60 days in Europe…#1 London to Wuppertal

Checking the tickets last night I couldn’t find the printed QR code to get me past the initial Eurostar gate.I don’t have a printer but kept all the relevant paperwork & email confirmation so after a five minute panic accompanied by lots of swearing of the “ you fucking idiot” type I figured I could sort it out at St Pancras today and sure enough within a minute I had my ticket printed off…all in all I would say it took no more than ten minutes getting through bag checks & passport control.Took nearly as long to rehook my belt in my jeans.Fair play to Eurostar.When it goes wrong it’s a nightmare but more often they get it right and it’s a breeze…

Did all the necessary things before leaving the flat for two months.Ate all the perishables I had,made sure the rubbish bin was chucked out & liberally poured strong bleach down any holes that usually take liquid,I even bought three glade,the type that smell like your grandma’s secret draw,y’know the one with ten year old boiled sweets in it…

My journey today is London-Brussels-Cologne-Wuppertal.Probably about five hours all told.Done the Eurostar to Cologne a few times and it’s fine except there’s always a change at Brussels Midi which unfortunately is probably my least favourite station in Europe.I don’t know why but there you go…looking forward to finding out what the score is in Wuppertal.I know it’s famous for that hanging monorail  which basically traverses the whole city,it follows the path of the river and the city itself is very long & thin.If it was in Italy it would probably be nicknamed Spaghettiville or something but it’s not so it isn’t…

Wuppertal is also the birthplace of Friedrich Engels and,I swear I’m not making this up,Gyles Brandreth.Not two names I would ever utter together usually.I’m sure Freddy had a fine collection of unfunny comedy jumpers too…

I’m guessing there will be an influx of Borussia Dortmund fans coming in the opposite direction to me from Cologne for tonight’s European Cup final in London.No doubt them and the Real Madrid fans will head for central London where there’s also an enormous attempted grift by EDL frontman Tommy “ I’m a journalist me” Robinson and his knuckle dragging acolytes.I predict it to kick off about 11am after the Stella & Charlie takes hold of our brave little soldiers…there will also be lots of kettling later on.What a shame I’m missing that! 

Laters alligators…