutes past the time the fella said he’d be there but instinctively I knew I was in the wrong place so decided to walk into a local shop that was being done up,asked a workman if he knew the place by showing him the address on my phone.He spoke no English but held a finger up and dialed a call.Turns out he knew the bloke and it’s a sort of Airbnb(don’t know why I didn’t suss) and he came round and we got it sorted.He’s got no English either so we’ll get along just fine…seems ok.

The other good thing is I already have the Genoa transport app on my phone from last time and it kicked right in,didn’t even need to recall my password which obviously wouldn’t have happened.Actually on reflection that might not be a good thing after all.Anyway it made a change from the usual hoops you have to jump through…

It’s a lovely evening here in Genoa after a solid downpour earlier.Think I’ll take a stroll down the docks later…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#26 La Spezia—Genoa

Last day in La Spezia and despite the weather,or maybe because of the bad weather,it’s been pretty cool.Once again I have come across some good people willing to chat and also equally willing to take the piss out of my appalling attempts at Italian…tomorrow is the start of the second half of the trip which is solely to places I have been to before so know relatively well.Sort of…

Nearly got mowed over coming out of the digs by a very determined Chinese walking party.Those buggers weren’t letting up steam for anyone! At one one point I thought I’d have to join their throng just to make headway down the street.Started to think “well this is my life now,continually walking the world with fifty elderly Chinese “ These walking parties are almost cult like in their single minded devotion to walking around European cities…

I had the local transport app all locked & loaded but never needed it as it’s a very walkable city ( just ask the Chinese) even though it’s a fair size for a city of under 100,000 people I have found it fine to stroll around.Granted I haven’t been up in the surrounding hills where I would have used it but hey…

Apart from the assorted dock jobs I have no idea what the local industry is.There are two fairly big cruise ships parked up at the moment so obviously tourism plays a big roll in creating income but it’s not immediately apparent as there doesn’t appear to be much in the way of tourist traps,just your bog standard shops & cafe bars,which all seem to do decent business…

There’s also a fair few people who live in,or close to,the city centre which is something I feel depressed down at heel cities like Wolverhampton should encourage more.Get more locals into the centre,create a buzz about the place.It would encourage more to come in and start spending money there again.You keep everyone in the suburbs and the centre dies,the centre dies and eventually the suburbs die too.That’s something that should be looked at in my layman’s opinion…

Sitting in a cafe earlier having a coffee and got chatting to a Nigerian fella flogging tat.He was asking how long it would take to get to London by car and when i said two days he was incredulous.I tried to explain about sleeping etc but he wasn’t having it.Later in the convo he wanted to know about house prices etc but again was incredulous with what I told him.He’s gonna have to flog a lot of outsized plastic sun glasses that light up but I didn’t tell him that…

Like yesterday the daytime rain has buggered off and the early evening is glorious (look I’m British I’m allowed to bang on about the weather) They’re setting up tented stalls all along the street where I’m drinking for a wine festival this coming weekend.Shame I won’t be here but them’s the breaks…

Genoa is only about 100 miles north of here so a nice easy trip.All my Italian train journeys have been relatively short but I do have some arse numbing trips coming up.Genoa to Paris is probably gonna be close to a ten hour job so I’m saving what little energy I have for those.All part of the fun…is what I keep telling myself.Besides gotta have something to write about.I know you all love a good horror journey and in a perverse way I do too…

Ended up on my last day in the “ local” and had a good chat with Erica the sexy barmaid,who,guess what? Lived in London for a while,Canada Water to be exact.Didn’t like it because of the noise & rain.Couldn’t argue about the noise but had to pull her up about the rain as it’s done nothing but here the last three days.She had no argument of course.Anyway all nice & happy etc and on to the next “ local” hopefully…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#25 La Spezia…

It’s a rainy day in La Spezia and  that means,dodge rain,coffee,dodge rain,coffee,dodge rain,coffee,dodge rain,oh is that the time? Beer,and so on and so on…

Yesterday the rain came in from the coast but today it’s rolling in down from the mountains so it’s much more rainy…

Before the rains came I took a stroll to the station to check out the train to Genoa in a few days.Luckily no seat reservation required on the service I’m on.Half of them do but I have time and it’s a short journey so naturally chose one free of restrictions…just down the road I noticed about five walking tours all going to the station,each one about fifty strong(basically a coach load) it puzzled me but getting there I realised they’re all off up the coast to various photo friendly small towns hugging the shoreline,It was rammed…the price being paid for being influencer instagram photogenic…

Now I’m on instergam and the like so can appreciate a good pic etc,although I tend to try to find an awful dad joke pun where I can so it’s nothing too serious.But like Ponte Vecchio in Florence how much more can these places take? I am also aware that despite railing against such things I’m also part of the problem and the ultimate hypocritical arsehole…it probably wasn’t too long ago that these towns in the Cinque Terre were quietly plodding along with barely a care in the world then travel shows,broadsheet newspapers and dickish travelers writing blogs started telling the world about these wonderful unspoilt parts of Europe that you simply have to visit darling and the world duly took note and visited and the dye was cast…we are very much in danger of destroying the places of rare beauty in our quest for instagram clout.The modern world sucks sometimes…no doubt I will be trying to self consciously take some pics of these places out of the train window.Hopefully catch some influencers in the wild…

Anyway enough of that stuff let’s talk Italian toilets…there’s nothing wrong with them per se.They’re clean and very usable apart from the occasional hole in the ground type arrangement you find,which is ok for a bloke if you get my drift…however every cafe/bar I have been to,and there’s been a few,there’s only ever been one,that’s one toilet,not one male one female,just the loan bog in the whole place and I don’t know why.Are Italians better at bladder control? Now a lot of females reading this will no doubt say “welcome to our world pal” but that’s not the point( it might be but I don’t have an adequate answer to that) I just find it all a bit odd…

Was going to watch the Italian game last night at an Irish bar I found,although it was very unIrish really,anyway had a few drinks & some great ravioli but there was still hours to go till kick off(9pm here) so thought I would have a few hours kip and return later,think you probably know what’s coming…woke up at 11pm.A bit later there were a few car horns but it was all a bit subdued as if like the true English fans the Italian fans know they’re not very good and are squeaking along on their arse…in England’s case we have the talent but a dullard in control who is so scared of losing a game he won’t let go of the reins an allow the players to play…in Italy’s case it seems to to a dearth of talent in this generation.Which is horrible to watch.I am used to Italian teams being horribly nasty & cynical with supremely talented players,now the talent seems to have gone..,

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#24 La Spezia…

The hotel arrangement is like this.The pizza restaurant is where you check in and out and they then escort you to whichever building you’re staying in as it seems they have places all around the city.At first I thought I was in their hotel but it appears they have a floor in a handsome townhouse that’s otherwise occupied by local residents.I can see that being a problem sometimes.Like a super Airbnb.Luckily I’m as quiet as a church mouse but if you get rowdy buggers for a week I’m guessing it can be hell…

The breakfast is part of the booking and it’s in the pizza place.To be honest it looks a bit shitty from the outside but get past that and it’s pretty cool.I was surprised by how many people were there having breakfast which is why I figured they have rooms all over the city…the breakfast was of course very basic.They ain’t gonna pull out the stops really and the coffee was without a doubt the worst I have had in Italy,which is of course a very high bar so it was still ok.I have just been spoiled this last week or so…

The good thing about strolling around the docks is you can see the rain coming in and plan accordingly.Just as it hit i hit the dockside bar.One of those pre fab buildings that doubles up as a bar,tobacconists,souvenir shop and no doubt everything in between…the dock is pretty big and has practically every vessel imaginable.Containers,big cruise ships( but not huge like in Venice,just village sized rather than small town sized) Working fishing boats,small yachts,big posh, but not super international Russian oligarchy yachts where politicians from western countries go to receive their orders for the coming year and of course war ships of the Italian navy.The warships are docked a little bit away from the rest of them of course…

Talking of football,until recently La Spezia were in Serie A.Indeed they spent the last three seasons there suffering relegation last season after previously being a solid Serie B outfit for a decade or so.I mention this because it’s not got the feel of a football city but it clearly is.The place isn’t small but it’s not exactly Portsmouth either.It would be like Truro City being in the Premier league…another thing is I imagined I’d be watching wall to wall Euros in Italian bars surrounded by excited locals but that’s not been the case.I think the reason is any other time I have watched a game on telly in Europe I have sort out the obligatory Irish bar in any given city and I haven’t done that this time…maybe I should.

Just about to cross the road in a small side street and a fella stopped his car as soon as he went past and jumped out I thought “ oh fuck, what’s this?” Bounded up to me obviously speaking Italian.As soon as he realised I had no idea what he was saying he laughed and asked where the dockside was as he needed to find a restaurant! Haha .Bloke badly needed some fish…luckily for him I knew where the docks were…when someone jumps out of a car towards you it’s a worry though…

May have found my local anyway.On the same street but at the other end,It has nothing to do with the very sexy and very pleasant barmaid honest…and yes I’m aware I’m a sad auld fucker and she’s on the clock and paid to be nice etc but it cheers me up occasionally…anyway that being said I was’nt adverse to a bit of flirting with the older ladies when I was a young snake hipped waiter so where’s the harm? As long as both parties know where the line is it’s all good clean fun…

Got home last night after a long day doing a whole lot of nothing and the lift wasn’t responding.For some reason i instinctively knew the door had been left open on the 4th floor.The hotel room floor…the thing with these fantastic old lifts is you have to physically open & close the doors otherwise they don’t work and all those that live here are acutely aware of that whereas many tourists are not.Anyway got to the 4th,sure enough the door had been left open…these are big floors by the way,it nearly killed me but my apple step counter was doing cartwheels of delight…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#23 La Spezia…

Bologna station is cool.As I said yesterday they have platform indicators that tell you which coach will be positioned where but it’s not uniform to every train as I discovered yesterday.I was in coach 11 and positioned correctly then they switched and I had to dash down the whole platform.Me and everyone else.Same thing today…they give you a minute before the train comes in and as you can imagine it’s mayhem but amusing too…at least everyone is either going one way or the other so a natural flow develops…

Still it’s nothing compared to Florence station,which is nuts.I’m glad I came yesterday so I knew what to expect today.As you get off the train there’s a sort of informal holding area with guards but you can come and go as you please so consequently there’s a throng of people with their wheelie extension cases cracking into your shins like a Stoke City player on a cold Tuesday night ( I hate them,the cases also) after that is a similar area but with more people crashing into each other as they all run to different platforms at the same time.Luckily noticed my train was already waiting on the platform with loads of time to spare and I could relax and have a smoke on the platform.It’s a double decker too.So a nice two and half hour trip to the coast hopefully…

In La Spezia,journey fine and was surprised by how many young Americans got off there too.Not sure if they’re changing over to go elsewhere or not.Might have to check if the local Maccy D’s is mobbed to find out…hotel is not open for a few hours so found a sexy cafe bar by the nearest roundabout.Friendly staff and locals so feel hopeful about the place…not very up on my La Spezia apart from the naval history but reasearched that Shelly,Lord Byron & Dante all lived here at one time so this blog has a lot to aspire too! Don’t think they lived together in a Berlin Bowie/Iggy Pop styleeee in a doomed effort to get off the smack…

Found the hotel and it’s a pizza place! It’s actually not but that’s where I got the keys from and that’s where I have breakfast too(cold pizza for breakfast? All done that!) The fella was a bit miffed as I was early but bugger it who cares? Wasn’t gonna hang around till 6pm…anyway hotel round the corner on the 4th floor of an beautiful old town house type building with one of those ancient lifts that I barely fit into…also when I opened the window there’s a pride shindig going on in the square underneath.Also also the street’s about a mile long lined with orange trees that are bearing fruit.Unfortunately all the low ones have been scrumped already..,only been here a few hours and it feels a bit of a special place…gonna check out the docks tomorrow…

Spent the rest of the day roaming,although that not really true as La Spezia is built on a grid system l ended up roaming one street,it’s the one where my hotel is and it’s really long,as most of the streets here seem to be…I suppose there’s no reason to build a grid system if you’re gonna make the roads piddling little things…from what I gathered the road I’m on has a good end and a bad end.Naturally I’m on the bad end…

It’s raining! After consistently sunny days since being in Italy we finally have some rain and judging by the forecast we’re due rain my whole stay in La Spezia which is a pity cos’ my body is as beach ready as it’s ever gonna be(insert own joke here) looking out of the window it doesn’t appear too bad and it’s still warm which obviously poses the dilemma of wear a raincoat and stay dry but sweat up badly or don’t wear one and just get a bit wet.Personally I’d rather be a bit wet and not stink as much later…but the coat’s rolled up in the little back pack just Incase…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#22 Bologna—La Spezia.

Going to Florence for the day,just hopped on the train now.It’s heading down to Napoli from Milano so that’s a fair old run.Luckily the station indicates which coach will be where on the platform.Good job too as these things are huge,I’m in coach 11,had no wrangling to find my seat either which was a bonus.Last thing a Brit needs is to argue about a train seat especially in another tongue…if you’ve not been to Bologna station it’s massive.Not particularly up top but downwards .Caught my train from the 3rd floor down I think…if you need the toilet by the way they’re so far away you’ll need to go to the toilet before you find the toilets…

Anyway in the hotel bar last night I asked for a drink and as usual said please and the barmaid had a strange crooked smile on her face when I said please in Italian.I asked about it and she said “ why are you asking please in Spanish?” Oh shit ! I had seen it written down and just went for that version without checking.hahaha, the more you know…

I was a bit cheesed off when I discovered my seat on this train was an aisle seat as I like to gawp out of the window.Twenty five minutes into a forty minute journey and it’s all been in a tunnel…nearly there and apart from small five second gaps of open air it’s all tunnel between Bologna and Florence.An amazing feat of engineering but boring as hell for the passengers…

So then Florence? Well it’s difficult to make a snap judgement but not impossible…first off had a great meeting with my nephew Joe & his partner.A family reunion in Italy was not on my bingo card at the start of this trip.The city is obviously teeming with history but man alive it’s also teeming with tourists (loads of Americans) and whilst in places like Rome,Paris or Berlin it’s easy to escape in a city centre as relatively small as Florence it’s not but in saying that I wouldn’t mind having a longer mooch around…

My only touristy things was to visit Ponte Vecchio as I’m fascinated by “ living bridges” with shops & houses etc I would have loved to have seen old London Bridge in it’s pomp but probably not to have died of pox at 25…Ponte Vecchio looks great with both sides dominated by jewellery shops.So they’ve stuck with the original ( Bridge of Gold) and not sold out to big corps.I was there or about for an hour or so and it was rammed.Not sure how much of this the place can sustain without incurring serious damage…I’m sure the city has considered this.

Florence also seems fairly expensive too.Not London expensive.Not enough to make you go “How much?” but enough to make you bridle a wee bit.Also I’m used to seeing fairly ornate railway stations around Europe,some are even architecturally outstanding but Florence station is “meh” at best or “ Sweet Jesus that’s fucking ugly” at worst.S’pose they don’t have to try too hard…anyway I’m back here tomorrow changing trains for the coast..,

Not sure if I have been unlucky with the Italian trains or if they’re constantly fucked.My original train from Florence to Bologna (one stop approx 40 mins) was 45 mins late.Asked the guard if I had time for a drink & he said as I’m English I had time for two.Haha all very good etc.Had a bevvy expecting to get my train and it was now 200 mins late! ( yep 200 big minutes) all the other trains were messed up too…

Tried to get on one that was going my way but doors were closed and wouldn’t open but on the next platform was yet another train going to Bologna which was from about two hours ago and my “fuck it “ head kicked in “ I’m getting on this fucker no matter what” anyway stood in the buffet with a bottle of beer hoping we get to Bologna before the guard shows up…gotta do this line tomorrow.The beer’s good though..,

Laters alligators…

Ps Next stop La Spezia on the coast.A quaint little fishing village apparently that also happens to be the headquarters of the Italian navy…

60 Days in Europe…#21 Bologna…

Laundry done,but as with most things this easy there were slight complications…got to reception and asked for powder.Fella didn’t even charge.Nice one.Found the laundry room with two machines & two driers,One machine in use so filled other one but couldn’t find the coin slot so popped back to reception to be told one machine & dryer were on coin & the other’s were on an app but it wasn’t very reliable.I get the feeling he’s had loads of complaints and used that as a caveat…

Waited but other user didn’t empty their machine when finished and there we no baskets to hoik their washing out but then a voice behind me asked “ Kommst du aus Dusseldörf?“ It was a nice German woman from Dusseldörf and she asked cos‘ I was wearing a top with the name of a bar she knew there…anyway pleasantries were swooped ( she’s interrailing too) and crucially she helped me download & use the app(the modern world eh) which turned out extremely easy to use.So there we go,laundry sorted.It’s not quite a Bill Bryson story I grant you but my beard‘s better so there…

Walking home last night and it’s obvious that Bologna’s a hip young town full of beautiful people.Mind you at my age that could apply to Bognor Regis just as much…so if you’re hip,young,sexy and in control of your bowl movements you should probably give it a go.Like every European city I have been to there’s a very active street life day & night…just having a wine then off to visit the little bar I was in last night with the eccentric but lovable landlord Cheech( or Chong maybe) 

I like the Italians,find them very much like us,quick witted and not deadly serious about everything.Of course they’re generally dressed much smarter and look better with natural tans, not our orange tanning bed version and if I were a young fella I might even be consumed with jealousy,especially as they make it look so effortless.That’s the thing with cool,if you’re trying too hard you ain’t it…all that being said their spatial awareness is borderline psychotic.The amount of people I have nearly walked into today owing to their erratic meandering is astounding.Thank god I don’t drive…

Just found out today that the hotel bar also has a telly and will no doubt have tonight’s Italy v Spain game on.I will miss the England game as I will be round Cheech‘s place but gonna get back for the big one.Think most of the staff are Italian so may aswell join them in the bar…disappointingly the dive bar is closed but found a cool one I passed last night…

There is a thing I noticed.Vicenza had plenty of Italian flags up but I can’t recall seeing one here.Now Bologna’s pretty left wing,has been for years.Indeed they even suffered an horrendous terrorist bomb attack on the main train station  by fascists in the 80‘s killing over eighty people so they have good reason to be suspicious of populist flag waving bravado…I‘m not suggest the left don’t like football cos‘ we do, but our nationalist flag waving usually takes a back seat at these times as many countries flags have been hijacked by the right wing…sorry went a bit adrift there.

So back to normal.Still in the same bar having a great conversation with a German Swiss couple.A bit light hearted stuff etc maybe about an hour and when they left the waiter came over and informed me they’d payed my bar bill…patronising bastards! Nah it was really sweet of them.Gonna finish up and head back to the hotel with a spring in my step…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#20 Bologna…

There must be somewhere in this country where you turn a corner of the city centre and don’t go “bloody hell!” “Wow!” “Fucking hell that’s beautiful!”if there is an Italian version of Milton Keynes that sucks the very soul out of your living being I have yet to find it…I would normally describe such places as “Disneyesque” but that’s a very unfair description.Those Disneyesque type cities like Prague seem designed and maintained to drag money out of tourists( which is fine,a girl’s gotta make a living) but these places in Italy are just what they are and the ones I have visited these last two years aren’t even mad tourist spots…

As you can guess Bologna is very much in the mould I described above.It’s very different from Vicenza,much busier and probably more modern,say 400 years old rather than 500…there are a myriad of cloistered walkways lined with expensive looking shops and wine cafes( I am loath to call them wine bars as that is a specific English thing from the late 70’s onwards,sort of Abigail’s Party meets Rovers Return flogging warm Liefralmilch.A middle class pox) They also have those who-has-the-bigger-dick towers too,apparently twenty four of them but only two big ones stand out.Next to each other and one leaning alarmingly.The others are small but girthy( ooooh matron)

Anyhoo,worked out the local bus and used the app.Think I bought a week ticket for €8 but can’t be sure.Hopefully I don’t find out I’m wrong! Did my bit at the station by getting seat reservations for my next trip on Interrail.Learning to get that job out of the way early doors.Also got return ticket for Florence on Friday which were pretty damned expensive for a 40 minute trip,about €30 each way! Have always wanted to go but not to stay as the tourism is off the scale…when channel 4 started showing Italian football and we all thought it was sexy as fuck my favourite team were Fiorentina because Gabriel Batastuta was an icon of goalscoring and great celebrations…also my nephew is gonna be there so we can have a meet up.

Got chatting to a very nice French barmaid earlier from Lille ( “ we share the same weather!” The way to turn on an English bloke) guess what? She used to live in London.Wanstead Infact which is close to places I know well.I’d say 75% of the people I’ve chatted to on this trip have lived in London at some time or another…

Not quite another laundry day but the days are getting hotter & sweaty and my hotel has one in the basement which is very cheap.May have a go tomorrow as like station toilets use em’ when you get the chance.Incidentally the laundrette is about the same price too…

Found myself in a proper back street little bar.First thing said by the landlady “ English ? I lived on a narrow boat in Hackney for ten years” Mad aye it? The term “ Viccy Park” was used.I feel like I’m touring sexy ex pats in their natural habitat…anyway she’s buggered off and her hubby is a character.It’s a tiny bar, just one room with a few tables outside.He locked  up about half hour ago with myself and an old lady outside and indicated he was going for a couple of tokes…came back half hour later looking glassy eyed and immediately demolished two bowls of cake & cream! Hahaha…this is the kind of action I love in these places…

Blimey we have some rain.I am a long way from the hotel too as I was only going to stay here for one and I’m now on my fourth..,

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#19 Bologna…

Easy day(ish) there was no way I was walking into town to the station with my bags in this heat and luckily on my way back from the dodgy friendly bar last night spotted a bus stop which may or may not be my salvation…gotta give it a go this morning anyway.So yea hopped on the bus,it went away from where I wanted to go but then double backed on itself and I ended up at ant bus stop opposite the station ( it’s on one of my “ reels” whatever the hell they are) sorted.. 

Didn’t need those tickets I bought.First train to Pavada which is close,sort of Wolves to Brum distance,then train to Bologna which is slightly longer than Brum to London distance…no ticket checked of course but…found hotel ok even though it was a hot uncomfortable walk.Don’t know why I had so much fuckery with the buses in Vicenza.I’m normally ok on these things but even last time Italy proved problematic…ah well.

Hotel is pretty cool albeit a bit of a trek from the station.It’s probably not really but in this soporific heat it feels like it…had a good Wolves chat to the fella’s on reception.The place is very Gold & Black so we got chatting etc,you know how it is…luckily they have a bar so had a bevvy before checking out the room.Pretty sexy in a 2001 Space odessey kinda way…then found a local bar and had my first bit of potential trouble on these solo trips…

Only person sitting outside having a smoke,fella comes in and demands a cig(sometimes I give,sometimes not,depending on politeness usually) said no and he picks up my drink and threatened to throw it at me,so I gave him a fag cos’ frankly I didn’t want the hassle but then he started getting really arsey and of course so did I…things were calming down when he reached into his back pocket and my instinct was “ fuckers got a blade and I’m gonna be Schanked here” so I banged on the bar window and luckily a few people came out for a nose…I don’t know if he did have a blade but also I didn’t want to find out…bar staff were all apologetic but I assured them it wasn’t their fault,or Bologna’s fault,of Italy’s fault.It’s the way things are,just a random head the ball you can encounter anywhere,and frankly that’s the first bit of possible hassle I’ve ever had travelling on my own…after being a bit shaken I had another drink,had another smoke and calmed down.The fella of course had fucked off.See Smoking can be bad for you…anyway I’m determined not to allow it to cloud my judgement of the place…I think because I have never had any hassle before I have become too complacent to the dangers and so not as wary as I naturally should be.Being a smoker I get approached more than most too.Just gonna be on my guard more in the future…oh and if anyone suggests I should have had a square go with the fella he was younger,bigger,probably a lot quicker and possibly mentally unstable.Not combinations that would give me confidence of a good outcome.You rarely win fights against mentally unstable…

Better news was after looking at Instagram it turns out my nephew is currently up the road (relatively) so we will hopefully be meeting up in Florence on Friday…

In one of those weird hotels where most people seem to hang around here at night.Yes we’re a little bit out of the way,but not wildly,and a few of them are old duffers like me,but most of them are mid twenties and should be out getting rat arsed.I have just had a jaunt to the outskirts of the city and it seems a pretty lively place…Look at me moaning about younger folk not getting wrecked off their face!

Managed to download Bologna’s transport app called Roger…when I asked at reception about any local transport apps they said Roger and I just thought they were taking the piss…

Anyway it’s the morning and what a surprise the sun’s shining…

Laters alligators..,

60 Days in Europe…#18 Vicenza—Bologna.

Last day in Vicenza and what a great place.For a start it looks fantastic,medieval & Roman with a bit of modern thrown in…the lifestyle seems very relaxed & chilled.Not much rushing around in evidence at all.I suppose the usual good weather they get up here ensures a steady pace of life…no point asking me what the hot spots are in places I go to on these trips.I’m 66 and highly unlikely to be a) allowed in such places b)want to go to such places…the clubbing days are thankfully behind me.I’m happy just to go to different European cities and soak up the atmosphere and relax.Not even bothered about sightseeing anymore.Will check out certain noteworthy spots at my leisure but if I miss out so what? I’m doing stuff I want to do…sorry that all sounds a bit defensive and I was answering a question that wasn’t asked…

Anyway where was I? Oh yeah Vicenza.Well come here it’s a cool place.Seems more lively on a weekend naturally.The squares were teeming the last few days but today( Monday) it’s very quiet but still kinda cool…it’s a pretty diverse city,as most industrial areas are these days and indeed have always been.The only thing that changes is the demographics of any particular area.They’ve always shipped in migrants to keep the wheels of industry turning… 

Got my ticket sorted for tomorrow I think,actually not sure now.There was a definite language barrier…at the station first thing i did was ask the young lady who dealt with me about yesterday and got rolled eyes and a puff of the cheeks which I took to be Italian for “don’t fucking ask” so down to business and came away after five minutes with some tickets and €31 lighter.Only when I sat down for a coffee(Nero) over road and looked at them things didn’t tally up.For one thing they weren’t the trains I was looking to be on but they clearly exist.Ah well one way or another I will sort it out tomorrow at the station.In future I will pay more attention and try to tally up my Interrail with what’s happening at the actual station…

Talking of language…well it seems English is not widely known here but y’know you can get by.Even though my Italian is very very limited I have still managed to get what I want.Yesterday the fella in the tobacco shop couldn’t understand what I was asking and just as I was wondering how to mime “a pack of Marlboro Lights” it all clicked in.Anyway it makes life all that bit more interesting and funny…

Got some Swifts/Swallows( never could tell the difference) nesting above where I’m drinking.They’re amazing to watch in flight but far too fast & tricky for my amateur photographic skills…

Shoutout to my Hamburg Homegirl @sligo79 for the mosquito repellent heads-up.Got the spray she recommended called Autan tropical and it’s worked a treat.Swelling gone down,hotspots cooled and apparently it’s protects from West Nile Fever.So that’s nice…

Told a lie earlier when saying Vicenza was quiet.As I left about 7pm it was livening up and pretty busy…walked to hotel again for my steps brownie points and thought my “old” local must be open but alas not.Only been open once! So ended up at dodgy Loss Bar where angry Chinese wife greeted me with a smile and as all tables were full got afforded a seat on big Chinese bosses table…this is not the time to bring up Wolves or Fosun…

Forgot to mention how soft the water here is…it seems almost obscene to wash in the stuff it feels so good…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#17 Vicenza…

Walked to town.Bus too complicated and it’s about a mile & half in great weather.Obviously exercise is good and I want to be patronised by the Apple step counter…thought I’d do a chore and get my reservation ticket.The perfect time except when I got to the station about 75% of todays trains had been cancelled and there were many agitated people queuing up at the ticket office…tomorrow it is then.

Looked at the forecast and it’s hot hot hot for the foreseeable future.I used to be a bit Northern European about the hot weather.Didn’t mind it but only in small doses,now I’m getting to enjoy it,certainly better for my health that’s for sure…my forearms are even beginning to look more Mediterranean but my legs are still Giffard goth chick…will have to improve my wardrobe though.Never gonna pass as anything but Yamyam in these jumble sale outfits…I also need to sweat less in the extreme heat ( which is why I need to stop for a drink on numerous occasions.Honest guv) 

There are a few pigeons hanging around this little cafe in the market square and like nearly every pigeon I have seen anywhere in Europe most,if not all, have two feet available to them.That might seem a strange observation but in That There London I’d say half are missing a foot.Is it a disease? Or maybe they’re just not as aware that traffic exists as their European cousins…it’s perplexing and will worry me for about five minutes…

Made a wee bit of a language faut pas in the cafe earlier when asking for a black coffee.I normally ask for Americano as it safely covers all bases but for some reason I asked for “Caffe Negro” Luckily there was only another three people in there and after a few side eyed glances it was quickly established that  I knew no better as I was English and not a bitey Uruguay player…anyway got corrected.Even though I knew my mistake already i couldn’t be arsed telling them that but from now on I will make sure it’s “Caffe Nero” I say…

Walked back to the hotel but kept to the shaded areas.Getting pretty good at this Sun lark…thought I’d pop back into the station to see about my ticket and it’s exactly the same as this morning.If anything there’s more trains cancelled.Gotta feel sorry for the staff,clearly not their fault but I bet they’ve taken some hammer today! Poor bastards…

Once again bar at the end of the road is shut(must be a midweek thing) so back in this dodgy estate place called Loss Bar.Run by Chinese by the looks of it but with a very mixed clientele.There’s a bank of fruit machines down one side,one toilet with no seat for the whole bar and a side bar serving noodles…I say dodgy but they’ve been ok with me so y’know, image can be deceptive…

As for the football? Well not seen a ball kicked yet.Only found two pubs round here and one’s been closed for the last two days and the other is…well I don’t know but doesn’t appear very footballish…maybe I’ll have better luck in Bologna…

Layers alligators…

Ps Just got an electric shock as i tried to put money in the vending machine.Not too bad but it’s a good way to keep me off the Kit Kats…

60 Days in Europe…#16 Vicenza…

After trying to sort out the bus routes to some,but not total,success I managed to find myself to the centre of Vicenza…the travel app doesn’t do QR codes,it’s just got that red line across the middle which I don’t like at all.Also you can only buy individual tickets rather than daily or three days ones.Proof that Vicenza is not really a tourist town as such…I still don’t know where the bus is to get me back to the hotel but I’ll work something out at sometime…

Not sure why Vicenza isn’t a tourist hotspot as every corner turned is like a historic jump in time.Absolutely fascinating with beautiful squares packed to the brim with medieval buildings.I can see that it has much competition close by,most notably Venice,Verona,Trieste and also Florence.But it’s not any of the worse for that.There are tourists of course but they seem to be guided tours of fellow Italians rather than entire cruise ships of Americans.I didn’t do any research on the place but maybe it holds a significance in Italian history…sort of gone off Wikipedia research after it informed me Gyles Brandreth was born in Wuppertal.That sort of stuff can scar a man for life…

There’s certainly something about Italian cities in the north that appeals to me aesthetically.I think they were largely spared any damage in WW2 so remain very much as they’ve been for hundreds of years to a certain extent…it’s very easy just to wander around marvelling at the exquisite architecture of these medieval cities.It’s even easier to sit yourself down in a piazza for three or four hours watching the world go by with a steady supply of cold drinks.An easy lifestyle to embrace…I should however maybe cut down on my early morning coffee consumption.Look it’s generally €1-50 for the best coffee you’re ever gonna taste whilst sitting in surroundings that would fit perfectly in a 60’s black & white film.All you need is Audrey Hepburn on your arm & Anita Ekberg frolicking in a nearby fountain and the fantasy is complete…As many of you know having listened to me bang on long enough Germany is my favourite country but Italy is running it close and could overtake it soon…

I did well to get away with it so far but now I have a bit of sun following me I’ve also attracted some mosquitoes too.The bites aren’t too bad so far.On the arms & hands but there’s a belter on my “Doris” foot which has swollen a bit…the irony. I have  anti septic cream but hopefully the shops are open in town later and I can grab something a bit more potent…

I need to get into the station anyway to get my seat reservation for Bologna in a few days.This is my one bugbear with Italian trains.They rake in this money for no good reason.Half the time the trains are nowhere near full capacity and you’re shelling out €15 + on each seat reservation…

Because I couldn’t find my bus last night I walked back to the hotel.It was fine if a little hot and right next to the hotel is a bridge which rises steeply and there’s no choice but to walk it.Challenging but I did it twice today..anyway the local was closed so found another bar and it was ok,not great,but I did find the bus stop into town,I think,really not sure as they’re badly marked or I’m being a bit thick.Gonna check them out later and see which it is…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#15 Vicenza…

So things are proving to be a bit of a trial in The Autonomous Province of Bolzano…Innsbruck to Brenner fine.Chatted to a German cyclist couple who had also lived in London,well Richmond so not sure that counts…train to Bolzano was equally ok,even helped a couple with directions and then worried if I was correct(I was) but then at Bolzano things went a little bit tits up…

The train I had booked on didn’t exist.It happens occasionally,it’s rare but not unheard of.On the adjacent platform was a train to Verona but it wasn’t on the Interrail list.I could have risked it but didn’t want to be fined so settled for the next one which was going from platform 5…no train but noticed loads of people off that platform steaming to platform 1 and I followed the herd luckily just getting on with a minute to spare.It’s a slow job.Could say it goes all round the Wrekino…

Anyway got a bit of cold pizza & hot coffee and witness a small slice of dual nationality in The Autonomous Province of Bolzano…Bolzano is in South Tyrol,a region of a little strife with the Italian government.Consequently all signs etc are in both German & Italian,like Wales but higher mountains…outside the Mussolini/Roman inspired train station is a zebra crossing and a small roundabout.There was definitely German discipline and adherence to the rules at the zebra crossing yet a few feet away the roundabout was like every Italian stereotype comically confirmed.It all cheered me up no end…

I still have one more leg to go after Verona,a short trip to Vicenza.Trouble my Interrail says I have to reserve a seat but clearly not had time.The train I was going to get was fine but it’s not worked out that way.Ah well have no choice but to chance it…as an aside the views on this whole journey have been staggeringly beautiful and staggeringly dramatic…result.There’s an earlier train to Vicenza with no added supplementary tickets and it’s a double decker…

Hotel seems good.A little out of the way,just checking out what’s about.Found a cafe that does cans of beer out of the fridge so not ideal but any port in a storm…hotel does breakfast at €5 so that’s pretty hard to turn down.I normally go to a shop but won’t get better value than that…

Found a proper bar,the other fella closed at 6pm as it was more of a family bakery type affair.As I said before don’t fully believe google maps,just use it as a guide.When I looked for bars nearby it sent me below an underpass and even I know you don’t go near such a bar on your jacks as a stranger…I made my excuses and left even before I stepped foot in the place…

Laters alligators…

Ps Just ordered my third pint in this new place that’s literally up the road from the hotel and I think it might be a freebie.Saw the owner nod to the barman serving me and I never got a bill…if you’ve never been to Italy it’s customary to give you a bill every drink and you settle up when you leave…I will let you know.

Nope not a freebie…

60 Days in Europe…#14 Innsbruck—Vicenza

Last day in Innsbruck and currently having a pint in the railway bar where the mountain men hang out.There’s a good few Scottish fans in here on their way to Munich,which is a couple of hours train ride from here…

Checked out,did laundry,not checked in to new hotel yet but it’s only up the road so having a leisurely drink before hand…decided to check out Google maps to find a laundromat by the station and it’s round the corner.I have become somewhat au fait with European laundromats these last couple of years but they’re never quite what they seem.In this one you couldn’t buy powder( but coffee no problem) so had to nip down the shops.Also the machine’s complicated me but got help from local old woman and later on local Russian old woman…think I lost a sock but that’s life.All fresh for Italy tomorrow…

Dossing about by the river in the same little bar where the drunk fella was yesterday.It’s over the bridge from the Altstadt so not too touristy…anyway had a good chat with the barmaid.Born in Cologne with an Irish brogue when she spoke English.Chatted for a bit and when I mentioned Hackney it was “ Oh Jesus I lived in Stokey ( Stoke Newington) for twelve years,I’m sure I remember you from The George” ( she doesn’t but we had a good crack) It’s a big world but not always…you know you’re talking to a real Hackneyite when local bus routes are discussed with passion…

Checked in earlier.The place looks less like a hotel than anything I have ever seen,even when standing in reception I had to ask…room’s very plush though and it’s a shame to only have the one night there.It’s also next to the Hauptbahnhof which is handy as I have another long trip ahead including three changes,but I will be going through the mountains so good views accompanying dodgy pics from train windows no doubt…

Ended up in a bit of a drinking session with the bassist & drummer of the lounge lizard Muzak trio.The keyboardist bailed out…when I originally sat down a fella asked me to move as the band were setting up so I scooted to the next table.Turns out the drummer was also one of the barmen and kept his kit back at the bar,which was handy…anyway it felt rude to leave even if their sound was the kind that if you heard it in a lift you’d get out and walk up the twenty floors…truly terrible but they were clearly good musicians just trying to earn a crust…

Once they’d finished their set they joined me at the table.The bass player was local,probably close to my age and had even played with Joe Cocker a few times so clearly had some credibility.He was a sound bloke.The drummer was from El Salvador but had lived here a couple of decades.When I jokingly said he looked like he wanted to break out and go full “ John Bonham” at times he smiled,stood up and showed me his leg tattoo of Zep’s four symbols…we were set for the rest of the night talking all things rock and of course I couldn’t fail to mention that both Plant & Bonham were from the same part of the UK as myself thereby giving me some undeserved kudos…it was a good finish to a good day.

Now I’m having a coffee waiting for my train.The first one takes me to Brenner.I presume it’s the Brenner of the Pass fame.We will find out…thanks Innsbruck it’s been better than I expected.

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#13 Innsbruck…

Sitting in a very provincial railway station (don’t worry it’s not a Paul Simon song) thought I’d get up in the hills to clear my head.I can actually hear a cow bell somewhere close but can’t see anything.Oh and there’s nobody else here except me and a potentially psychotic bovine…

Decided to ask the receptionist about a possible extension of my room for one night rather than wait till checking out tomorrow as advised,good job as she said it’s fully booked other than a bed in a dorm,and that’s certainly not happening,so I popped next door for breakfast and scanned my phone.Got a room fairly easy in an Ibis by the Hauptbahnhof.Bit more expensive than I had hoped but that’s the price for inattention…as you can guess I never did laundry but another plan has been hatched…have to check out by 11am but can’t check in to new place till 3pm so take all my bags to the laundromat and do it in between hotels.Pure genius…apart from doing the original daft thing and booking a day short!

Lunch and a pint in a nice quiet place down by the river and a drunk fella sits next to me.Very pleasant but a little annoying.Kept singing “if you leave me now” think there might have been a breakup involved…finally got a taxi and the owner came out to apologise…

Innsbruck seems to be a quite young vibrant city.Don’t know why but I was expecting it to be a bit old & crusty but far from it.Maybe it’s the mountain air.No doubt the Tyrol gets loads of skiers in the winter months and possibly a good few of the younger ones decide to set up shop here and raise families…

Saw two things today that surprised me.The first I’ve never seen before.We’ve all had that thing of needing the toilet and go into a bar to use theirs,when I do it I buy a drink cos’ I’m a bit British like that.Today a young woman walking past grabbed a waitress,put a Euro in her hand and used the facilities.A new one on me…the other was very old school.A young kid with his mom clearly wanted a pee so she took him by a tree where I was sitting (yes I deliberately looked away!) that used to be common place in the UK but an ungrounded fear of a paedophile on every corner has meant “hold it in till you get home you little bastard” Until the little bastard starts pubbing it and he can piss anywhere of course!

A little while back I developed a bit of swelling on my left ankle & foot.It wasn’t painful at all but a bit unsightly and also meant I had difficulty putting on footwear.I don’t know the medical term but I called it “Doris Foot” after seeing many little old ladies in the supermarket with clear signs of the same thing and skin bulging out of too tight shoes.After a few days of the trip my “ Doris Foot” totally disappeared and now it’s back to good old gnarly troll feet.Obviously my lifestyle had become too sedentary.Something to guard against in the future…talking of which the apple phone step reader is a judgemental little gobshite isn’t it?

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#12 Innsbruck…

I do this thing on my first day in a new city.I take a trip to the mainline station to be familiar with the route when it’s time to leave just Incase of hold ups.Call it anal  retentive or call it attention to detail.Call it what you will it doesn’t matter,it’s what I do…

A rainy start today so got to the Hauptbahnhof and mooched around before going for a coffee in the station bar,this was about 10-30am and obviously I had stumbled into Innsbruck’s version of Wetherspoons.Plenty of folk in there looked & sounded like they were a good few pints in…these were all weather beaten men of the mountains.All men of a vintage best described as chronically decrepit.Thought I had walked into an Appalachian theme park with cow bells replacing banjos.The coffee was good though.Damn good…mind you I could be pulling an all nighter there if I don’t get digs sorted on the 13th!

Walking round Innsbruck and it can be easy to forget you’re in the Tyrol.Office block,shopping centre,Georgian schloss,office block,oh look a huge fuck off mountain! It’s a wee bit disconcerting at times…the city seems pretty well off.I mean they have a building with a gold roof and nobody has been up and stripped it.Imagine that in Wolverhampton?

There’s a fair few international tour groups knocking about too.Where I’m currently having a drink( by the gold roof ) they’re relaying the cobble stones with a fella cutting them as they go.Noisy & dusty as hell and it’s good fun watching the tour guides in a losing battle with the stone grinder…

I love maps,will gladly spend hours perusing them even one’s of places I know like Wolverhampton and I get a bit of a thrill entering a hotel and they have one of those tear off ones at reception and yet I don’t think I have ever looked at one.Must have about 25 of them at home.It’s an odd thing and no mistake…

This place has a very young clientele.There’s a university over the road but I doubt it’s a hall of residence or anything like that.Must be a coincidence.Does seem quite a sporty motif going on,mostly cycling,hang gliding that kind of stuff…

Oh I can feel my first laundry date coming up soon.Checked out the local ones and the nearest is just over the river Inn about 5 mins walk away…I am not in desperate need especially as we haven’t had many hot days so things are not too stinky just yet.Most of my t-shirts pass the very scientific sniff test but much like public toilets it’s best to use them when the opportunity arises…

It’s pissing down.I’m a bit knackered from walking all day,the hotel bar is quiet and the beer’s about €4 a pop so I may as well stop here…

Went into the Altstadt today and it’s pretty good.Most of them are tourist traps naturally and sometimes come over as pretty cheap & nasty but Innsbruck’s is quite classy.They have loads of tiny independent shops and cafe bars.I did see a Starbucks & Maccy D’s but they were hidden away and their signage was discrete,dare I say even subtle.Well played Innsbruck…

Laters Alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#11 Innsbruck…

Currently sitting on the train to Munich which is half hour late and that means I miss my connection to Kufstein in Austria and have to wait another hour there before finally getting the train to Innsbruck.So an eight hour trip will probably turn into a ten hour one…even though my hotel is in the city centre and I have downloaded the local transport app I won’t be in the mood to arse around so it looks like more taxi rides…

To be honest until fairly recently I would have been raging about such things but travelling around like this has taught me not to sweat the the stuff out of my control and things will work out one way or another.It’s annoyingly zen of me…

It actually worked out ok as the previous train which was also late was going to Munich too and of course loads of people got on that train leaving this train( the one I had booked) relatively empty so much easier to get a seat.Trouble is I am on the wrong side of the train to soak up the cracking views of the Rhine Gorge.Ah well after a while I’d be itching for graffiti strewn tower blocks anyway…mind you once into the Tyrol it’s gonna be Mountains,Edelweiss,cows with big bells and precocious singing brats being chased by Nazis…

Fella sat next to me earlier ( luckily got off at Stuttgart,he was a leaner)and he was a chatty one.Kaiserslautern/ Liverpool fan.Wanted to know where to get cheap hotel in London,I really have no idea but not sure he believed me.Did make me laugh when he said he was a darts fan and I looked and sounded like Phil Taylor!

So darts/football man got off and fella in the seat over the way had a kefuffle and came to sit by me.Turned out to be a maths professor who’d spilt his water on his papers.We had a good chat about Italy mostly.He was German but with Czech ancestry…he buggered off at Munich and now I’m on a packed little train waiting to go to Kufstein in Austria…missed my connecting by half hour but at one point thought I’d make it as there was scoreboard on the train counting down like Eurovision in reverse.At one point we‘d made up 25 minutes and I was on schedule but within an hour we lost 35 minutes and never got it back…this train has every seat taken plus lots standing.I sneaked a seat…still got another train to catch after this one…

Here at last! Ended up being a ten hour trip but hey ho I knew what I signed up for and anyway the last hour of the trip justified it.Absolutely spectacular! Hotel is busy,hadn’t paid,thought I had but sometimes they just hold the details Incase you wig out & they charge you.Not even been to my room yet,having a much needed beer.Not bad and only €4-30 a pint…so here now,asked lots of impertinent questions at check in and then I figured out I have booked a day short! Leave here on the 13th but not due to check into the hotel in Vicenza until 14th.Big oooops…got some negotiations to do.Girl patiently explained I can’t do anything until 13th…could be interesting.Goodnight all…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#10 Koblenz—Innsbruck.

Last day in Koblenz.Off to Innsbruck tomorrow morning for a bit of a ball breaking train journey of just under eight hours,changing at Munich East and somewhere in Austria that I can’t remember the name of right now but it’ll come to me sometime tomorrow…

Of course I have to mention it’s Sunday today and as is customary on here I have to speak of the German Sunday.I can’t remember when our traditional Sunday gave up the ghost in the UK to become just another day but I’m guessing it was sometime in the mid 80’s,probably about the same time pubs were granted proper opening hours rather than the restricted ones we used to have.People would be up in arms if that was repealed right now…rather than being up in arms about the government poisoning our water supply etc…

Anyway to be honest the German Sunday has no affect on me as I rarely shop except for life’s essentials like Ham/cheese bröchen booze & smokes.Those things are always gettable from somewhere…the only difference I notice is Sunday service public transport & more locals enjoying their cafe style alfreso free time…alles gut.

Koblenz is a nice place though,not too big but big enough.The locals seem chilled and it’s got a good combo of modern & historical too.The Aldtstat is funky but not too Disney…if you like rivers then this is the place for you with two of the great European rivers,Rhine & Mosel,meeting up.Of course with two rivers comes plenty of waterside cafe/bars which are always cool in a way non river based cafe/bars aren’t.

I’m not sure how many tourists the place gets.Because of the rivers they cater for loads of river cruise type things.I think many elder tourists go up and down the Rhine & Mosel for a week or so dropping off at a new venue daily.As for you youngsters? Don’t ask me,I’m an old bugger…

Looking at my itinerary I have put all the places I have never visited before in the first block with the last block being tried,tested & either want to see more of or just plain loved filling up the back end of the trip.As I said I’m off to Innsbruck tomorrow and yes I have been before but as a nipper with my mom & sister so I was’nt au fait with where to get the best bier and cheapest smokes…and it was only for a day.

 

One thing I am now doing differently to my last trip is taking my time starting the day.I was the eager beaver before,usually leaving the hotel before 8am only to wonder why nowhere began their day before noon and consequently peaking too soon.Now I’m having long lay ins,Christ I was in bed until 10am today like a moody angst filled emo teenager…never too old to learn.

Had a slight turn today though having a smoke and a woman,who I later discovered was the landlady,asked for my key.Turned out she thought I was checking out! I really thought I had done something unspeakably bad and was being turfed out for a moment.Needless to say we sorted it out…

It normally takes me about a day and a half to work out the local transport in any given city but because I dicked around here it’s been a bit longer.Finally sorted out my bus stop,got on and immediately as I showed my ticket the driver harrummped and got out the cab.I obviously thought “ oh fuck what have I done?” But nah,he stepped out for a smoke,along with three passengers! Welcome to Germany where having a tab takes presidence over everything…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#9 Koblenz…

1pm having a Weißbier down by the Rhine at Deutches Eck where the Rhine & Mosel meet.It’s hot & sunny and the various pop up Bier garten down here have attracted a shed load of people…including me.

Where I am staying is a block with four rooms and a shared communal area including kitchen,bathroom & relaxing area.Got up this morning and immediately walked in on a girl in the bathroom.Don’t worry we were both fully clothed and thankfully she was only touching up her make up…got chatting later and she’s Polish living in Berlin visiting a mate.Nice woman,we had a good chat…

Thought I’d fly the colours today in the guise of a Wolves training top.“training for what? A heart attack?“ no advertising naturally,just the Wolf head.As soon as I went outside a lad having a smoke in the yard looked and said “Wolves” turns out he’s Slovenian working in the area and living in the same place.So the mystery of the “hotel” is it’s that with a few longish term dwellers.Everyone I have seen has been early twenties so I’m the weird auld fella residing on the top floor…anyway another nice chat and it turns out he prefers basketball to football.It’s a big Balkan thing apparently…

Coffee in the REWE cafe where the girl laughed at my accent.I don’t mind,all good fun & all that…and successfully downloaded a three day bus ticket then hoped to god it worked…it did thankfully but I’m alway wary of the bus thing.If you’re on a train and the app fails it doesn’t matter cos’ no one is being held up,the train’s still moving and all it’s just a mild embarrassment plus gives other passengers a bit of a sideshow.With a bus I’m aware of holding up those going about their day and get a bit self conscious.All terribly British…

Got into town and bumped into a mini festival down by the Rathaus.Seemed to be local school musicians doing their thang.What I heard was pretty good…then took a stroll down to the river where I am now.Things are always better when the sun shines…Will check out the cable car over the river after my drink.Hopefully not too expensive otherwise I’ll have to swim over…checked it out.You know it’s pricey when there’s an atm next to the ticket office.Sorry but the views will have wait…

Fancied a bite to eat by the river,nice looking Italian place,happy smiling waitress hands me a menu then will disarming glee informs me the kitchen is closed (3-20pm Saturday go figure) she was so pleasant it was almost as if she was doing me an enormous favour…oh well wine it is then.Will find something up town…

Laters alligators..,

60 Days in Europe…#9 Koblenz…

1pm having a Weißbier down by the Rhine at Deutches Eck where the Rhine & Mosel meet.It’s hot & sunny and the various pop up Bier garten down here have attracted a shed load of people…including me.

Where I am staying is a block with four rooms and a shared communal area including kitchen,bathroom & relaxing area.Got up this morning and immediately walked in on a girl in the bathroom.Don’t worry we were both fully clothed and thankfully she was only touching up her make up…got chatting later and she’s Polish living in Berlin visiting a mate.Nice woman,we had a good chat…

Thought I’d fly the colours today in the guise of a Wolves training top.“training for what? A heart attack?“ no advertising naturally,just the Wolf head.As soon as I went outside a lad having a smoke in the yard looked and said “Wolves” turns out he’s Slovenian working in the area and living in the same place.So the mystery of the “hotel” is it’s that with a few longish term dwellers.Everyone I have seen has been early twenties so I’m the weird auld fella residing on the top floor…anyway another nice chat and it turns out he prefers basketball to football.It’s a big Balkan thing apparently…

Coffee in the REWE cafe where the girl laughed at my accent.I don’t mind,all good fun & all that…and successfully downloaded a three day bus ticket then hoped to god it worked…it did thankfully but I’m alway wary of the bus thing.If you’re on a train and the app fails it doesn’t matter cos’ no one is being held up,the train’s still moving and all it’s just a mild embarrassment plus gives other passengers a bit of a sideshow.With a bus I’m aware of holding up those going about their day and get a bit self conscious.All terribly British…

Got into town and bumped into a mini festival down by the Rathaus.Seemed to be local school musicians doing their thang.What I heard was pretty good…then took a stroll down to the river where I am now.Things are always better when the sun shines…Will check out the cable car over the river after my drink.Hopefully not too expensive otherwise I’ll have to swim over…checked it out.You know it’s pricey when there’s an atm next to the ticket office.Sorry but the views will have wait…

Fancied a bite to eat by the river,nice looking Italian place,happy smiling waitress hands me a menu then with disarming glee informs me the kitchen is closed (3-20pm Saturday go figure) she was so pleasant it was almost as if she was doing me an enormous favour…oh well wine it is then.Will find something up town…

Laters alligators..,

Ps( big ps) ended up back in the Bier Garten with a belly full of Currywurst,a few more drinks then got the bus back to the Hauptbahnhof to get another bus to the hotel via my new local.Popped into the shop at the hbf and got a “ Wolverhampton “ off someone who frankly looked deranged so gave him a body swerve but acknowledged the recognition…my bus was in an hour( in many ways it’s a small town) so decided on a taxi to the Germania Eck.Taxi driver mentioned Wolves as soon as I got it.Turkish with friends in Hackney naturally…

Germania was closed and just my luck there was a fella who recognised me and motioned to go to the pub next door with him and what followed was an excruciating half hour in each other’s company.It was terrible and one I think neither of us want repeating…got back to hotel,Slovenian fella was outside.He said he was leaving in the morning.I reminded him he said he was here for two years and he said his boss had organised a new place 5km up the road and he needed to be there asap…

An interesting day…ciao!

60 Days in Europe…#8 Koblenz…

I have been banging these out first thing in the morning even before my first coffee,even before my first smoke! As there’s no hard & fast rule apart from those I impose on myself which,like New Year’s resolutions,are not worth a fig..I’m sitting in the Germania Eck at 8-20pm writing this…

I found infrastructure this morning.Much like Freiburg last year it was there I just wasn’t looking in the right place.Took a different path today and sure enough found a REWE( my favourite German supermarket) and bus stops and later on realised the bar I’m in now is on the same road.Things is looking up…my only fly in the ointment was the local transport app.I hadn’t realised I had already downloaded one and as I discovered later it bears no resemblance to this other one I downloaded today but that turns out to be an app for the €49 across the board monthly German rail ticket( I’m not eligible by the way) asked the REWE deli girls and they said try The Hauptbahnhof,I did that and the fella said pay on the bus…eventually got on a bus to ask for a 3 day ticket and he didn’t take cash,of course I had no cards with me…what a palaver! 

Sod it,I thought I’d sort it out later…took a stroll round town in the blistering weather,shorts on and everything, ended up walking by the Rhine then remembered this is were the Mosel & Rhine combine.It’s striking the two shades of water has a distinct edge.Anyway it’s all very impressive especially as pop up Bier garten appeared round the corner.Had a nice bevvy…this will be common place I presume when the Euros begin…

Germany v Greece is just about to start on the telly…ok here’s the thing.I was originally gonna stay in Germany for a month whilst the Euros is on but for one thing it’s too pricey and also after thinking about it I don’t want any association with some of the sizeable minority who will fuck around like complete idiots.There’s a reason why the German’s have had to issue a statement saying those singing the “Dambusters” song will be arrested,especially as the games are all in the Ruhr valley…many of those taking part are just too stupid to know better,having a laugh innit? But there are a good few who are serious and know exactly what they’re doing.These are the types of fuckers that go to Dachau or Belsen and do the one armed salute in front of the gates…these cunts know exactly what they’re doing…I know the good England fans outweigh the bad but there are enough shitheads hanging on to sully it for everyone.I’ll be watching it in Italy & France and return to Germany when it’s almost over…incidentally German street furniture is usually hard  & heavy wooden chairs that numb the arse after 30 minutes not the plastic crap our brave foot soldiers are used to chucking.Don’t think our boys have trained enough…esp v Serbia.

Ho hum.Sorry about that,just needed to vent…going to close now but will probably update in the morning…

Back again! It’s a beautiful day again and I’m happy to say I am starting to get some decent Zzzzzzz’s in.Usually at home when I go for my old man trip to the toilet I end up putting the kettle on and messing about on a you tube rabbit hole and that doesn’t help at all.Here there are no such distractions so I just tootle off back to bed…I could watch you tube on my phone of course but I’m an idiot not a bloody psychopath…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#7 Koblenz…

What I thought was gonna be a bog standard journey from Wuppertal to Koblenz was anything but….my route would have been Wuppertal—Bonn—Koblenz and essentially it was but instead of 90 minutes the trip was more like 360 minutes with both trains being badly late along with a slow drift towards their destinations…German’s often complain about their train service and in this case it was justified.There were a lot of apologies announcing at Cologne station yesterday.A station I should’nt even have been at but owing to the way the day was going I found myself there…ah well at least German inter city trains are better than ours…

Getting into Koblenz station Google maps showed me I was with  in walking distance of my lodgings,it’s not a hotel but a room in a house( sort of,not quite Airbnb either) I took a wrong turn of course and walked for a fair while but found the place eventually and there’s nothing here apart from other houses! No shops immediately close or bars or even bus stops.Whereas everything in Wuppertal was close at hand here I am in a virtual desert.I had this last year in Freiburg and found I was closer to things than I thought so all is not lost yet…it’s a long walk into the city centre though.

I had been emailed how to access the keys etc earlier in the day.It was all in German but I could pick out the main gist of the message so all was good.On getting there got the keys ok out of the key press and followed the instructions as best I could before ending up at the top of the block in front of an unmarked door…ah shit.My British reluctance to cause a scene meant I didn’t try the door of course and went back to the ground floor to see if I had missed something…

Luckily I bumped into a young woman who was leaving so I asked her if she could help( never be too macho to ask in these circumstances) and the unmarked door was correct all along…one more thing,and I’m not proud of this,the woman in question had clearly been in the wars and had a massive plaster/bandage affair on her ear and all the time she was talking my eyes drifted towards that area and she caught me a few times too.So not only did I hold up her day asking a lot of impertinent questions but I also drew attention to possibly one thing she was self conscious about…

Walked into town and found a place by the Hauptbahnhof for a few beers,Tried to suss out local bus routes to my area but there didn’t seem to be any,which is odd as it’s an area with lots of houses & small factories.There’s a possibility I was looking in the wrong area all together and there’s plenty around here…

Sitting outside the hbf having a beer my first impression was Koblenz is more relaxed than Wuppertal.The Wuppertal folk whilst nice enough did seem to be weighted down by the daily grind & drudgery of it all whereas Koblenz folk seem lighter on the feet…

Looking online I noticed a bar close to where I was staying(5 minutes walk) called the Germania Ecke and decided to take a taxi..a taxi to the pub? How decadent! And it’s cool and friendly and you can smoke there…the taxi driver and I had a good talk which wasn’t just “ been busy?” “ what time do you finish?” He told me the correct way to pronounce Germania with a hard “G” Anyway I have found my local with the resident scary ass German landlady.Trust me they’re a thing… 

Anyway the sky is clear so it looks like shorts weather and as it’s not rained for a bit the Rhine might have calmed down a bit.It was very full yesterday and flooded in a few places upstream…

Time for a shower then exploring…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#6 Wuppertal—Koblenz

Off to Koblenz later which is about halfway down the glorious Rhine Gorge.Never been there before only through it.As it’s only a 90 minute ride from here and there’s loads of trains to choose from I’m taking my time today…

Because of the nature of the Interrail ticket I’m using I will be staying in certain places longer than is really necessary.For instance six days in Wuppertal is needlessly long,six days is fine for Paris,Berlin or anywhere sizeable but not really for smaller cities.Saying that it’s a fine place with the one main attraction which I have banged on about a fair bit…as I said in an earlier blog I have a high boredom threshold so it’s not really that much of an issue and Wuppertal is good.It’s friendly without being cloying about it.A German trait I’ve found everywhere in the country.They don’t feel the need to pander to the whims of the tourist and more power to them I say…

I very nearly got (wrongly) done for fare evasion last night too.Inspectors got on the Schwebebahn and I had bought a 24 hour ticket on my phone but couldn’t find it,panicked as they approached me and bought another but they saw what I was doing and were debating whether to charge me or not.I explained and one took my phone and pressed the correct button saying I had just over an hour left of my original ticket…stupid old English person confounded by technology.At least I have my ticket for today albeit a bit overpriced!

They did cart off a fella sitting by me though.No messing about,frogmarched off at the next stop and slapped with a €60 fine…don’t fare evade people.

Funny how quickly the outstanding becomes mundane is’nt it? The Schwebebahn is,by any stretch of the imagination an amazing feat of engineering and also looks damned cool and yet after a short few days of using it I don’t even look out of the window…same with Eurostar,entering the tunnel under the English Channel is now more of a “meh” instead of a “ bloody hell wow!” Humans are weird…

Not sure the cold I complained about getting a few days ago is actually a cold.It might be mild hay fever.I have never suffered from it before but the last few years have gotten more sneezy as the summer approaches…and today looks like the brightest one of the trip so far and as I’m moving down south maybe soon I can give the cotton buds I call my legs an airing…

Bought a packet of smokes yesterday and got a free lighter.This wasn’t some promotional device in an upbeat shop with music blaring but a bog standard kiosk on the edge of town(was literally at the last stop of The Schwebebahn) to be fair it was nothing fancy,looks like those the junkies flogged at ten for a quid in Wolves town centre that blow your hand off on first using…hey it was free so winning…

Said goodbye to my local last night.There were tears,hugs,backslaps,phone numbers exchanged etc…nah sorry to break the romance but it was me saying to the landlord “ well this is my last time here,been nice knowing you,I’m off tomorrow “ the reply was basically “ oh ok…goodbye “ it was emotional…

Gonna find a cafe and down a few Americanos before making my way down to the Disneyesque Rhine Gorge to where the Rhine meets the Mosel.It’s wine country down there so I could be going all sophisticated for a while…

Laters alligators…

60 Days in Europe…#5 Wuppertal.

Got to Dortmund.Was only there a couple of hours but seems an ok place.Fairly big & modern( it suffered a lot during the war ) Naturally it’s a lot more centralised than Wuppertal,which has about five centres,so easier to navigate…in the end I bought a physical ticket and it was cheaper than any I saw on my phone apps…

Funnily enough despite the size of Wuppertal their railway station is relatively small so I had to go to the information desk to ask where to get a ticket and got pointed to the Relay shop,which is a stationery/snack shop type affair,to get it.All very village post office… 

It was in these two exchanges i met the two German responses to the question „“sprechen Sie Englisch?“ The first is the humble brag „“ Only a little“ before reeling off a stunning soliloquy worthy of the bard himself.These are usually older people.The other is the dead eyed stare coupled with a „“ Of course“ not only that but there‘s probably a follow up of „“ I can also do regional accents if you want or we could do French,Spanish,Dutch,Italian,Polish or Russian.I‘m also dabbling in Cantonese but I must apologise as I am a bit rusty“ these are normally younger German‘s serving you in a shop as you point at an item to buy…German education appears to be slightly better than ours but then ours does seem to be just Tik Toks…

I digress…so Dortmund seems cool what I saw of it.They‘re beginning to gear up for the Euro‘s as the city,being a huge football area,is playing a big part.Indeed this part of Germany is heavily involved especially as it has a high proportion of high standard stadiums…I also got bitten by a sharp bit of humour.Got  to a small bar with no indication of which beer was which on the taps.When asked what I wanted I pointed to a fella‘s beer saying „“was ist das“ „“Das“ the barmaid paused for comic effect „“ ist ein Bier“ the few people at the bar all pissed themselves and in truth I did too but that might just be the old age and diabetes…

Toodled about in central Wuppertal when I got back then visited my local and got distinct „“Cheers“ vibes.The bar is just a single room,I have never seen more than maybe ten people in there,all about my age.As I walked in I needed a piss but got a „“Hallo“ from all in there then coming back a beer was waiting for me at the seat I have been regularly using with a Bier mark on the bier mat…nobody called me „“Norm“ though.Infact thinking about it nobody has really spoken to me in four days,no names exchanged,no awkward small talk shared.They know I’m English and that’s it…not one person has attempted to get to know me and yet it’s really friendly in a way I can‘t explain..The friendliest unfriendliest bar in the world…

Today is my last day in Wuppertal then I’m off down the Rhine Gorge to stay in Koblenz for a good few days.It’s only a short train journey tomorrow so there’s no real rush.Plenty of trains… I find as I am getting better at finding my hotel in various places( I rarely take taxis)I am not in a rush also checking in isn’t till mid afternoon usually…anyway that’s tomorrow and today it’s grey & rainy so it’s a case of having a good mooch around the place…

Laters alligators..,

60 Days in Europe…#4 Wuppertal

I think I’m getting a cold,which is a bit of a bugger.It should be against the law to fall ill when you’re on holiday or travelling or whatever the hell this is…

Something was bugging me about Wuppertal that I couldn’t put my finger on for a couple of days then I realised I hadn’t been angrily admonished for idling in the bike lane.Not because I am more aware of my surroundings but because there aren’t any,or any cyclists.At least not many.This is most unusual,every other German city I have been to has been wall to wall cyclists but not here.No idea why…

Had a mooch around yesterday riding the Schwebebahn and checking out various stops.Stopped at Vowinkle naturally but there’s not a lot there…it’s the end of the line and decided to go the whole stretch of The Schwebebahn to the other end where the most exciting thing that happened was the waitress forgot about me and I was left sitting there for half hour waiting for my Americano…was gonna storm off all indignant like but thought about what an empty gesture that would be as she couldn’t even remember I was there in the first place.Anyway she remembered my existence eventually and was very apologetic & sweet.No harm done…I also dropped off at the local football club,one stop up from my stop,it’s a nice little ground and I managed to grab some pics.Apparently it’s being used by the Slovenia squad for Euro training…

Think I’ll go to Dortmund today.It’s about fifty minutes on the train and apart from the football club I know little about the place.As it’s in the Ruhr Valley I’m guessing it’s a very industrial working class city like most of them are around this area…I thought I would use my DB( Deutsche Bahn) App but the trouble is I haven’t used it for about five years so obviously I’ve forgotten my password and DB seems to have forgotten my email address so we’re in the classic Mexican standoff.How will it ever resolve itself? Well I deleted the app.No point keeping it…then I tried Trainline,again not used it for years,it worked but it’s cheapest tickets were too expensive.Next I tried Omio,which I have never used and their cheapest tickets were dearer than Trainline…

Finally managed to download an app that looked promising,did all the stuff and was just about to purchase when I noticed there was no QR code,the only option was print at home.MUTHAFLIPPER…looks like might be going old school by buying a ticket off a bored teller scratching his arse for fun…

Not sure if were going to get any sun at all,not had any yet this trip.It’s been as grey as a Battleship Grey painted cruiser…

Laters alligators…